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My friend "female" started ignoring me and acting wierd when i started dating my BF.

Smack2485

By Smack2485
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Smack2485 New Member

Smack2485

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She is a Lawyer, i was her client for 6 years, and Our profesional relationship grew into a friendship.We would speak everyday, many days more then once. She to me Was like a "second mother", i adored her and she me.

 

Her 10 year business partner "a man", were like brother and sister, they shared a house together for 5 years, she lived upstairs and he down. They were like Best friend and like "brother and sister". He never fancied [her], and she never fancied him, strictly business and friendship.

 

My feelings for him grew strong, and he had feelings for me too. Before going out with him, i called her to meet her, as i wanted to know 100% there is nothing between them.I called her, and met her, she said she was very happy for us, and he is a good guy for me, and he is like a brother to her and business partner, nothing else.That night i spoke to her again, and she reassured me again, that there Was nothing between them... I told her i loved her (i do love her like my mentor/ second mother) and she said that she loved me also.

 

The next day, i went to her office, and she told me that it is Best i am no longer a client, i asked her if she Was sure she didnt want me to go back, she nerviously nodded her head, looked to the floor and quickly changed the subject.

 

When i started going out with him, she would follow us everywhere...When i drive past her in the car, with out moving her head, she will stare at me as i go fast!She ignores my calls, messages, blocked me on Facebook, and acts like i dont exist......I spoke to a girl Who has worked with her for 9 years, and she said that not once has she explanes why she ignores me, But never ever bad Names me, and doesnt ACCEPT others bad name me....And ever since, people Who work with her have told me, she has turned very cold and hates people....And one time i called her, and she answered, she knew it Was me But acted like she didnt know, asking WHO IS IT? I put the phone down as i thought it Was childish...

 

That afternoon i received a "private number" call me and it Was her, asking Who i Was again... Ever since, nearly everyday i receive private numbers calling me, which has never happened to me before!!!

 

One time, when we firat started dating.... her parents had moved nearer our area so she lived with them to take care of them..... as she was no longer in the same house as him.. i stayed of one night.... he left the keys in the door just incase she came... 8:30 in the moring she knocked at the door, he opened it and i was still in bed... she came straight through the house, straight into the bedroom where i was, put on the light, said good morning, and stood staring at me for about 10 minutes and then just walked out.

 

When i call her, sometimes she ignores me, sometimes she has and speaks very cold, other times she answers and just listens.So, 5 weeks ago i had enough of trying, and now im not calling her, she has started turning up at the same coffee shop where i have my morning coffee, at the same time as me.she called me, she kniws 100% my phone number, i answered and she said; Who am i speaking with.. i said Its me, she went silent and hung up... i rang her back and no answer.

 

I am selling a Share of my company and went to the notary this morning to organise all documents etc... as i walked in, she was in there.. she look like she had seen a ghost when she saw me... she was waiting for some clients of hers.. i sat down, as i had to wait for the lawyer... the notary is huge, and she same and stood right by me, didnt speak, but stood so near she was nearly touch my foot.She finished walked out with her clients and i was stood waiting for my documents, she came back in, and asked for some documents... she walked out before me, and as i walked out and in my car, she stared at me and waited for me to drive off.

 

After seeing her, i called her to see if she wants a coffee, she answered and said good morning, i said its me, can we speak... and she just listened and didnt speak... i put the phone down and i clled again.... this time the man in her office answered and said she does not want to speak to me and never does!!!

 

Adter this i blocked her in whatsapp chat and facebook..... AND NOW she look for me in Telegram!!!!!I blocked her in whatsapp, and 2 days after this guy calling me and saying she never wants to talk to me..... she downloads Telegram, as she knows i have it!!!!! She never uses Telegram normally!!!!

 

I havent tried to contact for since that guy insulted me which was about 6 weeks ago....well, last friday i was on my terrace, and she drove past my house slow looking....and then yesterday i saw her in a coffee shop and she looked at me, hesitated and then walks away without speaking!!!!What do you think is her problem?

 

A few weeks ago i sent her a message to see if she could help me with my Tax.... nlshe did not answer

 

And 2 hours later she sent me 2 messages

 

1 saying: Charming if you really love me, where are you? I will not bothet you and not rebuke. Thank you

 

And the other saying: what are you doing with your Tax? Thank you

 

I answered asking her if the messages are for me and i think she has the wrong person

 

And she did not answer.

 

This morning i was having a coffee with a client, she was in an office opposite, she walked out saw me,got in her car, went all the way round, packed next to where i was sitting, And went for a coffee next door. She never goes in there

 

Last friday i caught her driving past my house again and today I am receiving private calls again

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
paragraphs ~6
salparadise Established Member

salparadise

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Well, it seems pretty obvious to me that her interest in you was not platonic. She was/is in love with you... even if she isn't able to admit it to herself.

 

People aren't jealous when their friends find a new relationship- they wish them well, with all sincerity. There was a lot more going on in her head the was being spoken.

 

You've tried to have a conversation and she can't do it because that would require her put her cards on the table, and she can't even admit it to herself. I think you need to go no contact and let her come to you at some point when she's ready. Even then, there is no resolution. It is what it is.

 

You don't think she's dangerous do you? That's probably a silly question. She's obsessive and she's stalking you. Be careful.

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

Posted
Posted

You thought of her as a mentor and a mother, a sister. You cared for her deeply but on a detached good friend level. She OBVIOUSLY allowed herself to become emotionally attached to you, possibly fell in love with you. That's why she's acting all weird and wacky.

She seems TOO emotional and can't think straight and has shown you some unhealthy patterns.

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Smack2485 New Member

Smack2485

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So, you don't think she was/ is in the love with my partner?

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Smack2485 New Member

Smack2485

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To Whichwayisup, dangerous, i can honestly say no... but mad, possible lol. I just dont get the driving past my house, and if she was/ is "in love" with me, why the hell did she get married to the man she lives with???

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Smack2485 New Member

Smack2485

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I received replies from my last post stating that she could be in love with me, but how is that possible when she is living with a guy and claims she is married? Also, if she doesn't want to communicate with me, why doesn't she just leave me alone???? She is p.......ing me off.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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Posted

Is it at all possible that they exroommate of hers you are dating could have said something to her about you that really made her mad? Have you asked him about that?

 

Otherwise, she was not honest with you and did mind you getting together and didn't have the nerve to say otherwise. Maybe because she DID have a thing for the roommate but knew she couldn't tell you or you'd tell him -- or feared you would tell him.

 

Why she is stalking you is very curious. It makes no sense that she won't speak to you but is stalking you, but sounds like she doesn't like you anymore but wants to know what you're up to. Maybe she is hoping to find you cheating on this roommate so she can tell him and break you up.

 

At any rate, you need to block her every which way and if she does any threatening, let the police know.

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Smack2485 New Member

Smack2485

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Is it at all possible that they exroommate of hers you are dating could have said something to her about you that really made her mad? Have you asked him about that?

 

Otherwise, she was not honest with you and did mind you getting together and didn't have the nerve to say otherwise. Maybe because she DID have a thing for the roommate but knew she couldn't tell you or you'd tell him -- or feared you would tell him.

 

Why she is stalking you is very curious. It makes no sense that she won't speak to you but is stalking you, but sounds like she doesn't like you anymore but wants to know what you're up to. Maybe she is hoping to find you cheating on this roommate so she can tell him and break you up.

 

At any rate, you need to block her every which way and if she does any threatening, let the police know.

 

 

 

I asked him, and he never said anything detremental about me to her that would have made her angry. They were business partners for 10 years and no sign of anything between them atall. I have asked him many times, and he thinks she was/ is in love with me.... Because why all the attention/ stalking towards me??? She knows me very well, and knows that she would never catch me cheating as I am not like that.

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

Well, maybe she did have feelings for you then. Either way, her stalking is not a healthy situation and you should not willingly take part in letting that go on. Obviously, either way, she has trouble being direct about her feelings on anything. You can't be expected to know what she's thinking. You can't very well ask her if she has feelings at this point because of the business partner, so I think you just go on about your business and hope nothing escalates. Good luck.

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Smack2485 New Member

Smack2485

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Well, maybe she did have feelings for you then. Either way, her stalking is not a healthy situation and you should not willingly take part in letting that go on. Obviously, either way, she has trouble being direct about her feelings on anything. You can't be expected to know what she's thinking. You can't very well ask her if she has feelings at this point because of the business partner, so I think you just go on about your business and hope nothing escalates. Good luck.

 

 

How can I stop her from stalking me?

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