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ForeverAlone; The thought of being single for the rest of your life makes you feel?

barbossa

By barbossa
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Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

Posted
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If men didn't have sex drives, I doubt very many of them would bother with the frustration of dating.
as soon as any woman with some self esteem gets a glimmering of a notion that you are dating her because of YOUR SEX DRIVE, she will be gone. JSKY.

 

Everyone has their own reasons for wanting a relationship. I don't think one is any less valid than the other. That's what a relationship is about -- both people are getting something they want from the other person, whether it's men wanting sex, or women wanting security or good conversation.
Right, but any woman (with some self esteem) who figures out that you are offering security and / or "good conversation" in exchange for sex, she will be gone. Do you have any idea how high it is on a woman's radar when a guy is spending time with her primarily so he can get in her pants? Do you read the other threads on here??:confused::confused:

 

Anyway, it's not that one reason is more valid than another, it's that both people need to have compatible reasons. You'd need to find somebody who's primary motivation for being in a relationship with you was to get regular sex. If you are interested in the security and companionship of a relationship than a girl who values that highly might be a good fit.

 

Of course people need to be sexually compatible but that is something we find out later.

Notsosuperhero New Member

Notsosuperhero

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Sometimes I feel I'm doomed to be alone and at times it does get me down but other times I just say to myself that it is what it is. Sometimes I just give up hope and other times I look at myself for who I am and think that I can find someone. I guess all in all it just makes me feel very confused.

 

But we live in a world where it's much easier to connect with people through all the technology. So there's the good part.

hotpotato Established Member

hotpotato

Posted
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Look at older men who have lots and lots of money. They all have a young, beautiful women by their side. I'm not saying it's love, but the OP is talking about being single forever, getting old and being alone. If you have money you can buy companionship no matter how old and ugly you look. That was my point on that.

 

I dont know how well that translates to older women.

oberkeat Established Member

oberkeat

Posted
Posted (edited)
as soon as any woman with some self esteem gets a glimmering of a notion that you are dating her because of YOUR SEX DRIVE, she will be gone. JSKY.

 

any woman (with some self esteem) who figures out that you are offering security and / or "good conversation" in exchange for sex, she will be gone. Do you have any idea how high it is on a woman's radar when a guy is spending time with her primarily so he can get in her pants? Do you read the other threads on here??:confused::confused:

 

Young. Men. Want. Sex.

 

It’s not politically correct, and I wouldn’t go around broadcasting it. But if a woman thinks a guy is putting himself on the line, approaching her and risking rejection just for her ‘conversation’, or her ‘companionship’, lol, she’s fooling herself. :rolleyes:

 

There are two types of men: the ones who freely admit this to themselves, and the ones who don’t. Guess which type I am.

 

 

Anyway, it's not that one reason is more valid than another, it's that both people need to have compatible reasons. You'd need to find somebody who's primary motivation for being in a relationship with you was to get regular sex. If you are interested in the security and companionship of a relationship than a girl who values that highly might be a good fit.

 

Of course people need to be sexually compatible but that is something we find out later.

 

I don't think two people have to have the same motivation for dating each other. For example, every day, I see hideous guys dating sexy women. It’s because men and women want different things from each other. Generally, the men want an attractive girl for sex, while the women obviously don’t care much about looks, and want someone who makes them feel good and secure. What makes them compatible is that one person is meeting the other person’s needs, and it's basically always a transaction. It's not politically correct, but that's the way it is.

Edited by oberkeat
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TheBathWater Established Member

TheBathWater

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In all honesty do you think you will do better 10, 20 years from now? possible yes. realistic? you tell me.

 

It's hard to say. I'm 31 years old and live in the northeast. The dating pool of millenials is an interesting one and I'm not sure anyone really knows what they are doing. I would like to think that when I'm in the 35-40 age range, things will get better (i.e. more women will want commitment and stick around rather than just using me up for sex), but because this particular generation may lack certain foundations and values for dating that previous generations had, I'm not sure our story's ending will be the same. For some, yes. But I think there may be differences.

 

So, I'm not sure if I'll be doing better in the future. Will I have lots of women on my arm and in my bed? Yes. Will any of them stay? I hope so...

Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

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Young. Men. Want. Sex.

 

It’s not politically correct, and I wouldn’t go around broadcasting it. But if a woman thinks a guy is putting himself on the line, approaching her and risking rejection just for her ‘conversation’, or her ‘companionship’, lol, she’s fooling herself. :rolleyes:

 

Whatever. I have a fiance. He is having sex with me ALOT. He did not put himself out there for me because of HIS SEX DRIVE. He is hot, he can have sex with a variety of girls if he so desired, he is into ME. And believe me, I have gone out with some guys in my life who were all about THEIR SEX DRIVE and it didn't get very far.

 

Generally, the men want an attractive girl for sex, while the women obviously don’t care much about looks, and want someone who makes them feel good and secure.
:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

There are two types of men: the ones who freely admit this to themselves, and the ones who don’t. Guess which type I am.
The type who is not having sex with ANYBODY and won't look at what he might be doing to contribute to that state of affairs?? :confused::confused:
WaitingForBardot Established Member

WaitingForBardot

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...

 

The type who is not having sex with ANYBODY and won't look at what he might be doing to contribute to that state of affairs?? :confused::confused:

Cruel, but fair... ..lol..

Samhain Established Member

Samhain

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A persons dating prospects all depends on that persons very own attitude, if you believe you're destined to be alone for life then chances are you will be.

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SmartDude Established Member

SmartDude

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When I was in my youth I was horrified of being alone forever. It was quite awful actually, but that feeling went away.

 

Spent most of my 20's alone, with no significant relationships. I think that was the hardest period. Seeing others who were finding success in relationships and independence at a young age...was hard for me. I was very shy and lived an internal life.

 

In my 30's I had my most significant LTR that spanned most of that decade. We loved intensely but she was highly abusive and had a personality disorder(BPD). I wanted to wait for "the one" but got a hot in bed/psycho bitch instead. I wanted to escape that relationship for years, but was trapped. While in that relationship I would always fantasize about being single and having a nice quiet place next to the ocean, so that I could live in peace and just work on my songwriting.

 

Im 42 now and I have that nice little place next to the ocean. It is a dream come true! I would like to meet someone now and I am not willing to compromise on certain things, but at the same time I know how to live alone and it feels normal. Most women that I meet are too materialistic, shallow and unintelligent for me to tolerate for very long. I am reaching deeper into my soul and they are trying to upgrade to the next house!

 

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I feel a deep compassion for women around my age who wanted families and children and just didn't have them for one or another reason. I want to reach out and love them, but often they want too much too fast. I have always had a desire to NOT have children...and so here I am and there they are.

 

Had some fun while having a whole bunch of sex with 20 somethings while in my late 30's early 40's. Im done with that now.

 

I would like to have a partner, but only if they are compatible on a mental and emotional level. I have thought a great deal about the practical aspects of being in a LTR relationship lately. Most likely I would wake up in the morning and see this person every day. Do I really want another person occupying the same living space that I do on a daily basis? It is not such an easy question to answer.

  • Like 1
SwordofFlame Established Member

SwordofFlame

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Young. Men. Want. Sex.

 

It’s not politically correct, and I wouldn’t go around broadcasting it. But if a woman thinks a guy is putting himself on the line, approaching her and risking rejection just for her ‘conversation’, or her ‘companionship’, lol, she’s fooling herself. :rolleyes:

 

There are two types of men: the ones who freely admit this to themselves, and the ones who don’t. Guess which type I am.

 

 

 

 

I don't think two people have to have the same motivation for dating each other. For example, every day, I see hideous guys dating sexy women. It’s because men and women want different things from each other. Generally, the men want an attractive girl for sex, while the women obviously don’t care much about looks, and want someone who makes them feel good and secure. What makes them compatible is that one person is meeting the other person’s needs, and it's basically always a transaction. It's not politically correct, but that's the way it is.

 

I pretty much agree. As a young guy, there doesn't seem to be much else I could get out of having a girlfriend that I can't get from good friends. Except sex. Without sex, it just feels like you're just friends.

 

You may ask, why not hire prostitutes? Well among other reasons, I find most prostitutes repulsive and unattractive. :laugh:

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barbossa Established Member

barbossa

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It's a relief to hear from a guy like you on a thread like this!!

 

You guys I think some of your Internet activities aren't helping you any. The whole idea of "forever alones" is just an Internet phenomena probably Reddit. And OP your ideas about "market value" and aging women just go hand in hand with the whole dumb package. In case you are dissatisfied with your life and your state of mind about your future you can always ditch that whole thing and get a new outlook on life.

 

I am posing a question. But even in my life i notice I meet fewer women, I find it harder than before. Not just me but loads of other people. I still have chances and opportunities now but i know they will be less 10, 20 40 years from now.

Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

Posted
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I am posing a question. But even in my life i notice I meet fewer women, I find it harder than before. Not just me but loads of other people. I still have chances and opportunities now but i know they will be less 10, 20 40 years from now.

 

That's because you are pickier now. In your 20s any woman would do, but now that you're grown up and know what to look for, of course you will meet fewer women of interest. I'm surprised your oblivious to this...

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barbossa Established Member

barbossa

Posted
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That's because you are pickier now. In your 20s any woman would do, but now that you're grown up and know what to look for, of course you will meet fewer women of interest. I'm surprised your oblivious to this...

 

in my 20's i met girls constantly, so it was easier to be picky and have high standards especially on looks

 

Now? i think in 2015 i have met 3 girls? Oh there have been many 1 on 1 interactions at socials but nothing past that.

 

I thought with a house, career, above average height, charm, humor, decent looks, girls would swarm me..... ( enter tumbleweeds here). I agree I have it way better than a lot of other men. But certainly my eyes are open to the fact that, as i grow older although i will be better financially

 

I will just meet less and less women.

oberkeat Established Member

oberkeat

Posted
Posted (edited)
Whatever. I have a fiance. He is having sex with me ALOT. He did not put himself out there for me because of HIS SEX DRIVE. He is hot, he can have sex with a variety of girls if he so desired, he is into ME. And believe me, I have gone out with some guys in my life who were all about THEIR SEX DRIVE and it didn't get very far.

 

You really believe that? How long do you think he would stick around if you stopped having sex with him??

 

The type who is not having sex with ANYBODY and won't look at what he might be doing to contribute to that state of affairs?? :confused::confused:

 

I've already discussed why I don't have a gf in this thread. It's because there is a famine of single attractive women here. All the girls who are available are overweight and unattractive, and the ones who are fit and sexy already have boyfriends. Young attractive women are in high demand, and most of them are snatched up by other guys long before I get a chance. That's why I'm single. That's why I'm angry.

Edited by oberkeat
Redfisher Established Member

Redfisher

Posted
Posted
You really believe that? How long do you think he would stick around if you stopped having sex with him??

 

 

 

I've already discussed why I don't have a gf in this thread. It's because there is a famine of single attractive women here. All the girls who are available are overweight and unattractive, and the ones who are fit and sexy already have boyfriends. Young attractive women are in high demand, and most of them are snatched up by other guys long before I get a chance. That's why I'm single. That's why I'm angry.

 

Why not drop the bar a bit and work on the fit and sexy part..Some really great girls that with a bit of reassurance could end up hot.....

Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

Posted
Posted
You really believe that? How long do you think he would stick around if you stopped having sex with him??
You haven't had a sexual and loving relationship, so you can't understand what one would be like. I'm sorry. :(:(

 

 

I've already discussed why I don't have a gf in this thread. It's because there is a famine of single attractive women here. All the girls who are available are overweight and unattractive, and the ones who are fit and sexy already have boyfriends. Young attractive women are in high demand, and most of them are snatched up by other guys long before I get a chance. That's why I'm single.
No, that's not why you're single. "Other guys" are "snatching them up" instead of you ... because they are offering something that the girls want. All those attractive girls are either going to marry those guys - or become single again. And I bet they, like me and my friends, are not going to be interested in a guy who is enraged because he's not getting regular sex - from hot women. Your vibe is probably a huge turn off. Sorry, :( don't mean to be harsh, but in case you would like your sex/ love life to be different than it is you will need to make some changes in yourself ... or just go ahead and buy it. That seems to be a good option for guys who think that relationships are actually a give to get kind of deal. Much more reliable!! :)
  • Like 1
Poutrew Established Member

Poutrew

Posted
Posted

I've already discussed why I don't have a gf in this thread. It's because there is a famine of single attractive women here. All the girls who are available are overweight and unattractive, and the ones who are fit and sexy already have boyfriends. Young attractive women are in high demand, and most of them are snatched up by other guys long before I get a chance. That's why I'm single. That's why I'm angry.

 

 

Sounds to me like you're just being lazy. You are just waiting for that diamond to drop in your lap. It was Michelangelo, I think, who said that when he saw an uncut block of Marble, he waited to let the stone tell him what was trapped inside it, and his job was to just chip away the excess bits to free what was trapped inside it. If a girl is unattractive to you because she is overweight, then it is your job to provide her with enough love and support to help her free the hotty trapped inside. Now, the irony of this is that once you do it, you may find yourself wishing for the old version to come back. Ahh, life's a beach...:laugh:

  • Like 1
ZA Dater Established Member

ZA Dater

Posted
Posted
You really believe that? How long do you think he would stick around if you stopped having sex with him??

 

 

 

I've already discussed why I don't have a gf in this thread. It's because there is a famine of single attractive women here. All the girls who are available are overweight and unattractive, and the ones who are fit and sexy already have boyfriends. Young attractive women are in high demand, and most of them are snatched up by other guys long before I get a chance. That's why I'm single. That's why I'm angry.

 

I think the above is for the most part true, ignoring this is perhaps turning ones back on reality. It really is a game of "the best leave the shelf first" but having said that I guess one can do what I have resorted to doing, albeit with no success, finding the slightly oddball different females who perhaps aren't as marketable as some others, either because they are too intelligent for most guys, have different interests etc.

lollipopspot Established Member

lollipopspot

Posted
Posted
I've already discussed why I don't have a gf in this thread. It's because there is a famine of single attractive women here. All the girls who are available are overweight and unattractive, and the ones who are fit and sexy already have boyfriends. Young attractive women are in high demand, and most of them are snatched up by other guys long before I get a chance. That's why I'm single. That's why I'm angry.

 

Do you think if a desirable guy came into your area - could be desirable in many different ways - he would stay single? Or do you think that once one of those attractive women became available he'd "snatch her up?"

 

I understand where you're coming from. I like to blame sources outside of myself for most of my discomfort too. But reality is that that won't get you anywhere. Make yourself the kind of guy one of those women would want to leave their boyfriends for. Or be ready when she's tired of her boyfriend. Or move to where there are women you find attractive, if you think you're already plenty desirable.

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