do you think i should message her? would you?

[harley_davidson]

I began seeing this girl last summer and we hit it off right away. We were seeing each other for about 3 months. She always considered me as a friend but I thought she would like me more as time went on. She would ask me to give her a ride and I always gave her rides wherever she needed to go and I was always there for her. I liked her so much I even offered to take her to Vegas for her birthday. She accepted then later said she couldn't due to still being in University. Anyways, I invited her over to my place a couple of times while we were seeing each other and she always wanted to drink. I always made her dinner and drinks and we always had a good time. She would always have her phone with her and constantly be texting while with me but I pretended it didn't bother me. She would always talk about her ex for some reason and always wanted to drink. Regardless of this, I was still very interested in her. One time she came over she got very drunk (I told her not to, yet she didn't listen to me) and she told me to come to the bathroom and I found her sitting on the floor next to the toilet. She seemed out of it but then she said "I want to go to your bed" I left her there on my bed to rest she wanted to be alone. Shortly after, she tells me to come to my bedroom on the bed and tells me she is horny she takes her clothes off but tells me she doesn't want to do anything with me and that she doesn't know where she is. I did not take advantage of her. I told her she can rest with me and I will take good care of her. I laid on the bed and let her lay in my arms as I hugged her tightly. She then told me "I am really scared of you" and I told her "I will always protect you" she then said "I will be with you forever" and I was so happy. I took her home later that night and that was it, I messaged her the next day to see how she was doing. As time went on, she stopped talking to me as frequently. So I took action. I asked her out to dinner for my birthday, she rejected. I still didn't give up. A week after, I asked if I could drop her home from her work. She said "sure you can but I won't go out with you later, just a ride home" I was fine with that as I was genuinely interested in her and liked her. Sadly,this was the last time I ever saw her. I messaged her the day after to see what she was up to and I then said "So when are you going to be my girlfriend already?" Then, a fight broke out. I think her ex had her phone because the reply was "don't you ever talk to my girlfriend again, I will beat you up" I was so mad I fought back. That was the last time we spoke. I was heartbroken but I knew I should stay away so I don't get more hurt than I was. Two months later, she messages me out of nowhere on my facebook saying "hi babe, guess who this is? and tells me to text her" I was happy yet knew I would be hurt again. I decided to wait for 2 months to reply her back (as she took 2 months to talk to me again) I messaged her back giving her my number telling her to call me, and to let me know when she wants to come over. A week after, she texts me telling me she wants to come over. I told her I am at the gym because it was still morning time. I then text her again around 4/5 pm and say "you still want to come over?" she said "yes" and I replied "want me to come pick you up now?" I got no reply. So I tried adding her to facebook twice again. I sent out two or three requests. She declined my requests and texted me saying "Why are you trying to add me to facebook again?" Two months later, she randomly messages me asking how I am, etc. I replied her saying "how are you, what's up" just trying to having a normal conversation with her. I got no reply. It has been 5/6 months since then and she hasn't contacted me. I am heartbroken yet again. I still love her and have feelings for her. In a way, I know she does for me as well but I wonder why she won't try to reach out to me anymore. I know she is still single. I signed up to the same dating site she is using and she is still actively on there, every day, has beautiful pictures up. I am worried but don't want to contact her again I don't want her thinking I am stalking her and obsessed or something or scare her away. I don't know what to do. I miss her and I cannot get over her. I just wish she would message me again. What do you guys think about the whole situation?? Please help me out.

[Notsosuperhero]

Honestly sounds like she's just using you. It sucks but that's the way some girls are. I've been in that boat before. Ask yourself though what has she really done FOR you the real answer is probably nothing when you take off those blinders of love you'll see things more clearly. So don't talk to her, she'll get what she wants an emotional crutch and you'll just be strung along.

[kevin smithy]

Puppy love my friend.there nothing for you there . absoloutely nothing. be strong and move on. someone better will come and make you feel a million times better. dont put your heart in weak hands.

[kevin smithy]

And no. do not message her. No contact is what you need to carry out here.

[ExpatInItaly]

I think she missed her ex and used you for comfort to fill that void. She is playing games with you and she isn't worth the headache. Sorry, but it doesn't appear she ever had serious intentions with you. She liked that you were around as a back-up in case she needed it, but that's about it. Don't waste any more time pining after her.

[smackie9]

Dude you never invest unless they have sex with you period. You were her doormat/friend zoned/ her GF.

 

Sorry to say this but girls want a man to make a move to show they are sexually desired. You should have done that right at the beginning. If she got scared away then she didn't see you in a romantic way to begin with. You would have saved yourself months of heartache if you had just tried to sleep with her. If the hand goes up, you ditch her, not hang around being a &^%%.

[Karine26]

I agree with the poster above. You are being used to fill a void. I understand you still have feelings for her but you mean to tell me you haven't met anyone else worth your while in 5/6 months and you're on a dating site? How old are you two? Sounds like you may be addicted to the drama of the situation? She is feeding you breadcrumbs. I don't think you should take her reaching out to you to mean anything unless she follows through with actions.

 

You sound like a nice guy through your post. You should use the dating site more actively to meet other women not to continuously look at her profile. Good luck