tolve Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 Along the lines of 'he's just not that into you' what is more indicative of a guys interest? One who makes the big gestures but not the small ones, or one who makes the small gestures and not the big ones? Guy does not have a girlfriend. Big (or bigger)gestures made: whenever he comes to hometown to stay with family for 24 hours and has time to just meet one person it's her (even though all close school friends live there too), dropping everything accompany her on a trip, driving 100 km to pick woman up from a station, paying for most dinners, calls regularly, responds to girl when she calls or texts immediately, remembers birthdays and all important occasions, remembers important details Lack of small gestures: no body language (no accidental touching etc), will not initiate hello and goodbye hugs, walks quicker than the woman and ends up walking ahead a lot of the time, nothing romantic said or hinted at, short curt texts - no kisses, dinners and chats are about general things and not mentioning love lives, most importantly never made a physical move
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 Ok. What - or more importantly who - is your problem? in a nutshell? The big gestures will fade away and gradually cease the more involved you become. Because effort will not be so necessary once you're 'established'. The smaller gestures - if they're not happening now, they never will. He can't change who he is. That's the way he rolls. It's the smaller gestures that count, because they're ingrained, part of character and temperament. The Big Gestures are contrivances designed to woo. It's the mortar that keeps the bricks in place. Without the mortar, a house is just a pile of stones. 1
Author tolve Posted November 15, 2015 Author Posted November 15, 2015 I guess is the guy just a little awkward and panics and the immediacy of the situation hence the walking ahead and lack of body language when in the company of the girl. Or if he has no real romantic intent, just sees the girl as a friend.
Glitters Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 Consistency keeps a relationship moving forward. Its when people are in comfort zone and they take each other for granted, then even if one takes big or small gestures, they lose there meaning.
d0nnivain Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 To me, all of what you characterize as big gestures a). aren't so "big" and b). are things people do for platonic friends. All of the things you characterize as small gestures, especially the absence of physical interactions and no kissing indicate that the woman is merely a friend & there is no possibility of romance. I do not think that a guy who acts as described wants to date this woman but I do think her friendship is important to him.
Redfisher Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 Big ones at first are nice, But My girlfriend really likes the small ones now... Like I always remember all her small talk and I always bring it up later in the week, Really to me its so simple and feels so good to be nice and caring towards another...Blows my mind after dating almost 10 women this year and everyone of them tell me at the age of 35 to 40 they have never been treated this way? What kind of POS does not try and be everything to the person they claim to love...So sad.
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