I Had an Epiphany Tonight When I Went Out

November 15, 2015

Well, not exactly true. Bad personal hygiene is a massive turnoff for most women.

Yes, women generally like a guy who is at ease because it puts them at ease too. Some confidence is good but I personally dislike any sign of arrogance while some of my female friends like a guy who is slightly cocky, overly confident. So i think it varies from women to women.

***from your other thread, i got the impression that you have an underlying belief that you are not an all-American guy therefore undiserable for women. ***

And you posted a pic of two of your friends who you think are handsome all American. I didnt comment on that thread but i think they were average, not particularly handsome or all-American. So please dont believe for a second that your looks are an issue. Yes, you have a very ethnic look but as far as i know the US is a melting pot so unless you live in a very all-american town or something it shouldnt be an issue.
Im sorry to say this and it might hurt your feelings or you might disagree but i think the issue is that you kinda resent women while desiring them at the same time. What you said on your other thread makes it sound like you put women on pedestal a bit too much, you have these massivly false ideas and beliefs ( such as an average girl have guys hitting on her constantly or hundreds of guys messaging on okcupid) and you feel excluded.
I might be wrong here. But this is the impression i got

>>>^^From your other thread<<<

JGirl, this is the OP's FIRST thread......

November 15, 2015

correct way to approach: oozing confidence, not caring about outcome, letting woman work for your attention instead of forcing the interaction and being all over her like a puppy dog

FYI that's not how it works. MOST of the time ...Beautiful young woman in your age group do not and will not "work" for a man's attention ...and smart good looking men are cool and calm yet pursue beautiful young woman ...the puppy dog routine would be a total turn off to most beautiful young woman ...guys are "smart" because they know that.

Also ... Most woman in their 40s are not desperate and certainly not "easy"

Having said that, I think most men in their 20s would not have passed up sex with any mildly attractive woman who was ready, willing, and able. I have nephews in their 20s and they nor their friends pass up sex. They're horny as hell for one thing and the other is they want to gain experience ....but mostly just horny:)

If you want to become a "good speaker" as you say ...you have to practice that art and you passed up a golden opportunity with this woman to practice ...if the opportunity was, in fact, real. As I said ...most young guys don't pass up sex so I'm wondering what's up with that.

November 15, 2015

>>>^^From your other thread<<<

JGirl, this is the OP's FIRST thread......

Im pretty sure i commented on his other thread. Might have a new username ( the other one also had cosmic gate in it), but gotta be the same person.

Armenian heritage, works out a lot, cant get dates, has all other aspects of his life together.

November 15, 2015

Yeah, the bolded...indicates this is a troll post. Had to read it three times to see if the OP got the wording right.

I don't think a troll but one who is prone to overarching generalizations. The OP actually generalizes a lot and did so under another moniker ...CosmicGate7.

OP ...as I said above, I don't believe you would pass up sex with a decent looking woman. Are you saving yourself?

November 15, 2015

Im pretty sure i commented on his other thread. Might have a new username ( the other one also had cosmic gate in it), but gotta be the same person.
Armenian heritage, works out a lot, cant get dates, has all other aspects of his life together.

Fair enough ....perhaps the previous CosmicGate was banned...and thus he resurfaces with new username.

Edited November 15, 2015 by katiegrl

November 15, 2015

Well, not exactly true. Bad personal hygiene is a massive turnoff for most women.

Yes, women generally like a guy who is at ease because it puts them at ease too. Some confidence is good but I personally dislike any sign of arrogance while some of my female friends like a guy who is slightly cocky, overly confident. So i think it varies from women to women.

from your other thread, i got the impression that you have an underlying belief that you are not an all-American guy therefore undiserable for women. And you posted a pic of two of your friends who you think are handsome all American. I didnt comment on that thread but i think they were average, not particularly handsome or all-American. So please dont believe for a second that your looks are an issue. Yes, you have a very ethnic look but as far as i know the US is a melting pot so unless you live in a very all-american town or something it shouldnt be an issue.
Im sorry to say this and it might hurt your feelings or you might disagree but i think the issue is that you kinda resent women while desiring them at the same time. What you said on your other thread makes it sound like you put women on pedestal a bit too much, you have these massivly false ideas and beliefs ( such as an average girl have guys hitting on her constantly or hundreds of guys messaging on okcupid) and you feel excluded.
I might be wrong here. But this is the impression i got

My thoughts exactly. I felt the same about the friends and just didn't comment.

OP ... So you used to think your issue was your "ethnic look" because you said you were soooo confident and I understand you had an epiphany this time around ...just don't understand why you'd pass up an opportunity to work on the very thing you had an epiphany ...working on your "girl speak" ...why did you pass this up?

November 15, 2015

>>>^^From your other thread<<<

JGirl, this is the OP's FIRST thread......

Girl, no it is not. OP comes along with a different username each time, for some reason.

OP—I for one am GLAD that you are finally putting together various pieces of the puzzle. You're right—confidence is key.

November 15, 2015

Girl, no it is not. OP comes along with a different username each time, for some reason.

OP—I for one am GLAD that you are finally putting together various pieces of the puzzle. You're right—confidence is key.

Got that now tnx....

Don't get why he came back with different user, but whatevs....

My bad.

November 15, 2015

Got that now tnx....

Don't get why he came back with different user, but whatevs....

My bad.

He's an enigma wrapped in a riddle, cloaked in mystery.

Or maybe he just forgets his password each time?

November 15, 2015

He's an enigma wrapped in a riddle, cloaked in mystery.

Or maybe he just forgets his password each time?

Don't think so.

He remembers everything else.....

November 15, 2015

What I don't get is why he doesn't think we will remember the details. He tells them virtually the same as the thread unfolds.

Yes confidence is key. Hallelujah you figured that out. That said, OP you have more issues to work on than just that.

BTW, I usually hate to comment on the "age" or ethnicity stuff that people say but I do think it's highly ironic that he's claimed women of a certain age as not compelling like he's above it but then the reality is he's never had a gf around his age. Ok by his theory, they are desperate and throw-away people. And by the same theory, he's not in the league he thinks he is or should be at his age SINCE HE'S FAILED TO ATTRACT AN AGE-APPROPRIATE, good looking gf of his choosing. OP, can keep blaming ethnicity for his reason for not getting a cute, appropriate age gf but definitely not the only reason!!!! Maybe I live in very Armenian friendly city but it doesn't seem to stop the cute, personable and sane Armenian guys here from getting gfs. OP, needs to look deeper and take the chip off his shoulder. I don't think you need to date women you don't find attractive due to their age. But if you are not getting the ones you would want, you should ask yourself, what is it about YOU that prevents that??? It's not your ethnicity, trust. Try your personality. Obsessions. Tendency to brag, Things about you that point to self-centeredness, superiority complex, materialism, boorishness and dishonesty.

November 15, 2015

OP try hypnotism. It's simple, quick, and just might be the push you need to get over this hurdle.

November 15, 2015

FYI that's not how it works. MOST of the time ...Beautiful young woman in your age group do not and will not "work" for a man's attention ...and smart good looking men are cool and calm yet pursue beautiful young woman ...the puppy dog routine would be a total turn off to most beautiful young woman ...guys are "smart" because they know that.

Also ... Most woman in their 40s are not desperate and certainly not "easy"

Having said that, I think most men in their 20s would not have passed up sex with any mildly attractive woman who was ready, willing, and able. I have nephews in their 20s and they nor their friends pass up sex. They're horny as hell for one thing and the other is they want to gain experience ....but mostly just horny:)

If you want to become a "good speaker" as you say ...you have to practice that art and you passed up a golden opportunity with this woman to practice ...if the opportunity was, in fact, real. As I said ...most young guys don't pass up sex so I'm wondering what's up with that.

I'm not most men, sex doesn't mean much to me. I can control my urges even though I have the sex drive of a raging rhino

I'm just tired of settling for women I'm not attracted to. I'm at least a pretty decent looking guy and I'm in good shape. I deserve a decent looking woman my age with a nice figure.

November 15, 2015

OP ...as I said above, I don't believe you would pass up sex with a decent looking woman. Are you saving yourself?

Really?? Do you think every man is just an uncontrollable horn dog who can't resist sticking it in regardless of the woman's personal qualities? That's a pretty sad commentary on what you think of men.

She was 20 years older than him. He doesn't want to hook up with an older woman who he feels no emotional or psychic connection with, he wants a beautiful woman his age. That's not really so hard to understand. I wouldn't have done it either when I was 26, and I was plenty horny.

The massive hypocrisy of *some* of the women here is astounding. If the tables were turned, and it was a 26-year-old woman being hit on by a 45-year-old man who was telling her how hot and gorgeous she was, you wouldn't be encouraging her to hook up so she could gain from his "wisdom" and "experience." You'd be saying he's a dirty old man who needs to find someone his own age.

November 15, 2015

Well, not exactly true. Bad personal hygiene is a massive turnoff for most women.

Yes, women generally like a guy who is at ease because it puts them at ease too. Some confidence is good but I personally dislike any sign of arrogance while some of my female friends like a guy who is slightly cocky, overly confident. So i think it varies from women to women.

from your other thread, i got the impression that you have an underlying belief that you are not an all-American guy therefore undiserable for women. And you posted a pic of two of your friends who you think are handsome all American. I didnt comment on that thread but i think they were average, not particularly handsome or all-American. So please dont believe for a second that your looks are an issue. Yes, you have a very ethnic look but as far as i know the US is a melting pot so unless you live in a very all-american town or something it shouldnt be an issue.
Im sorry to say this and it might hurt your feelings or you might disagree but i think the issue is that you kinda resent women while desiring them at the same time. What you said on your other thread makes it sound like you put women on pedestal a bit too much, you have these massivly false ideas and beliefs ( such as an average girl have guys hitting on her constantly or hundreds of guys messaging on okcupid) and you feel excluded.
I might be wrong here. But this is the impression i got

I don't resent women. When I say that they have it incredibly easy in dating, I'm just being realistic. My sister growing up put in 1/10 the effort that I've put in dating for 100 times the success/results. That's just how the world is set up. Dating is just naturally set up to be 100 times easier for women

and her, I'm talking about women who are pretty attractive, in shape and fairly young. I'm sure there are overweight women/women in their 40s who don't find dating to be that easy but that's not the demographic I'm in so I can't compare myself to that. I can only compare myself to the female version of me.

and saying women get 100s of messages is resenting them? LOL I've seen several threads here with females saying that they just started online dating and they were completely overwhelmed with the massive horde of messages they get. That's why I am so hesitant to try online dating - real life dating is very difficult but online dating is almost like a caricature with how incredibly one sided it is

November 15, 2015

I'm not most men, sex doesn't mean much to me. I can control my urges even though I have the sex drive of a raging rhino

I've actually seen a raging rhino with a sex drive. Trust me, I've never yet met a man who can come close to it...

I'm just tired of settling for women I'm not attracted to. I'm at least a pretty decent looking guy and I'm in good shape. I deserve a decent looking woman my age with a nice figure.

And at my age, I deserve to have a life of leisure, working when it suits me, rather than as a slave at the mercy of commerce, looking forward to a healthy retirement, in my own house with my own garden, a fireplace and a canine companion.

I doubt I'll ever have it though.

We all think we deserve something, with a sense of entitlement, as if we're being cheated by something, or someone if we don't have it.

Whether we believe we 'deserve' something or not, sometimes, life just doesn't roll that way.

The best plan is that we take what we are given, and make the best of it, and rejoice we at least still have the ability to stand upright and see the sun rise.

Opportunity is often hard to recognise, when all we're looking for is that 'lucky break'.

November 15, 2015

What I don't get is why he doesn't think we will remember the details. He tells them virtually the same as the thread unfolds.

Yes confidence is key. Hallelujah you figured that out. That said, OP you have more issues to work on than just that.

BTW, I usually hate to comment on the "age" or ethnicity stuff that people say but I do think it's highly ironic that he's claimed women of a certain age as not compelling like he's above it but then the reality is he's never had a gf around his age. Ok by his theory, they are desperate and throw-away people. And by the same theory, he's not in the league he thinks he is or should be at his age SINCE HE'S FAILED TO ATTRACT AN AGE-APPROPRIATE, good looking gf of his choosing. OP, can keep blaming ethnicity for his reason for not getting a cute, appropriate age gf but definitely not the only reason!!!! Maybe I live in very Armenian friendly city but it doesn't seem to stop the cute, personable and sane Armenian guys here from getting gfs. OP, needs to look deeper and take the chip off his shoulder. I don't think you need to date women you don't find attractive due to their age. But if you are not getting the ones you would want, you should ask yourself, what is it about YOU that prevents that??? It's not your ethnicity, trust. Try your personality. Obsessions. Tendency to brag, Things about you that point to self-centeredness, superiority complex, materialism, boorishness and dishonesty.

I used to think that my ethnicity was a big part of what held me back but I've had too many white people recently give me fantastic feedback on how handsome/gorgeous they thought I was so I can't really say that's the issue. I'm sure there are plenty of white women who would never date a guy like me but that's probably not the majority.

November 15, 2015

Really?? Do you think every man is just an uncontrollable horn dog who can't resist sticking it in regardless of the woman's personal qualities? That's a pretty sad commentary on what you think of men.

She was 20 years older than him. He doesn't want to hook up with an older woman who he feels no emotional or psychic connection with, he wants a beautiful woman his age. That's not really so hard to understand. I wouldn't have done it either when I was 26, and I was plenty horny.

The massive hypocrisy of *some* of the women here is astounding. If the tables were turned, and it was a 26-year-old woman being hit on by a 45-year-old man who was telling her how hot and gorgeous she was, you wouldn't be encouraging her to hook up so she could gain from his "wisdom" and "experience." You'd be saying he's a dirty old man who needs to find someone his own age.

she was probably around 55, not even 45

if a 55 year old man was hitting on a cute 26 year old woman, this forum would be horrified

November 15, 2015

I'm not most men, sex doesn't mean much to me. I can control my urges even though I have the sex drive of a raging rhino

I'm just tired of settling for women I'm not attracted to. I'm at least a pretty decent looking guy and I'm in good shape. I deserve a decent looking woman my age with a nice figure.

By your own hypothesis, you don't deserve a decent looking woman your age with a nice figure. If the older women just have to settle for what they can get, and you are having to settle for only getting attention from only older women (who by your theory have fewer options), then you are not as deserving as you think you are.

Women your age don't feel like they need to date down to be with you and older women pick an easier target (ie you) knowing that even at 26 you have fewer options than other 26 year olds. Just sayn.

November 15, 2015

And at my age, I deserve to have a life of leisure, working when it suits me, rather than as a slave at the mercy of commerce, looking forward to a healthy retirement, in my own house with my own garden, a fireplace and a canine companion.

I doubt I'll ever have it though.

Well to be fair, that's kind of your fault. I'm personally going to retire at 45 because I've set myself up so well financially

We all think we deserve something, with a sense of entitlement, as if we're being cheated by something, or someone if we don't have it.

Whether we believe we 'deserve' something or not, sometimes, life just doesn't roll that way.
The best plan is that we take what we are given, and make the best of it, and rejoice we at least still have the ability to stand upright and see the sun rise.

Opportunity is often hard to recognise, when all we're looking for is that 'lucky break'.

That's no opportunity. Nothing valuable can come from it except for some meaningless sex with somebody I wasn't really attracted to

I should be dating somebody who looks like this - https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/12208716_969653689773498_6895092430477582846_n.jpg?oh=6cd59d607dd23739f865cce3f502d899&oe=56B56D75

November 15, 2015

I used to think that my ethnicity was a big part of what held me back but I've had too many white people recently give me fantastic feedback on how handsome/gorgeous they thought I was so I can't really say that's the issue. I'm sure there are plenty of white women who would never date a guy like me but that's probably not the majority.

Then why do you keep bringing it up on your various threads under different screen names???

Plus your writing style and connection style with the various posters is exactly the same. Just admit it's you. I wish I could remember one of your other 10 screen names.

November 15, 2015

By your own hypothesis, you don't deserve a decent looking woman your age with a nice figure. If the older women just have to settle for what they can get, and you are having to settle for only getting attention from only older women (who by your theory have fewer options), then you are not as deserving as you think you are.

Women your age don't feel like they need to date down to be with you and older women pick an easier target (ie you) knowing that even at 26 you have fewer options than other 26 year olds. Just sayn.

You guys aren't getting the point of the original post

If I had the impeccable confidence that I should have had all these years, I would have had a beautiful girlfriend by now. I see men all the time who are not as good as me in any of the significant areas with attractive girlfriends. Why? they believe they deserve it. I used to believe I didn't deserve it

Attitude determines your altitude

November 15, 2015

I'm enjoying this thread...Cheers.

November 15, 2015

I'm enjoying this thread...Cheers.

I aim to please

November 15, 2015

You guys aren't getting the point of the original post

If I had the impeccable confidence that I should have had all these years, I would have had a beautiful girlfriend by now. I see men all the time who are not as good as me in any of the significant areas with attractive girlfriends. Why? they believe they deserve it. I used to believe I didn't deserve it

Attitude determines your altitude

LMAO, that is priceless. I get the point. I preach confidence all the time on this site. I agree with you on that. I almost liked your first post and then I realized it was......you. And sure enough the dialogue you usually spout started to come out and it was confirmed. You are underestimating other guys because you are only valuing a few areas of life (primarily materialism and earning capability, which I'm guessing is over-exaggerated anyway) AND you are over-estimating yourself. Your results with dating speak for themselves.

If you can adjust your attitude, add your newfound confidence and a big dose of humbleness and some empathy, take the chip off your shoulder and check back with us in a few weeks. I'll even help you think of a new screen name. SMH

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