I Had an Epiphany Tonight When I Went Out

November 15, 2015

I was hanging out with my friend and this much older woman (but still pretty attractive) woman approached our group. I started talking to her and she just fell in love with me. She kept talking about how beautiful and gorgeous I was, about how sweet I was, etc... I probably could have taken her home but she was a little bit too old for my taste (had to be maybe 45, I'm 26). What was different in this interaction vs my other interactions with women is that I just felt fantastic inside so my confidence was impeccable.

I realized that what's been crushing me all these years has been my lack of confidence. I used to think that my looks, money, character, etc... would automatically afford me a great girlfriend but the honest reality of the situation is that women would rather date a short, fat, poor guy with bad hygiene who is a good speaker than a gorgeous, athletic, rich male who is a poor speaker.

I know this is going to sound like common sense but I've just never had it laid out so clearly right in front of me. I know what I have to do now in order to have the same impeccable confidence with all women that I had with her but I also have to overcome many of my emotional walls. I've never had a girlfriend so I'm equal parts terrified of rejection/failure/being judged and actually being successful and escaping my mental prison. I've convinced myself so much in the past that I will be alone forever and that I don't deserve a relationship with a girl I'm attracted to that it's become ingrained in me. Now that I can finally see that there is a light past it, I need to find a way to overcome it. I have everything it takes to be able to get a beautiful girlfriend and that's what should be happening.

November 15, 2015

For all your new-born bravado and confidence let me tell you, as an older woman - you passed up an amazing opportunity there.

If you let something like age get in your way, then you will have much less success that you ever thought.

November 15, 2015

For all your new-born bravado and confidence let me tell you, as an older woman - you passed up an amazing opportunity there.
If you let something like age get in your way, then you will have much less success that you ever thought.

she was like 50-55, no thanks

I've been with a few older women - only one was really a pleasant experience. I had sex a few times with a 45 year old but she looked younger than that and had a phenomenal body. I'm done with the cougar thing though. I should be dating a beautiful woman my age

November 15, 2015

she was like 50-55, no thanks

I've been with a few older women - only one was really a pleasant experience. I had sex a few times with a 45 year old but she looked younger than that and had a phenomenal body. I'm done with the cougar thing though. I should be dating a beautiful woman my age

I'm about that age... and as I said, it would have been a great opportunity to learn the subtle art of attraction. It would have been so much more revealing than just 'sexual'...

She obviously saw much in you that she wouldn't have minded sampling.

How many women of your age-group do you honestly know who would make that kind of approach?

But hey - if you want to narrow your field down, that's your choice.... Best of luck then...

November 15, 2015

I'm about that age... and as I said, it would have been a great opportunity to learn the subtle art of attraction. It would have been so much more revealing than just 'sexual'...
She obviously saw much in you that she wouldn't have minded sampling.

How many women of your age-group do you honestly know who would make that kind of approach?

But hey - if you want to narrow your field down, that's your choice.... Best of luck then...

What would it have really taught me for going after what I really want? Women in their 40s and 50s are pretty easy (or they usually are easy for me) because they're not really in the desired category anymore. I'm not saying that there are no attractive women in that age range but the prime beauty age for both men and women is about 25-30.

Attractive women my age have a million options and going after them is a totally different (and much more difficult) ballgame. That's what I need to learn. Sex by itself doesn't mean much to me

November 15, 2015

What would it have really taught me for going after what I really want? Women in their 40s and 50s are pretty easy (or they usually are easy for me) because they're not really in the desired category anymore.

She can tell you what really turns a woman on, what a woman really ultimately wants and how to get the right woman, sooner, without doing so much dating and searching. An older woman awakens YOUR potential. An older woman has - in truth, - often 'been there' done that' and met plenty of saps, losers and triers.

An older woman can show you success.

I'm not saying that there are no attractive women in that age range but the prime beauty age for both men and women is about 25-30.

Look at all the 40 - 59 year-old women you don't find attractive.

That will be your woman, in a few years' time.

Looks fade, personality, confidence, know-how, experience and skills just get better.

Beauty is skin-deep. There's good reason to remember that adage.

it's because it happens to be accurate.

Attractive women my age have a million options and going after them is a totally different (and much more difficult) ballgame. That's what I need to learn. Sex by itself doesn't mean much to me

And with whom do you suppose it's best to learn those things?

Who on earth is better qualified to teach you what you want to learn?

Isn't that why younger women are so challenging?

Because frankly, at that age, even THEY don't know what they want?

November 15, 2015

She can tell you what really turns a woman on, what a woman really ultimately wants and how to get the right woman, sooner, without doing so much dating and searching. An older woman awakens YOUR potential. An older woman has - in truth, - often 'been there' done that' and met plenty of saps, losers and triers.

An older woman can show you success.

-I've had limited sexual experience in my life but every woman I've kissed said I was an absolutely amazing kisser. I've been told I have "very pretty/kissable lips", whatever the hell that means.

-The 4 or 5 women I've had sex with all said I was incredible in bed without me asking for feedback (I lasted about 45 minutes the second time I ever had sex). Keep in mind I wasn't particularly attracted to any of these women. If I ever have sex with a cute and fit girl my age, I will absolutely tear the sheets apart and make her orgasm about 9 times. I know I sound cocky here but there's certain things I'm naturally very good at and sex is one of them.

My point here is that my problem has nothing to do with any of that. It's about finding an attractive woman my age who wants to go out with me. I don't understand how having sex with more of the cougar crowd will help me with that (keep in mind all the women I've had sex with have been 29-45, none of them were attractive me and I'm so far over that).

You're basically saying that hunting down a tiger is going to teach me skills for how to fish the hardest damn fish to find in the sea. It's a completely different ballgame

November 15, 2015

Like I said, play it the way you want.

Good luck.

November 15, 2015

I realized that what's been crushing me all these years has been my lack of confidence. I used to think that my looks, money, character, etc... would automatically afford me a great girlfriend but the honest reality of the situation is that women would rather date a short, fat, poor guy with bad hygiene who is a good speaker than a gorgeous, athletic, rich male who is a poor speaker.

Seriously, the number one thing that would make any decent woman revolted is bad hygiene. If that's one of your problems you can do something about it, do it! I have turned down dates from otherwise good-looking men with good prospects, because they've had disgusting yellow teeth, or because I've got a whiff of b.o from them, or their clothes are dirty or they have dandruff. Looks are not so important, if you're clean, smell nice, well dressed and can speak well then you've got a chance.

But you also understand the irony of what you're saying. You're saying you want a beautiful girlfriend who will overlook things, but you're not willing to overlook the same things in a woman. All relationships are about compromise.

November 15, 2015

Seriously, the number one thing that would make any decent woman revolted is bad hygiene. If that's one of your problems you can do something about it, do it! I have turned down dates from otherwise good-looking men with good prospects, because they've had disgusting yellow teeth, or because I've got a whiff of b.o from them, or their clothes are dirty or they have dandruff. Looks are not so important, if you're clean, smell nice, well dressed and can speak well then you've got a chance.

But you also understand the irony of what you're saying. You're saying you want a beautiful girlfriend who will overlook things, but you're not willing to overlook the same things in a woman. All relationships are about compromise.

huh? I have absolutely impeccable hygiene, perfect white teeth, use a cologne that I get a million compliments for, dress like I'm shooting for a GQ cover shoot, etc...

My point is that women would rather go for a guy who is a horrible package but is a good speaker than a guy who is a magnificent package but is a little shy or nervous when he speaks.

November 15, 2015

huh? I have absolutely impeccable hygiene, perfect white teeth, use a cologne that I get a million compliments for, dress like I'm shooting for a GQ cover shoot, etc...

My point is that women would rather go for a guy who is a horrible package but is a good speaker than a guy who is a magnificent package but is a little shy or nervous when he speaks.

Wrong. 1st impressions count.

You never get a second chance to make that 1st impression.

didn't that woman tell you how beautiful and gorgeous you were?

November 15, 2015

Wrong. 1st impressions count.
You never get a second chance to make that 1st impression.

didn't that woman tell you how beautiful and gorgeous you were?

then explain to me how the f*ck I can be 26 years old and never had a girlfriend? I literally get 50 compliments a month now that range from "wow you're beautiful/gorgeous" to "wow you're huge (talking about my physique) to "wow your new shirt looks great" to "you're so sweet". I'm in the top 2% financially at the age of 26 (top 2% nationally, top 0.3% my age range). I'm set up so well financially that I will probably retire by 45. I have an exciting and fun lifestyle. I'm extremely easy to get along with and very loyal and caring towards my loved ones.

I've met guys who were like I described - chubby, bad hygiene, etc... who have had 10 times more dating success than i've had.

November 15, 2015

huh? I have absolutely impeccable hygiene, perfect white teeth, use a cologne that I get a million compliments for, dress like I'm shooting for a GQ cover shoot, etc...

My point is that women would rather go for a guy who is a horrible package but is a good speaker than a guy who is a magnificent package but is a little shy or nervous when he speaks.

Oh right, apologies. No, I would say that being a good, confident speaker is key (well to me anyway). I've definitely been far more attracted to guys who aren't conventionally good looking but ooze confidence and have an amazing way of speaking rather than a good looking man who is a little quiet and lacks confidence. But the good news is confidence and being a good speaker can totally be learnt! Sounds like you've got the full package if you just work on that!

November 15, 2015

Women would rather date a short, fat, poor guy with bad hygiene who is a good speaker than a gorgeous, athletic, rich male who is a poor speaker? No way..I would never date a short fat poor guy..I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life

If you really are a magnificent package there is no way you can't find a woman..no way..who doesn't want to date a guy who looks like GQ model? ! Even better if he's a little shy/nervous!

Only off-putting thing is if he's dumb or arrogant. but shyness is not a problem

November 15, 2015

Women would rather date a short, fat, poor guy with bad hygiene who is a good speaker than a gorgeous, athletic, rich male who is a poor speaker? No way..I would never date a short fat poor guy..I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life

If you really are a magnificent package there is no way you can't find a woman..no way..who doesn't want to date a guy who looks like GQ model? ! Even better if he's a little shy/nervous!

Only off-putting thing is if he's dumb or arrogant. but shyness is not a problem

I don't look like a GQ model. GQ models are like a 10/10 - top 0.00001% elite. I said I always dress that sharp

I would rate myself maybe a 7 - 8/10. The biggest thing that hurts me is my ethnicity - I'm Armenian. I don't think I've ever met an Armenian guy better looking than myself but my ethnic features will be a turn off to some white women - although people say I look more Italian/Greek/Spanish.

November 15, 2015

I think you missed the real lesson here. You were not a more confident person, you are still you. Difference is that this older woman was able to make you believe you were confident. She even made you believe you could have taken her home. That's her doing. The lady of the house with social skills can make every one of her guests feel special. And she'll do it so naturally, you believe the next party at a different house will be just as good.

imo, what you should have learned is that when you meet a young woman, if she is right for you, she will make you feel good about yourself, and she'll make it easy for you.

November 15, 2015

I think you missed the real lesson here. You were not a more confident person, you are still you. Difference is that this older woman was able to make you believe you were confident. She even made you believe you could have taken her home. That's her doing. The lady of the house with social skills can make every one of her guests feel special. And she'll do it so naturally, you believe the next party at a different house will be just as good.
imo, what you should have learned is that when you meet a young woman, if she is right for you, she will make you feel good about yourself, and she'll make it easy for you.

young women don't work that way. Generally speaking, the male has to do absolutely everything as she's being courted by 5320582058205820822 different men

Anyways, I agree in some ways but disagree with other ways with what you're saying. Yes you can feel more comfortable around certain people but you can ooze confidence and charisma around everybody with a strongly trained mind.

November 15, 2015

I don't look like a GQ model. GQ models are like a 10/10 - top 0.00001% elite. I said I always dress that sharp

I would rate myself maybe a 7 - 8/10. The biggest thing that hurts me is my ethnicity - I'm Armenian. I don't think I've ever met an Armenian guy better looking than myself but my ethnic features will be a turn off to some white women - although people say I look more Italian/Greek/Spanish.

8 is very high. GQ models aren't much better than this. And I have a friend who loves Armenian guys..almost everyone of them lol

well, do you approach women? If no, start it. Im sure you will find someone very soon

November 15, 2015

8 is very high. GQ models aren't much better than this. And I have a friend who loves Armenian guys..almost everyone of them lol

well, do you approach women? If no, start it. Im sure you will find someone very soon

I'm talking about an 8 as in comparison to the rest of human society

You seem to be judging on a male model curve where a male who would be in the top 0.001% is a 8.5/10 and the guy who is top 0.000001% would be a 9.5/10. I'm not judging myself on that curve

and no I don't approach enough. I don't approach the women that I'm really attracted to and I haven't approached the correct way up to this point

November 15, 2015

Well, you are who you are. And from your stated age bracket of young women, you are an adult so you are not still growing up and finding who you are. You already know who you are, and who you're not.

And I do know how young women are, first hand experience here. You don't need many women, right? Just one. When you find the right person, everything is easier.

November 15, 2015

I'm talking about an 8 as in comparison to the rest of human society

You seem to be judging on a male model curve where a male who would be in the top 0.001% is a 8.5/10 and the guy who is top 0.000001% would be a 9.5/10. I'm not judging myself on that curve

and no I don't approach enough. I don't approach the women that I'm really attracted to and I haven't approached the correct way up to this point

Huh? I'm judging based the whole human world doesnt matter what they do/who they are. 10 is perfect which no one is. and 8/9 is close to perfect which are GQ models.

And what do you mean "a correct way to approach"? Just say Hi simple as that. It's not rocket science.

November 15, 2015

Well, you are who you are. And from your stated age bracket of young women, you are an adult so you are not still growing up and finding who you are. You already know who you are, and who you're not.
And I do know how young women are, first hand experience here. You don't need many women, right? Just one. When you find the right person, everything is easier.

just between me and you, I don't believe in soulmate nonsense. I believe that I've failed with a 100 random selection of attractive women my age, I will fail with all 100 million of them in the world

and again, I do believe but certain people can feel very comfortable around certain other people but young decent looking women do not operate in this manner. Everything is about them - the male has to do every part of the process until the relationship is established.

November 15, 2015

Huh? I'm judging based the whole human world doesnt matter what they do/who they are. 10 is perfect which no one is. and 8/9 is close to perfect which are GQ models.

And what do you mean "a correct way to approach"? Just say Hi simple as that. It's not rocket science.

correct way to approach: oozing confidence, not caring about outcome, letting woman work for your attention instead of forcing the interaction and being all over her like a puppy dog

November 15, 2015

I realized that what's been crushing me all these years has been my lack of confidence. I used to think that my looks, money, character, etc... would automatically afford me a great girlfriend but the honest reality of the situation is that women would rather date a short, fat, poor guy with bad hygiene who is a good speaker than a gorgeous, athletic, rich male who is a poor speaker.

Yeah, the bolded...indicates this is a troll post. Had to read it three times to see if the OP got the wording right.

November 15, 2015

reality of the situation is that women would rather date a short, fat, poor guy with bad hygiene who is a good speaker than a gorgeous, athletic, rich male who is a poor speaker.
.

Well, not exactly true. Bad personal hygiene is a massive turnoff for most women.

Yes, women generally like a guy who is at ease because it puts them at ease too. Some confidence is good but I personally dislike any sign of arrogance while some of my female friends like a guy who is slightly cocky, overly confident. So i think it varies from women to women.

from your other thread, i got the impression that you have an underlying belief that you are not an all-American guy therefore undiserable for women. And you posted a pic of two of your friends who you think are handsome all American. I didnt comment on that thread but i think they were average, not particularly handsome or all-American. So please dont believe for a second that your looks are an issue. Yes, you have a very ethnic look but as far as i know the US is a melting pot so unless you live in a very all-american town or something it shouldnt be an issue.

Im sorry to say this and it might hurt your feelings or you might disagree but i think the issue is that you kinda resent women while desiring them at the same time. What you said on your other thread makes it sound like you put women on pedestal a bit too much, you have these massivly false ideas and beliefs ( such as an average girl have guys hitting on her constantly or hundreds of guys messaging on okcupid) and you feel excluded.

I might be wrong here. But this is the impression i got

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