Tonic Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 Not really sure where to start with this one honestly. Im a 20 year old male, pretty shy, don't really enjoy going out that much. About a year and a half ago was the end of my 4 year relationship and my job. After that I lost pretty much any self confidence I had. I had no misses, no job, no licence and I started stacking on the weight. Ended up in a really bad way and only recently decided I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself. I managed to get my licence and a job, and am now under 100kg again. I really thought when I had a job and car I'd start feeling better about myself but I don't. I would love to be able to go out with my friends and meet some new friends and some women. But I don't know how to when I feel the way I do. Anyone have some advice on how I can boost my confidence up again?
basil67 Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 Good on you for getting your life back in order. So have you actually been out with friends since you got it all together again? If so, did you have fun or could you not wait to come home? Or have you not actually had the confidence to go out at all?
Versacehottie Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 Well you get confidence BY doing things and exposing yourself to life. Sure, read some helpful books, do some internal work to bolster your confidence and self-esteem, get some coping strategies and ideas. Start small, recognize the victories-no matter how small, learn from the "failures" (things that don't go the way you'd hope or expected) and adjust. Then repeat. You want to stack the deck in your favor, of course. But the real secret is: just doing it. Good luck
Author Tonic Posted November 15, 2015 Author Posted November 15, 2015 I haven't been out at all. Some times I am legitamently to tired because my work is really physical and I do crazy hours, but half the time I just don't feel like going out. I know thats not a good way to be, almost "anti-social" and I'd love to be able to break that mind set and meet some people, maybe even a nice girl.
SethDamien Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 You're very strong, and still very young to feel that way. I broke up with my ex of two years when i was 20, and broken up with another girl whom i was with for 4 years. Now im 24. And while im here still picking up the pieces, I admire you for finally finding the light. Hang on, if you're not into socializing, (which i know you eventually will) Put all that energy into being the best at your work... Pour all that anger into what you do and success will follow. Jobs will find you and better women will come your way. i guarantee it.
Sawman1586 Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 Well, my friend. Life is hard. There is no shortage of things to knock you down to the ground. As for me, my thoughts are that you got to learn to love yourself. You have to find ways to improve on what you have. Strive for your own personal best and learn to be happy with who you are. There is always room for improvement. If there is something about yourself you are not pleased with, change it. Just remember you are working to change for yourself. Happiness is a state of mind, so is confidence.
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