stefii41 Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 I met a guy about 4 months ago and he turned out to be really great and amazing.... he treats me like a lady which noone ever has before.. hes funny and even though hes older than me he acts like a kid around me and its a very fun relationship, I love spending time with him and we can literally talk for hours. So we became boyfriend and girlfriend after only 1 month dating and things got a little serious very soon. Our 3 months officially together were great but I was not sure if I liked him enough to keep going... I feel like he likes me more than I like him.. and that one day he is going to say i love you and I wont say it back... and that eventually I will break up with him and i dont want to hurt him worse later on... SO i told him we should break up... We didnt talk for about two days and I missed him alot! then he called me to talk and he said... that its ok and normal that I didnt really know how much i really liked him... weve only known each other for about 4 months and it takes longer to know what this is... but that as long as we are making each other happy... we have a good time and have fun together.. not to overthink about the future... and that he himself is also unsure... that he really likes me and I make him happy.. so just like its too early to tell if this is "love" it is also early to tell if not gonna work.... I am kind of confused.... advice is appreciated. thanks!
FeelingFireworks Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 Am I having Deja Vu? Yeah. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/557531-should-i-keep-dating-him-i-am-not-sure
Ic1 Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 If you're both ok with keeping it a casual relationship where love isn't assumed or expected; great. You just have to be ok with that because you aren't comfortable with a serious relationship, and he has to understand it's only that because he brought up love. I think he understands this with the call he gave you, and I hope you at least have a friend however this plays out because you two enjoy your company.
Author stefii41 Posted November 14, 2015 Author Posted November 14, 2015 Am I having Deja Vu? Hey Sorry, the system told me they had flagged that post because they thought my acct was hacked so I created a new one. 1
Author stefii41 Posted November 16, 2015 Author Posted November 16, 2015 You might be right.... but I am still confused about the whole situation. He says that as long as we are happy together and that we are having a good time.... sex is good etc... is all good then why stop something good that makes us both happy?? and that makes sense... but I am not sure if I should keep going? I havent talked to him in 2 days and I miss him...
smackie9 Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Why are you so unsure? You have relationship anxiety because of somehting that happened in the past? Is it his age? This is what dating is all about....see if you are compatible physically and emotionally for something long term. Things not working out is just part of the dating process so why sweat it. Plus being exclusive just means he wants to make it clear that you both are not dating other people that is all. 1
Glitters Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 You sound scared of your feelings for him. Sometimes they can be overwhelming if you are caught unawares. I would advice to let it come naturally. You both could be onto something great . 1
Author stefii41 Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 Its not his age... he its only a 5 year difference... I am not sure about what it is... he really tries to change my mind and to tell me that it is too soon for me to be thinking about things like this... and if i am happy then why overthink the future???
Lansing Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Do you find you are like this in other relationships too? Liking someone and then having them interested in you and you backing off? Sounds like anxiety as someone else stated but only you know what your pattern is like in general. If you enjoy your time with him I wouldn't be so worried and just date him and not worry about him saying "I love you" before you are ready.
Leigh 87 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Sounds like she just wasn't sure if she was into him enough after three months in. That's a bad sign. After three months you should be head over heels smitten and in love by now. Not doubting whether or not you even like him enough to continue I would never date a guy I was unsure about after 3 months. Because I know for a fact that I have been totally head over heels for other guys within three months.......... so I'd never settle for a man I felt less into than men of my past.
ravfour4 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Feeling head over heels isn't inherently good or necessary. Obviously it's not working well if you haven't found someone to be with yet. I agree that you should be sure after 3 months, but not head over heels smitten.
Leigh 87 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Feeling head over heels isn't inherently good or necessary. Obviously it's not working well if you haven't found someone to be with yet. I agree that you should be sure after 3 months, but not head over heels smitten. It depends. Some people enjoy romance much more if they hold out for someone that they're head over heels about. I personally thrive and enjoy my dating life wheb I hold out for someone I fall hard and fast for as opposed to the slow burn without the initial spark. It works better for me this way; I am currently in a happy relationship. He's totally sure about me and head over heels as an I for him. It's been 3 months.The best relationships I've witnessed are between people like my bf andI; totally into each other and sure about moving forward by the 3 month stage. Anything less than being totally smitten and enamoured by someone at the 3 months stage is a lesser relationship. ..... one where the feelings are so lukewarm that they need to grow veryyyyyyyyy slowly.
Author stefii41 Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 Thank you for all of your responses and I am really taking all this into consideration.... we only knew each other for 1 month before really dating so weve only KNOWN each other for a total of about 4 months.... I am not sure if that is enough to be totally head over heels... however I do enjoy spending time with him.. we can talk for hours on end on the phone or hang out in person... the sex is really great and he is very supportive and sweet and caring... Someone told me today if it may be that I am just afraid of being happy??? does that exist?
Leigh 87 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Thank you for all of your responses and I am really taking all this into consideration.... we only knew each other for 1 month before really dating so weve only KNOWN each other for a total of about 4 months.... I am not sure if that is enough to be totally head over heels... however I do enjoy spending time with him.. we can talk for hours on end on the phone or hang out in person... the sex is really great and he is very supportive and sweet and caring... Someone told me today if it may be that I am just afraid of being happy??? does that exist? Many people fall head over heels in much less than four months. You seem ho hum. You enjoy his company the way you would a friend and you have attraction towards him yet you're clearly not sure if you're into him enough to progress into a relationship. Many people are in love by 4 months.
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