idontknow77 Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 (edited) So regarding my last post that I put up here: Me and my girlfriend I guess if you want to call her that, we've been trying to talk things out. She says she's under a lot of stress with school, our relationship problems, her family not being here and I don't know what to do. As of right now she says we're not together but we're still living together. I wanted to leave but I couldn't and I asked her if there's any chance of us getting back together, I told her I feel like there is in she said I never say there isn't a chance. Right now I don't know what to say to her what to do. It all started when we had some friends over and she wanted to play cards I wasn't in a mood to play cards so she asked me if I was ok. I said yeah I'm fine and she's one of those people that will keep asking you and asking you after you told her you're fine the first time. She tried to secretly text me but I ignored her because I don't like when people do that after I told her I was fine and then I fell asleep on the couch while she slept in the room. She said ever since then she felt like we were already broken up, I apologized to her and told her all my regrets but she says is this just adds on to everything with school and her family in not being able to do good in school I want to support her and I do support her in anything she does. I don't know what to do anymore, in 2 weeks it's going to be our anniversary but I keep thinking if it's even worth staying or not. Every time I ask her she said she doesn't know so if anybody can help me out tell me what I can say to her, what do you think I should do that would be awesome. Edited November 14, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs ~T
Ic1 Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 (edited) I'm sure there's many details to the story we can't know solely from reading the thread, but I'd say it's been long over and with no chance of restarting for awhile! Let's look at this from the perspective of actions: -She made excuses of stress to break up with you. Breaking up with someone you live with to reduce stress is irrational to me! But I don't know what issues there were. -She keeps asking you "are you ok" in front of friends. Trying to imply to friends something is wrong with you? Rude. -She tells you she expects you to apologize to her? Or you apologize to her, but she does nothing in response? I doubt this is all your fault. Her stress is stressing you. Has she ever recognized this and shown a care of your stress in the situation? -She can't give a direct answer to where things are at. She doesn't have the confidence to recognize the issue, or perhaps the confidence to officially break up with you and call it an end. This is common unfortunately. Edited November 14, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Author idontknow77 Posted November 14, 2015 Author Posted November 14, 2015 (edited) I'm sure there's many details to the story we can't know solely from reading the thread, but I'd say it's been long over and with no chance of restarting for awhile! Let's look at this from the perspective of actions: -She made excuses of stress to break up with you. Breaking up with someone you live with to reduce stress is irrational to me! But I don't know what issues there were. -She keeps asking you "are you ok" in front of friends. Trying to imply to friends something is wrong with you? Rude. -She tells you she expects you to apologize to her? Or you apologize to her, but she does nothing in response? I doubt this is all your fault. Her stress is stressing you. Has she ever recognized this and shown a care of your stress in the situation? -She can't give a direct answer to where things are at. She doesn't have the confidence to recognize the issue, or perhaps the confidence to officially break up with you and call it an end. This is common unfortunately. She didnt use stress as an excuse in a way she did but in a way she didn't. she would tell me that the school is stressing her out and she said I wasn't there to support her to make her happy or not to make her think of it which I did like normal boyfriend would do and that's tell her you're going to be fine, you're going to be ok, I know you can do this. things like that but she says that isn't what you wanted to hear and I don't know what to say to her and like I said at the end of the post right now she's confused with not just our relationship but with her life and everything else Edited November 14, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator misspell
Ic1 Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 (edited) She didnt use stress as an excuse in a way she did but in a way she didn't. she would tell me that the school is stressing her out and she said I wasn't there to support her to make her happy or not to make her think of it which I did like normal boyfriend would do and that's tell her you're going to be fine, you're going to be ok, I know you can do this. things like that but she says that isn't what you wanted to hear and I don't know what to say to her and like I said at the end of the post right now she's confused with not just our relationship but with her life and everything else But you're making this more complicated than it is. Keep it to her ultimate choice of actions where it's truth has a one sentence answer: Did she bring her stress into the relationship as somehow your fault? a. Yes b. No I think she's trying to get you to break up with her so she can say she didn't end it. She doesn't have the balls to do it herself. Another way to put it: She's made her decision to end it, but she's being complicated on how. Edited November 14, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
ExpatInItaly Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 It would help to use some "quotes" and other grammatical symbols for understanding. But you're making this more complicated than it is. Keep it to her ultimate choice of actions where it's truth has a one sentence answer: Did she bring her stress into the relationship as somehow your fault? a. Yes b. No I think she's trying to get you to break up with her so she can say she didn't end it. She doesn't have the balls to do it herself. Another way to put it: She's made her decision to end it, but she's being complicated on how. I have to agree with this. Sorry, OP. It doesn't look good. I would start looking into other living arrangements now.
Author idontknow77 Posted November 14, 2015 Author Posted November 14, 2015 (edited) But you're making this more complicated than it is. Keep it to her ultimate choice of actions where it's truth has a one sentence answer: Did she bring her stress into the relationship as somehow your fault? a. Yes b. No I think she's trying to get you to break up with her so she can say she didn't end it. She doesn't have the balls to do it herself. Another way to put it: She's made her decision to end it, but she's being complicated on how. I actually did think about that that she doesn't want to end it she wants me to end it like she wants me to officially say I'm leaving but its like everytime I tell her she doesn't like I asked her do you want me to leave and she always tells me no you don't have to leave that's the part of mostly confused on Edited November 14, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author idontknow77 Posted November 14, 2015 Author Posted November 14, 2015 I have to agree with this. Sorry, OP. It doesn't look good. I would start looking into other living arrangements now. I am looking right now I found a couple places where I used to live but that's the thing every time I tell her I'm going to leave she breaks down and cries and tells me I don't have to leave that's where I get confused and I don't know what to do
Ic1 Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 everytime I tell her she doesn't like I asked her do you want me to leave and she always tells me no you don't have to leave that's the part of mostly confused on That's her making it look like she's the good guy. She wants to break up, but she doesn't want to be the official reason it didn't work. She wants you to break up with her, not her break up with you. (Even though that's what's happened). Doesn't look good to her friends if she tells them she broke up with you, but it's a night out where her friends buy her drinks to support her if you break up with her and she's sad.
Recommended Posts