jmw1727 Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 Feel like I will be having a good day, then all of a sudden thoughts of my ex or thoughts of my ex with her new boyfriend will rush to my head (even after 4 months post breakup)....Next thing I know I find myself wanting to check facebook or other social media outlets to see what she is doing. Thankfully, I have her blocked, but I always find myself considering unblocking just to see. I know from past experiences that I will find NOTHING I want to see, yet I still want to. Don't even know what I am searching for. Why do I want to do this? This is self-sabotage and nothing good will come of it. Anybody else having similar difficulties?
Amelie1980 Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 Feel like I will be having a good day, then all of a sudden thoughts of my ex or thoughts of my ex with her new boyfriend will rush to my head (even after 4 months post breakup)....Next thing I know I find myself wanting to check facebook or other social media outlets to see what she is doing. Thankfully, I have her blocked, but I always find myself considering unblocking just to see. I know from past experiences that I will find NOTHING I want to see, yet I still want to. Don't even know what I am searching for. Why do I want to do this? This is self-sabotage and nothing good will come of it. Anybody else having similar difficulties? I am still doing alot longer than 4 months later.
strach Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 It's actually a pretty normal thing to occur, dont think you're crazy or anything. This still happens to me and I'm 10 months post breakup. It's natural to think about someone who meant a lot to you regardless of how it ended. I used to do the whole facebook looking thing as well until I realized it was only hurting me, especially when I found out she was with someone new. Know its hard and its good that you have her blocked but you just gotta fight off those urges to take a peek. Find something that you enjoy and try to distract yourself whenever you want to look. And honestly, the biggest thing is getting back in the dating game (when you feel ready). Finding someone new to replace those thoughts about your ex will really do so much for you. Best of luck
Woon Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 6months now. Exactly the same. Too be completely honest. Had that exact thing happen right now. But decided to browse LS instead, hoping to wait it out. It worked. After reading and commenting here, most of it has passed.
Silver_star Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 it's normal. Not if its happening daily, but everyone get's curious. I looked up an ex from 6 years ago that I would NEVER get back with ever, because I was just curious to see what he looked like now, and if he looked happy. All I saw was his profile pic. It didn't hurt me, because I don't pine for him or a relationship with him. Just got curious is all. When I look at my most recent ex's page..i feel hurt. I feel like his life is moving on without me (which it is). I get pangs of missing "us". The biggest cliché and truth is that TIME is the only thing that will heal and make you accept the new reality, and even see the positive in the new reality.
Confusioncreepsin Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 How many times will someone post unhappy pics on social media? Think about that. Its always fake. Some will go meme crazy sending all kinds of posters etc to try to get people to see them as victims or validation. They will always try to post GREAT and wonderful things that are going on. Remember that each time you seek the "truth" through social media. Its all for covering up their sadness or getting validation or sympathy for being a victim. EVEN if it is a vindictive person who is doing it on purpose so you will HURT when you see it, remember that this person is STILL trying to HURT you and make you jealous/crazy. It's just a breadcrumb to send your way to make you react. DO NOT REACT, do not message them, no phone calls, nothing. Pretend that you never saw it if you can. 1
anonymousbear00101100 Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 I can go an hour without thinking of her before something inevitably comes up and I redirect my focus towards her. Yesterday it was someone asking if I'd ever been to Sonic. This past summer, hanging out at her house and walking down there for ice cream was a frequent event. However, often times these walks would turn into us arguing about something. I definitely can absolutely just be floored with depression after remembering something that we did together that made us happy, but after a few minutes, I realize that I wasn't happy bickering about pointless stuff. I miss having a girlfriend to share amazing memories with, not necessarily having her. I've caught myself wanting to check her Facebook a few times now. Still trying to stay strong.
Woon Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 How many times will someone post unhappy pics on social media? Think about that. Its always fake. Some will go meme crazy sending all kinds of posters etc to try to get people to see them as victims or validation. They will always try to post GREAT and wonderful things that are going on. Remember that each time you seek the "truth" through social media. Its all for covering up their sadness or getting validation or sympathy for being a victim. EVEN if it is a vindictive person who is doing it on purpose so you will HURT when you see it, remember that this person is STILL trying to HURT you and make you jealous/crazy. It's just a breadcrumb to send your way to make you react. DO NOT REACT, do not message them, no phone calls, nothing. Pretend that you never saw it if you can. This is seriously one of the wisest things ive read on here. Too true and worth reminding oneself of. Thank you good sir/madam.
Confusioncreepsin Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 This is seriously one of the wisest things ive read on here. Too true and worth reminding oneself of. Thank you good sir/madam. You are welcome!!! Hope it helps... PS. Being a guy that normally falls into the trap that all the ex messages, posts, etc are directed to me, it helps me put things into perspective. Hell, most of the posts MAY be directed to her new supply...who knows, but I have to remember that.
mtnbiker3000 Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 The single most beneficial thing I've done to help myself get over my ex (almost 2.5 years now) was to NEVER, I repeat NEVER, as in not once, check up on her through social media!!! Now I just plain don't give a shyte
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