st8toftheheart Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 You know how it is, you get together with someone, you finally take the step of sleeping with them (not matter what your criteria is ) Then they ask the dreaded question. "Am I the best you have ever had?" So have you ever done the following 1) Told them yes an mean it 2) Told them yes and didn't mean it 3) Broke up with them and told them it was all a lie. I'd like to hear your experiences for anyone who has been throguh this. I'd especially like to hear from thos folks who found out that they were lied to.
sarah12 Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 1) Told them yes an mean it 2) Told them yes and didn't mean it 3) Broke up with them and told them it was all a lie. yes, no and no. Told the best that he was the best, told the second best that it was some of the best sex I had ever had. And no, I would never re-evaluate the sex after the break up. The sex was either good or bad, I'm not gonna lie about it.
prissymissy Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 Ok, the only time I lied, was when I slept with this total jerk who thinks that he is gods gift to women and he was like dang that was good huh? i was like, um not really. He was so mad. And till this day when I see him he is embarrassed. BUT, it did feel good to put at least one of them in there place. Sorry guys we can get one over on you sometimes too.
Author st8toftheheart Posted May 26, 2005 Author Posted May 26, 2005 Originally posted by prissymissy Ok, the only time I lied, was when I slept with this total jerk who thinks that he is gods gift to women and he was like dang that was good huh? i was like, um not really. He was so mad. And till this day when I see him he is embarrassed. BUT, it did feel good to put at least one of them in there place. Sorry guys we can get one over on you sometimes too. Ok so if I read this correctly you lied that he wasn't good when he was?
sarah12 Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 haha..that's a good one though. Guys like that need someone to bring them down to earth sometimes. In general, I don't want a guy to get a big head about sex either, so you can keep him on his toes to work for the good sex, instead of get lazy b/c he knows he's good. I know this b/c I've had guys tell me I'm the best they've ever had and I sure did get lazy after that!!
Author st8toftheheart Posted May 26, 2005 Author Posted May 26, 2005 Originally posted by sarah12 haha..that's a good one though. Guys like that need someone to bring them down to earth sometimes. In general, I don't want a guy to get a big head about sex either, so you can keep him on his toes to work for the good sex, instead of get lazy b/c he knows he's good. I know this b/c I've had guys tell me I'm the best they've ever had and I sure did get lazy after that!! Some men are just in secure and need that assurance. Not all of us are in for it for our selves.
prissymissy Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 Originally posted by st8toftheheart Ok so if I read this correctly you lied that he wasn't good when he was? Yeah he was allright. But I told him he sucked. lol.
sarah12 Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 Originally posted by st8toftheheart Some men are just in secure and need that assurance. Not all of us are in for it for our selves. True, some men DO need that assurance, but if I keep coming back for more sex, isn't that a good sign that the sex must be good? And yes I know not every man is in it for themselves, and in fact most men love pleasuring women, but I like sex when both partners work at making it good and keeping it good.
Author st8toftheheart Posted May 26, 2005 Author Posted May 26, 2005 Originally posted by sarah12 True, some men DO need that assurance, but if I keep coming back for more sex, isn't that a good sign that the sex must be good? Yes, but take me for example. My ex told me that I was the best she ever had. Told me that I am the only one to give her the big O. She obviously came back for more. Didn't believe her. Yes, it was insecurity driving that. And then the thought about, if the sex is good you keep coming bavk. I know of several people who had a very happy relationship where the sex was just ok. Even though it was just ok, they kept going back. Sex in of itself provides some pleasure, so if it isn't the greatest, there are other things that can supplement that and want the person to come back for more. So knowing this, always drives me to ask the question was I the best. And yes I know not every man is in it for themselves, and in fact most men love pleasuring women, but I like sex when both partners work at making it good and keeping it good. Very true.
Pocky Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 Originally posted by st8toftheheart "Am I the best you have ever had?" :lmao: If someone I slept with asked me this question after having sex I'd laugh right out the door.
SexKitten Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky :lmao: If someone I slept with asked me this question after having sex I'd laugh right out the door. i was just going to say i would be laughing too hard to answer.
Author st8toftheheart Posted May 26, 2005 Author Posted May 26, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky :lmao: If someone I slept with asked me this question after having sex I'd laugh right out the door. Wow. Pretty harsh. But I guess you just assume that he's out to boost his in own ego, and that the chances that he's insecure and that something like that could crush a man, are slim to none. I mean how would you feel if some guy laughed at you while you were giving him a BJ? Or maybe your secure enough to take that type of criticism or just wouldn't care.
sarah12 Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 I've had it asked before so I guess that's why I don't find it that funny, but yes, it is a major sign of insecurity, but at least the guy is open enough about sex to talk about it. And then the thought about, if the sex is good you keep coming bavk. I know of several people who had a very happy relationship where the sex was just ok. Even though it was just ok, they kept going back. Sex in of itself provides some pleasure, so if it isn't the greatest, there are other things that can supplement that and want the person to come back for more. I guess I was thinking of FWB situations that I've been in. But yes, you are right that in a relationship, there are other things as well.
Pocky Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 Originally posted by st8toftheheart I mean how would you feel if some guy laughed at you while you were giving him a BJ? If I asked a silly question while giving a guy head then I'd probably laugh with him.
Horse Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 Originally posted by st8toftheheart Yes, but take me for example. My ex told me that I was the best she ever had. Told me that I am the only one to give her the big O. Is this just something that women just say? I've had a few women say this although I've never asked and I always assumed they were just saying it to be nice. I'm just curious. I can see women saying a guy is the best just to fluff his ego, but the big O comment doesn't seem like something someone would just say. I've never had a woman ask if she was the best. I don't think most women care.
RecordProducer Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 1) Yes 2) No 3) No I told my current BF he's the best and he didn't believe me. I think he started believing me after me repeating it many times. Nobody has ever asked me "Am I the best you ever had?" That sounds so stupid. Neither would I ask him that or even think about it.
Author st8toftheheart Posted May 26, 2005 Author Posted May 26, 2005 Originally posted by Horse Is this just something that women just say? I've had a few women say this although I've never asked and I always assumed they were just saying it to be nice. I'm just curious. I can see women saying a guy is the best just to fluff his ego, but the big O comment doesn't seem like something someone would just say. I've never had a woman ask if she was the best. I don't think most women care. I dunno, the big O if anything is something that men prize as being a test of their manhood. So to have someone say that they have never had an O before they met you is stroking the ego to the max. So I can actually it see it being used for the sake of saying it to boost the partners ego. You're right, for the most part women don't care. Or atleast that what I take from my experience. But what I find insulting is the fact that we do ask, and throw some women throw it back in our faces with some type of smugness.
Author st8toftheheart Posted May 26, 2005 Author Posted May 26, 2005 Nobody has ever asked me "Am I the best you ever had?" That sounds so stupid. Neither would I ask him that or even think about it. Well I know it sounds stupid, but its interesting how many people completely overlook the message that may be actually behind the question. Yes some guys are egotists. Looks for another conquest that best his fellow man. But there are some men, who all they want to do is please their partner. They may be in a relationship or situation that is completely new to them, and their one and only desire is make them as happy as they make them. He may not be able to read how the other person is feeling, so yes, he made need to hear the the answer to his question to let him know that he is secure in the ways he feels. Or another approach that can be taken is you can just laugh in his face and crush a human sole, because you think he's another sauve jerk. I guess insensitivity is no longer just a male trait.
NutellaGirl Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 I never thought much about it until i started to become more sexually comfortable and aware. I don't want to ask if i am the best for fear the answer would be No. I'd be crushed. And then constantly worry about things while we were intimate... So i don't ask - i would rather my SO volunteered that information. So it isn't that i don't care - i'd love to think i am the best my SO has had - but i'd be crushed at the same time if i wasn't...
Pocky Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 Originally posted by st8toftheheart But there are some men, who all they want to do is please their partner. They may be in a relationship or situation that is completely new to them, and their one and only desire is make them as happy as they make them. He may not be able to read how the other person is feeling, so yes, he made need to hear the the answer to his question to let him know that he is secure in the ways he feels. Well then why don't you ask about the specific experience and not as a comparison between other sexual relations? That's where the whole stupid part comes in - it's not that you're interested in knowing whether or not you pleased the person it's when you turn it into a competition as though your worth is determined by how much better you were compared to other people they've been with. Considering the possibility that everyone else the person has had sex with might have completely sucked, being better than them may not really say much. Asking sultry questions regarding whether or not the other person enjoyed it, or if there was something they love that you didn't do, or what else can you do to bring them pleasure is a better way of knowing that you do please someone. Certainly better than say, "Hey - was I your best lay?" It's so - impersonal. It's like you just got your car repaired.
Author st8toftheheart Posted May 26, 2005 Author Posted May 26, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky Well then why don't you ask about the specific experience and not as a comparison between other sexual relations? That's where the whole stupid part comes in - it's not that you're interested in knowing whether or not you pleased the person it's when you turn it into a competition as though your worth is determined by how much better you were compared to other people they've been with. Although its not a competition in the literal sense, I for one need something tangible in order to under stand the impact I have had on her. I think its a flaw alot of men share. Its no different when people say men show love with the sex, while women express their love through the act of sex. Its just how we intrepet things to get to the same answers. Considering the possibility that everyone else the person has had sex with might have completely sucked, being better than them may not really say much. I have to agree with you there, but again its not about how good I am in respect to the rest of the world. Its important that her experience with me is the best she's ever had. That I have set myself apart from others in her life. Asking sultry questions regarding whether or not the other person enjoyed it, or if there was something they love that you didn't do, or what else can you do to bring them pleasure is a better way of knowing that you do please someone. Certainly better than say, "Hey - was I your best lay?" It's so - impersonal. It's like you just got your car repaired. I agree the delivery has to be done in such away not to offend, but I still think you can do all those things you mentioned and still ask the question. The real problem is, guys who ask the question for the right reason, but don't like the answer. Like all things you better be willing to accept the answer no matter what it is, before you travel down that road.
SouthernGuest Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 I didn't have to lie to my SO. He is the best. Ever. Yay for me! (And the biggest :-D)
blind_otter Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 I either avoid the subject and say it's a silly question (which is my response to asking for my "number") - or if it really is the case I say that they are. Which has happened twice, once 2 years ago, and again recently. Honestly though you can ask what kind of sex or how good the sex I had with past partners was and I couldn't tell you. Out of sight, out of mind. I don't think it's fair to compare and I put them out of my head when we part. I suppose it's too bad for them. I forget what sex was like, even with the first guy I had sex with who I said "Oh you are the best, baby." Of course it helps that I have a short term memory disorder. :snort: It's still a silly question. Ya know, my BF told me I was the best lay he'd ever had and I thought he was full of it. Just saying that to make me feel good and all that. It was a sweet gesture but the answer "yes" to that question smacks of insincerity...
magda Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 No one has ever asked me that. Or if they have, I don't remember. If someone did, I'd accurately say I have no idea. I can't remember that stuff, either. If I was feeling pleasant I might say, "Well, all I know is with you I can't remember the other times very clearly." But I would be pretty annoyed with whoever is asking. I might say, "I'd rather not sit here trying to remember sex with other men when I am with you. If it's all the same to you."
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