Bypass Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 This story has a lot of content, I want to show you guys my experience as I experienced it. There's A LOT more things that happened. I explain how I met my ex and exactly what happened. Thanks if you actually took the time to read everything. I play this one game called league of legends, it's a competitive game where other players fight each other to come out on top. I was looking for a team because I had recently acquired a high rank. I used a website to find my teammates, and at the time, all I was looking for was high ranking players. After a couple days of searching I found a team that was willing to play everyday and we were doing great. We won almost all our games and we all had fun playing together. When the season ended, we were disappointed that we weren't able to achieve the rank we wanted(we were really close though!!). And so, the team disbanded. Not long after the team disbanded, I contacted one of the players. We will call her Sarah. At the time, I would say we were good friends, we played a lot and chatted here and there. Sarah had a boyfriend though and he would always get jealous that she would play with other guys and stuff. We will call him Dave. They would be consistently be fighting about his jealousy. Whenever they would fight, she would cope by playing games and ignoring him. Sarah and I played pretty much the WHOLE day together. I'm guessing the reason she played with me a lot though is because we were really good partners for playing ranked games. However, she didn't know I cheated in the game. I used scripts to dodge and use skill-shots. I was pretty much not the skill level I was without it. I also DDOSed people(Denial of service, basically I took peoples internet down), but she knew I was doing that because I told her I was. She didn't seem to mind and I think she thought it was kinda cool . Then she got kinda bored of League and started playing Diablo. After awhile, she told me shes going to visit her boyfriend, and that she wont be playing at all when shes there. So for a whole month we lost contact. She came back and we started talking again. I guess Sarah and Dave got really close cause she started telling me how much she loved him and how great of a guy he is. At this time, I told her that I cheated at the game this whole time and she didn't seem to mind again. We played league occasionally and of course Sarah and Dave would keep fighting again. Eventually, she completely broke up with Dave. After they broke up, we started talking even more and spending our whole days together. A month later after the break up, I get the courage to ask her out. I invited her to a game and we played 1 on 1. I told her that if I beat her, she has to be my girlfriend and if she beats me, she doesn't have to be. And of course, I wouldn't be using cheats. At the start of the game she was beating me.... badly . But then towards the end she let me win, and with that, we were officially together! She told me how happy she was that she met me, and how much I made her smile. It made me so happy and grateful I met a girl like this. Finally, a girl I can spend my whole day with and never get annoyed. I was happy with EVERYTHING she did, never did she annoy me once or made me question our relationship. Spending the whole day with her was like heaven. A week later, I asked if she wanted to come visit me where I lived. She told me she did and so, I bought her a ticket to come visit me. Somehow Dave found out she was coming, and started getting mad. He threatened her life and would say hes flying over to her before her flight. We thought that he probably keylogged Sarah's computer. I had a talk with him, and basically told him off. He told me that the relationship he had with Sarah was the most toxic relationship he has had and he told me, "I'm going to move on, and I'm just happy that your the one that's being in the rebound relationship. You seem like a good kid, when you guys break up, you're welcome to message me for help. I know I needed it" At the time I didn't know what that meant. All I knew was that he was crazy and he threatened Sarah A LOT. I didn't mention this before, but Sarah and Dave dated for one whole year. So Sarah came over without any problems, and we didn't know how long she would be staying. First thing we did when she got here was I took her out to dinner because her flight was 8 hours long and she was starving. I got her a duck blanket because she always told me she loves ducks :3. I paid for everything, cooked and did the dishes. She brought some money with her, and she did pay for some food and stuff. But honestly, I wasn't expecting her to pay for anything because I knew she didn't really have much money. I was just happy she was with me. For the first month though, I realized she hadn't said thank you to anything I did. I live with my cousin who's my age, and he would always yell at me to find a better girl cause she doesn't do anything to help or isn't appreciative. But when I talked about it with her, I would only bring it up as a defense when we would get into a heated argument. I shouldn't have done this.. one of the many things I regret. It was an issue I should of addressed sooner when everything was calm. After the issue was addressed, she started saying thank you to everything and started to help with the dishes! I was honestly so happy when this happened because I knew our relationship was growing positive. But we would fight over dumb things, and during the first month she was here, she got really mad at me for talking to other girls. I admit, I did talk to Sarah about this one girl a lot, but honestly I never had feelings for her. Lets call her Jess. Jess was dating one of my good friends. And Jess was getting A LOT of connections with famous people in the game, League. So it was really awesome talking to her and then getting to play with these famous people. Stuff she got mad at me for was when I made comments like "Dang, no wonder why so many guys like Jess. Her profile pic looks really good" but it was only cause she edited the pictures like CRAZZZZY and she didn't really look like her profile pic in real life. I told Sarah that, but she got really mad I even said that. By the time I finally understood her reason for being mad, I said I was sorry. But she was still mad at me because I had said it after the fact she was mad at me, and that she had to tell me why she was so mad. Another time she got mad, was when I was typing to Jess in the game, and during mid sentence, Sarah asked me a question. I answered "Hold on, I'm talking to Jess" . This made her FURIOUS. She was yelling at me how I was prioritizing Jess over her and how I could have just answered her instead of saying "Hold on, I'm talking to Jess". I was concentrated on typing to Jess so I wanted to finish my sentence with her before I forgot what I was going to say to her. I also thought it was rude to drop a conversation to answer another question. But Sarah thought otherwise. This one took me awhile to apologize for because I thought that I was in the right. I thought she was overreacting about the situation. But when I realized how important this was for her, I told her sorry, and I'll try to prioritize her over other people. A couple days later, I did it again accidentally, I kinda did it without realizing it. She wasn't mad this time, but she did give me like a silent stare or something. But I immediately knew what I did and apologized. NEVER did I do this for the rest of our relationship. Some time goes by and we play a game called Maplestory. We were trying out private servers and what not. There was this one guy that was helping us with the game and telling Sarah what to upgrade. When I asked her a question, she replied to me "Hold on, I'm doing my skills". So I got upset and I asked her why shes doing that to me, when she just told me not to do that to her. She replied to me that it's because I do it a lot more than her, and I shouldn't get mad at her for doing it once. I wasn't sure what to say to that, she got really mad at me for even bringing it up. She kept bringing up other stuff I did long time ago that I already apologized for. So, I just told her I was sorry. It felt like she held grudges for a long time too. Like, the first week when we started dating, I bought her plane ticket, I asked when her birthday was and she got really made i forgot her birthday. Because of this, for the next 4 months I would hear her say in her arguments that I can't even remember her birthday. But, it was only the first week! I remembered her birthday from then on. Yet, she was persistent that I can't remember her birthday. The last straw with Jess was when she found out that I was talking about our relationship with Jess and her boyfriend. These fights we had, I needed help with it because I was inexperienced with girls and I wanted help from other people on how to make our relationship better. So they were giving me advice. But Sarah got really mad at me for going to them first before talking to her upfront. But this time she was actually really really mad at me. It got to the point where I had to remove Jess from my friends list to get her to calm down. This scenario is similar to another one that I said. But, when we were playing league, I was reunited with an old friend, "Amber", that happened to get into the same game as us. We talked about how we were doing and after awhile I went to go play maple with Sarah. So I told Amber that she should play maple with us because she told me she use to play. Then Sarah got really mad I asked a girl to play maple with us. I didn't see what was so wrong about that, so it took me awhile to say sorry again.. as you can see, theirs a pattern where I take awhile to say sorry. So she gets really mad at me for it. BUT, of course, a couple days later, she was playing with her maple friends, and she asks her guy friends to play league. So then I kinda talked to her about that and she got mad again. Ever since the Jess incident, she would get really mad at me for typing to a girl, or inviting a girl to a game. There was this one time where, I was typing to a girl. And then she asked me who I was typing to, I responded that I wasn't typing to a girl. I was afraid she would make me delete her if I responded that she was a girl. However, I told her that she was a girl a bit later cause it was weird kinda lying to her. She was ended up being really mad at me for lying. When we have these arguments, their was a time when she would talk to her maple friend about it. And they would private messaging each other ALL day. So again, I confronted her about it how is she aloud to talk to other people about it but I can't about it with other people. And then she tells me that its because I do it more than her. I know from what I write, it seems like we argue A LOT more than having a good time. But we don't, it's because when we do have a good time, I feel like its just an average day so we don't really think much of it. We spend every day playing games or watching shows or going out to eat or watch a movie. It's something I regret while we were together. I wish that we went out and did other things, but I was so lazy and didn't have THAT much money to spend. Something I regret doing was, whenever we fought, she would stop whatever we were doing and go into a room to cool off and think. It started with me just going into the room and then cooling her down myself saying sorry. But then as time went by and we kept fighting, she started to lock herself in the room. I would ask her to open the door, but then I got irritated when she wouldn't and broke the lock to get in to talk to her. I should have just let her cool off on her own, but I was really impatient. Honestly, I messed up the relationship so hard, I told her that she was a horrible person and that I didn't know why I was dating a girl like her. But I didn't mean to say that, it was just something that came out of my mouth when we were in a heated argument. I apologized for saying that immediately. This was my first serious relationship, so I was pretty new at all this and didn't know what to do. I know it should be common sense, but its something relationships do to help grow a person I feel like. Shes flown back and forth from my place to her place twice, once so she can visit her family and go to a wedding (but she ended up not going). Then another time so she can go back to her family to think about going to school. I wanted her to go to school here in my state but it was expensive compared to her hometown so she had to think about it. Up until the last week of our relationship was when it started getting really bad. She started to get mad at me for no reason and put me down everything I was saying or doing. I can't blame her though. We just kept fighting A LOT the last week of our relationship. I was suppose to visit her in her state and try to work things out. but during the one week I had to wait, I messed up so much. It's been 5 months since I deleted Jess, and she randomly adds me again. So i accept the friend request thinking it was OK since it was so long ago. I made a HUGE mistake. we were trying to play, and I invited her to the game and Sarah got SO mad at me. She told me I betrayed her trust and that she cant trust me ever again. She wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the day, and she would just play with this one guy. Lets call him Rick I didn't mind when she talked to guys and stuff, but Rick in particular, I hated when she talked to him alone. He would say stuff like "I don't need porn to masturbate, when I can just use Sarah's Skype pic" and he would ask her to webcam when they were alone together. But they said it was fine cause he was just joking. I understand that it was a joke, but it wasn't really that funny and it was pretty messed up to say it. Anyways, the last couple days of our relationship, she would be in a Skype call with this guy for like the whole day. And I didn't really feel comfortable them being together like that so I kept telling her that I didn't like it. She told me I should trust her and that she would never date a guy like him. Cause I told her that he use to just hook up with girls and break their hearts. I know that because that's what he told me. I use go to him for advice for Kayla, and he told me that I need to know how to control and manipulate her. How can I trust a guy like that? 2 days before the flight, we get into another argument about the game, and I tried to prove her wrong. She didn't like it when I tried to prove her wrong all the time so she broke up with me. However, the day before the flight she told me she still wanted me to come to work things out. But on the day of the flight, I started talking to her and she got really irritated with me for no reason again. So I asked her do you really want to work things out? and she told me not to come. At first I agreed, but then after I thought about it, I told her that I wanted to come. This was 3 hours before my flight left. I kept changing my mind about saying I was going to come and not go. I was so confused, I really wanted to go but she really didn't want me to come. In the end I didn't go. I should have just shut up and waited for my flight. Since then she didn't want to be with me anymore and she wouldn't even want to talk to me. I kept asking Rick for help cause he was good friends with her. And he would tell me to just leave her alone and give her space. Which I probably should have done, but I kept trying to talk to her. Awhile back, Sarah and I watched inside out, and she really liked the song "lava". So I learned how to play the ukulele and sang her Lava. When I asked her if it was bad, she replied that it wasn't bad. But didn't say anything else. I'm a 3D animator and I thought that if I made her favorite duck from Maplestory she would like that. While I was making it I took screenshots of the progress and told her things. I was planning on 3D printing it and sending it to her. 1. https://gyazo.com/c4de6e70a49ee0f08e48818d6aadc1f9 2. https://gyazo.com/c81e7cc15bdc0822f2d3f085ff1bfd6c 3. https://gyazo.com/548c7f5286eb0ded941bf3b454b07a45 4. https://gyazo.com/8c6649d8bc259debb0606761617fd982 5. https://gyazo.com/1f48ef7abedc06da9cdc44776d277f15 This is the duck if you want to look at it: https://sketchfab.com/models/5ae9a32850a4428faf0d608975d2fee5 She didn't respond to anything I said. She told Rick that she thought the duck was cute. I sent her Huge flowers and a teddy bear. Her mom gave it to her and she told me that she smiled which made me happy. But then she also told me she was talking to someone on Skype.. which was Rick. She didn't think much of the flowers and asked that if I had sent them to her. Rick told me I shouldn't send her anything cause at this point its burdening her. So I didn't send the 3D printed duck. I kept asking her to give me another chance, and she kept telling me to stop. She said that we have 0 chance of getting back together and nothing can change that. So I left her alone and read articles on how to get your ex back. The NC rule seemed to be my best chance, but even then it doesn't feel like it would work. But it was my only chance of getting her back. So I counted each agonizing day to finally be able to make contact with her again. I lasted 5 days until I asked Rick something. I asked him what his relationship was with Sarah and asked if he liked her. He told me that he really likes Sarah and hes thinking about asking her out. The only thing stopping him was that she lived too far. He told me I was the most idiotic person on this planet to let her go. He was saying how if he was in my shoes, he would have done everything he could to keep her. What hurt the most was that he told me that he Skypes all day with her. Playing League, and watch shows together and then how if he asks her out, he knows she will say yes. My world fell apart that day and I didn't know what to do. I made contact with Sarah and asked her I thought that she said that she would never date a guy like Rick. She was saying it was because i told her that he was a "player" and how he doesn't do that anymore. How he changed and isn't that same guy. I ended the conversation wishing them the best. How they should be together and be happy. I know I should move on, but it's so hard. I'm currently studying to get into this tech school, and I can't focus at all. Every time I start reading, I lose focus and think about Sarah. All my hobbies involved Sarah so its hard to forget about her. We did everything together, and now she just gone in an instant. I was replaced with my friend Rick. Or at least I thought he was my friend.. What can I do to get her back? Please don't tell me its impossible. I know I can't force her to change her mind or break them apart. But their has to be something I can do to help change her mind herself. SOMETHING I can do to help bring back all the happy memories we had so she thinks that getting back together is a good thing. She would always got mad at me because when I said sorry it sounded sarcastic to her. But it was always genuine. I've tried moving on and talking to other girls. Most girls annoy me for some reason. Their laugh sounds so annoying most of the time and fake. Sarah's smile and laugh always cheered me up and brought a wave of happiness to me. She won't even talk to me over the phone now. We were together for 6 months, and during those 6 months we were together pretty much 24/7. It's so hard when she is suddenly ripped apart from your life. I truly do wish Sarah and Rick to be happy. When I talk to Rick, he genuinely sounds like he loves Sarah. Who am I to deny them that. She enjoys playing the game with him a lot more than me. Hes better at the game than me, and he knows how to talk to girls a lot more than me. But they did say they MIGHT go out. So maybe I still have a chance? I know not anytime soon.. I should probably work on self improvement in the meantime.
Silver_star Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 There's no way I'm reading all that, but I checked out the last couple paragraphs. The best thing you could do to help her think of you fondly at all, is let her go and don't contact her. Those memories exist and if you hound her or go after her and try to convince her to go back to you will not come off in a good way. Let her be. That's your best shot. The balls in her court though. Like you said you can't force anyone to feel something they don't.
mightycpa Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 (edited) I skimmed through, caught a few of the major points. Listen to me, these are pearls for you. First of all, if you ignore the particular details, this story of yours has been told over and over again since there were men competing for women on the planet. It's one of the oldest stories that there is. Boy meets girl. They feel this incredible feeling of love, there's nothing like it and everything is great, until it isn't. One or both of them **** up, mostly because they've never done it before, and they get comfortable, and they cannot imagine that they will ever be apart. At least, not until one of them decides that they will be. The one left behind goes through some deep misery, and even though they are around people, it's like they are suddenly alone. You have this urge to relive every date, every argument, every kiss, when you met, when you broke up, over and over and over and over again until there is nothing more to remember. You blame yourself for the mistakes you made, and you think that if you had just done things differently, you'd still be together, forever, in eternal love. Instead, you're left wishing the past was different. You don't even know what you want, but mostly, you just want her to love you again. That is the only thing that might make you feel good again, and you're not even sure about that. You can't understand how she can change so quickly, and how none of this matters to her. You've just been through a rite of passage. Most of us have been there. These feelings will pass, if you let them out, and you give things time. You probably won't fall in love again right away, and when you do, it will be nice, but a little different. That one may last, it may not. It might be somebody else, after that one. A lot of that depends on whether or not you figure out the secret to keeping somebody, and if she has also figured that secret out. It's a lot to ask of two people, but as you get older, your chances get better, unless it takes you too long. Silver_star is right. The best thing you can do is hold your head high, and accept that you can't change the past. What happened has already happened, and there is no profit in beating yourself up over it. Chances are she and Rick won't last either. Chances are that somebody is going to make her feel the way you feel right now, but it probably won't be you. It's just the way things are. I know that sounds very bleak right now, but you're in for a great adventure, if you just have the right attitude, and remember that there is so much more ahead of you than there is behind you. One last thing. Put down that game controller and go get some sun and some exercise. It will make you feel a lot better. Edited November 13, 2015 by mightycpa 1
Recommended Posts