bigcajunlover Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 Very new to this but have for a long time wanted to share and learn from other experience in personal relationships. Loving wife and daughter of over 40 years and 25 respectively, confess to a relationship with a woman who is 9 years older than me.She was my PA and had a lot of emotional issues that led to her wanting to love and beloved. She was single and with expartners and family around at the start. I was a caring boss and in an OK relationship that was about to be effected by the arrival of a new child. For almost 20 years we had an A stopped and started again stopped over a year ago and have had NC for a year. I have just had a BIG birthday after a full year of total NC she contacted me to say happy birthday. Having gone through so many feelings in the past year l have agreed to meet at a public and neutral venue next week. I know the electricity between us will be at a maximum peak and it will be very hard experience to endure. I try to analyse our relationship over and over but have not the time now to share my feelings. If you have any advice in advance of the meeting/`date l welcome it.
Author bigcajunlover Posted November 15, 2015 Author Posted November 15, 2015 My first post on this site had 90 views to date and not one bit of advice. I meet up with my long term ex AF on Tuesday. Will take note of what nobody has said !
sandylee1 Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Okay. You want responses....you won't like mine....but here we go. You had an on off affair for 20 years? You confess to the affair and now want to meet up with the OW? Why? Just why? Would you still be married if your wife did the same? Would you want a husband like yourself, for your daughter? You want advice. ...DON'T GO. What good can come of it? Your wife stayed and you want to betray her again...that's not right . And it's not honest. If she finds out..She'll think the affair never ended. Does your wife mean that little to you? Have you thought that this could end really badly for you? Divorce?
eye of the storm Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 My advice. Don't go. If you do go, tell your wife. She deserves to know how little she means to you. By meeting this woman you are saying with your actions that your wants and the OWs wants are more important than your wife's needs.
Ms. Faust Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 For once in 20 years think of your family. Don't go.
qubist Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 normally this kind of meetings with an ex AP is never a good idea, it will not give you or her any closure, and may risk another emotional breakdown for both of you. can you elaborate more? how old are both of you? how did you wife and family react to the confession? does your wife know about this meeting?
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