ThisisIt606 Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 I've been dating this guy for a little over 5 months and we are exclusive. His mom is coming next week to visit for Thanksgiving, she's flying from out of state. She came to visit once during the time when we were dating but it was when he had surgery and she was taking care for him/living with him for 2 weeks. THe relationship was about 2 months fresh so I did not meet her then. However I am interested in meeting her now. Is this something I should suggest to my guy? She's coming for a week during Thanksgiving and she's also coming for a week during Christmas. He has not met my parents but he has met some of my friends. I know his parents are divorced and he's only close with his mom and has no contact with his dad.
kismetkismet Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 Personally I wouldn't ask. I feel like that's more something that he should decide his comfort level for.. I feel like if he thinks your relationship is at that stage then he will suggest it. There are lots of reasons behind introducing your SO or not.. personally i try to wait quite a while to introduce guys to my parents. Not because I am unsure about the guy, but because my family is very intense and they get very involved/want us to come to dinner constantly and put a lot of pressure on etc. The best way to indicate that you'd like to meet his parents is to introduce him to yours. Is there a reason why you havent? If it comes up naturally of course you can say that you'd love to meet her, i would just steer clear of pressuring him in any way. 2
Author ThisisIt606 Posted November 13, 2015 Author Posted November 13, 2015 There hasn't really been a good moment... one occurred during the summer but I personally thought it was too soon and the idea freaked me out a bit. I'm much more comfortable with it now. I'm trying to get mother to come to a show of mine on the same day that my guys is going. That way they could meet briefly/causally to see me after my show.
mystikmind2005 Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 Just tell him that if any situation were to develop where you met his mum, that it would be ok with you. 1
Author ThisisIt606 Posted November 13, 2015 Author Posted November 13, 2015 I just want to figure out if I'm a secret or not, bc right now I worry that I am and it hurts. I'm not sure how to bring this up? Secret in the sense that he talks about his friends, co-workers, and family but I haven't met a single soul in relation to him.
losangelena Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 I just want to figure out if I'm a secret or not, bc right now I worry that I am and it hurts. I'm not sure how to bring this up? Secret in the sense that he talks about his friends, co-workers, and family but I haven't met a single soul in relation to him. It's been 5 months and you haven't even met any of his friends? Jeez, my ex and I were meeting each others' friends before 2 months, even. He's never invited you to an outing with them?
angel.eyes Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 Yet he hasn't met your parents! Has he meet your friends? Co-workers? Don't invite yourself to meet his mother, especially on a big holiday. No hints either. That's his decision to make.
Author ThisisIt606 Posted November 13, 2015 Author Posted November 13, 2015 from what he told me about his friends: His 2 best friends from college: 1 lives/works in Africa/spotty wifi, other lives out of state with his wife and his mother recently died. He has 1 close co-worker friend now bc the rest got fired. Many of his friends are married. Lots of his co-workers are based off-site/another state. A co-worker did have a bday at a bar near my place once. (they were bar hopping) My guy wasn't very interested in going but said he would go to the last bar with them. He said he would have invited me but it was a "bro bar" and his co-workers "bro sports friends" whom he didn't know. He said he'd find a better situation for me to meet his friends. (This was all unprompted btw. i never asked to go) I told him that "sounded good :)" when he mentioned meeting his friends under other circumstances. So i'm not sure if it's entirely fair for me to get upset about not meeting them, or just due to circumstance it's hard.
angel.eyes Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 Everyone is different, but 5-6 months in, you should have met at least some people in his life, especially if he's met some of your friends. I would be more concerned about that than meeting his mom. It's irrelevant whether his friends are married or single. He seems to have a lot of excuses. At some point, he gets together with friends in his local circle. In your shoes, I might jokingly ask him about his social circle and why he's hiding them from you. I see why you're concerned.
mattelipstick Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 You say you're exclusive -- is he your boyfriend, though? Does he refer to you as his girlfriend? There's a distinction there, IMO. I would not ask to meet his mother, either way. If he wants you to meet her, he will bring it up. I do agree with others that it's odd to not have met anyone in his life at 5-6 months in. Meeting Mom seems like a pretty big leap though, considering you haven't even met friends.
MoreAmore Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 This is weird. Most guys are begging to show you off to everyone that far into a relationship. If it was just the mom, I would think it was unusual but wouldn't push it... but no one? Strange. 1
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