DanielShay Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 Well ill try to make this as short as possible. We met and dated for a year. We were both eachothers first. Im 20 and shes 18. We were insanely in love. She was the most clingiest girl ever. Would always get super jealous of me and mad if i didnt say i love you back. She was just the sweetest girl. She promised me that we would never ever leave eachother no matter what the situation is. Anyways, 10 months into the relationship she starts acting really distant. She would make up excuses like "im really busy with school and stuff, i still love you dont worry". I believed it because it seemed like a reasonable explanation. I started worrying, something just didnt seem right. The night before she broke up with me she told me how lucky she was to have me in her life and that she would never let go of. Well.... literally less than 20 hours later she calls me and says that she talked on the phone with one of her guy friends and she said that she has feelings for them. Im not the most sensitive guy around, but i broke down on the phone and she didnt care AT ALL. She said stop crying, i gotta go now so talk to you later. I said i love you, and she said cyah. How does someone go from being the most sweetest person ever to someone as cold as this? I sent her like 10 messages begging for her back. Sending her pictures of us happy together. She got annoyed and said "I wont ever love you again, we will only ever be friends at the most". My heart just dropped. I told her I dont want to be friends and I went into NC. After about a week, she told me that shes hurting and she misses me. I broke NC and called her and said dont hurt im still here for you. She tells me this...."Oh i didnt really mean anything by that, i gotta go though so bye!"..a few days go by and she follows my on instagram and then asks if she can know how im doing and that she does really miss me and is really hurting. I texted her and begged for her back... She left my message on "Read" and we havent talked since. She seems to be really in love with this new guy she puts him on her social media. Its been 2 weeks since NC and she hasnt contacted me, not once. Im hurting so bad and if anyone can give me some advice on what to do I would really appriecate it . I want her back. I dont want to move on. I need her
Chi townD Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 Okay, You're not in NC. I don't even know you and I can bet my paycheck that she's not blocked on your social media. Betcha you're still facebook friends and she isn't blocked on that either. That's not NC. NC is not knowing ANYTHING about the other persons life. Dude, what she's doing is pulling on the leash to make sure the dog is still there. If she pulls and the dog isn't there, she goes looking for the dog. If she texts you, ignore it. If she calls you, let it go to voicemail. DO NOT RESPOND! Start healing. Time to move on.
Author DanielShay Posted November 12, 2015 Author Posted November 12, 2015 well we arent friends on facebook anymore but i still look at hers and she looks at mine. She doesnt have me blocked on anything. But yeah you're right...im not going to contact her or have her on my social media at all. I would ignore her calls and texts..if she did call or text me. Its been 2 weeks and nothing. Im trying to move on :/ been a month but still feel the same as day 1 pretty much
Dylon Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 I'm sorry. I know it hurts but if you think she's in love with a new guy, you need to move on. It's the worst time to try to gain someone back when the other has moved on and just fell in love with someone else. All the things you said about her before doesn't matter now. It's the "now". You two are young and everything is yet to come. Look forward to those things. There will be plenty of girls in the future wanting to be connected. Now leave her alone and be strong. Don't look like someone that's just clueless. It will make you look bad.
Chi townD Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 Because you're filling yourself up with false hope and she's not helping. She keeps you on the hook by telling you things like, "I miss you" ad "I'm hurting" and you suck that stuff right up. And once she see's that you're still on the hook and you gave her and ego boost, off she goes again! Basically, she wants you as a back up plan. If this other guy doesn't work out, then she's got you waiting on the sidelines. Remember, while you're vying for her, she's with another guy. Don't waste another second on this girl. Start living your life as if she isn't coming back, because chances are...she's not. You need to re-invent yourself. You need to get new hobbies. You need to get to the gym. Work off your stress and frustrations. Plus, you'll be working on a rock hard and ripped body that girls are definitely going to like. Then, join some clubs. A running club or co-ed sports. Take diving lessons and get certified. Or take flying lessons. Get a private pilot's license. Get out there and don't be a hermit! Then, travel! Go somewhere you've always wanted to go. Plan and save, then GO! Give yourself something to look forward to! Dude, this isn't the end of the world. Look forward to the new life you're about to have.
Author DanielShay Posted November 12, 2015 Author Posted November 12, 2015 I Know ofcourse I know I need to move on but my emotions won't let me. Iv'e tried working out and hanging out with friends and stuff but at the end of the day when I'm in bed with nothing to do, there I am thinking about her again :/ . It's my first break up and I don't know maybe I'm being really weak about it.. but can I just ask how long it took you guys to get over your ex's? And when you did, how did it feel? Like do you still think about them or miss them at all ? It's been a month and I don't feel like I've made any progression.
jorgepy Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 Hey man she knows she has you by the balls (pardon my french), you gotta take the power back. 1. Cut contact with her 2. If she reaches out just ignore her 3. Go out on a date with another girl or go out with friends and have fun 4. Act like youre doing wonderful on your social media. She will come back quicker than a rabbit. Chicks are not attracted to you if you beg or act needy, say f''' it and take control of your emotions, and she will be begging you to go back with her. Its hard sometimes to see the clear picture when youre in the middle of the situation but you gotta be smart man. I went through something similar recently but today i woke up and realized , there is no need to put myself through this bullcrap, women come and go, if this one doesnt want you, screw her, its her loss. We need to have self respect man, women can be quite disrespectful too so dont let yourself fall into her traps.
Author DanielShay Posted November 13, 2015 Author Posted November 13, 2015 I hope that happens if she begs for me back I won't take her back. But I just want her to want me at this point, you know? But yes I definitely won't be contacting her. Thank you
Marco Valerio Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 (edited) Hi DanielShay, Go NC, that girl has no respect for you neither she values you. Move on, she's not the girl for you today or in the future. Cheer up friend. Edited November 13, 2015 by Marco Valerio
ExpatInItaly Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 Hi DanielShay, Go NC, that girl has no respect for you neither she values you. Move on, she's not the girl for you today or in the future. Cheer up friend. All of the above. OP, one important thing to realize is that she is extremely young and hasn't fully matured yet. She can't promise you forever. Her flip-flopping indicates she has no idea what she's doing when it comes to relationships, which unfortunately isn't totally unusual for her age. This all means she isn't ready for a committed relationship either. Block her on social media too, so that you're not tempted to look at her profile and so that she can't look at yours. Don't respond to her texts fishing for attention. She doesn't love you or respect you. I guarantee you will move on, and someday you will find happiness with a woman who is much more emotionally mature and cares enough about you not to toss you aside. Your ex isn't that person. 1
mightycpa Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 Hey man she knows she has you by the balls (pardon my french), you gotta take the power back. 1. Cut contact with her 2. If she reaches out just ignore her 3. Go out on a date with another girl or go out with friends and have funDo all that, yes. 4. Act like youre doing wonderful on your social media. Don't do that. That's just pathetic, and even worse, you would be basing your actions on what you think she MIGHT be reading about you. Talk about giving her your "power". Just be yourself, and of course, don't post your whiny feelings, but don't be fake. Everybody sees right through that nonsense. She will come back quicker than a rabbit. Chicks are not attracted to you if you beg or act needy, say f''' it and take control of your emotions, and she will be begging you to go back with her. Right in bold, wrong in italics. You usually can't manipulate people into feeling something for you that they don't feel. And if she's shallow enough that you can, I guarantee it won't last. Don't buy in to this kind of thinking. Accept that it is over, over, over. Its hard sometimes to see the clear picture when youre in the middle of the situation but you gotta be smart man. I went through something similar recently but today i woke up and realized , there is no need to put myself through this bullcrap, women come and go, if this one doesnt want you, screw her, its her loss. We need to have self respect man, women can be quite disrespectful too so dont let yourself fall into her traps.Yeah. There are a ton of girls out there, and while some are better for you than others, everybody is replaceable.
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