Gmuck Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 3 year relationship ended by my ex girlfriend 4 months ago. I haven't spoken to her in 3 1/2 months. Since then she has went thru 1 rebound that lasted 2 months and after it ended by her she jumped into another relationship with a new guy after 2 weeks. A mutual friend knows that I have been seeing a new girl myself. The mutual friend asked to see a picture of her and I showed her. The mutual friend was schocked at how cute the new girl is. I over exaggerated how close and much time me and the new girl were spending together. We hang out every other weekend. I mainly did it in hopes my ex gf would find out. I know this isn't enough to win her back but hey I wanted to get a jab in and not look so pathetic as the dumped who can't find another girl. Well it worked, the mutual friend told my ex gf that I was seeing a girl who is tall, blonde and beautiful. I asked if the ex had a reaction and she said a little bit but she said "good, I'm glad for him. I hope he is happy". The mutual friend said "I think he's doing good and is or has moved on" Ever since then from what I've been told, my ex has gotten really serious with guy #2. I'm wondering if this happened because it was going to happen or if the ex finding out about my new girl made her want to compete with her own guy? Was this a bad move letting her know about my new girl or does this help? Does this help release her guilt after the break up knowing I'm moving on and there is another girl? The purpose of all this is yes, I do still want my ex back. I've gotten to the point where I don't see that happening but my evil side wants to mess with her head/emotions in any way I can. I know, that's not nice and not the mature thing to do but I don't care. So what do you guys think this will do or accomplish? Does this erase her guilt. Does this make her feel better and help her move on even further? I haven't heard from her so obviously so far it's not been enough to make her contact me.
louxor Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 3 year relationship ended by my ex girlfriend 4 months ago. I haven't spoken to her in 3 1/2 months. Since then she has went thru 1 rebound that lasted 2 months and after it ended by her she jumped into another relationship with a new guy after 2 weeks. A mutual friend knows that I have been seeing a new girl myself. The mutual friend asked to see a picture of her and I showed her. The mutual friend was schocked at how cute the new girl is. I over exaggerated how close and much time me and the new girl were spending together. We hang out every other weekend. I mainly did it in hopes my ex gf would find out. I know this isn't enough to win her back but hey I wanted to get a jab in and not look so pathetic as the dumped who can't find another girl. Well it worked, the mutual friend told my ex gf that I was seeing a girl who is tall, blonde and beautiful. I asked if the ex had a reaction and she said a little bit but she said "good, I'm glad for him. I hope he is happy". The mutual friend said "I think he's doing good and is or has moved on" Ever since then from what I've been told, my ex has gotten really serious with guy #2. I'm wondering if this happened because it was going to happen or if the ex finding out about my new girl made her want to compete with her own guy? Was this a bad move letting her know about my new girl or does this help? Does this help release her guilt after the break up knowing I'm moving on and there is another girl? The purpose of all this is yes, I do still want my ex back. I've gotten to the point where I don't see that happening but my evil side wants to mess with her head/emotions in any way I can. I know, that's not nice and not the mature thing to do but I don't care. So what do you guys think this will do or accomplish? Does this erase her guilt. Does this make her feel better and help her move on even further? I haven't heard from her so obviously so far it's not been enough to make her contact me. Firstly I'll say that being with this other girl just so it can potentially mean that your ex might come back is incredibly selfish on your behalf. Don't be the person who uses someone else and plays games with their feelings. How would you feel if that happened to you? You can never tell how your ex truly feels about this situation, but going off what she said to the friend about it and the fact that she's with another person, I wouldn't rule out the possibility that she is genuinely happy that you are moving on and that this may lift some guilt from her conscience. Regardless of how your ex actually feels about it, if the sole purpose of being with this new girl is to try and win your ex back then you need to stop seeing her. It won't do you any good and it sure as hell won't do the new girl any good.
basil67 Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 If I were the dumper, I'd be very happy for you knowing that you had moved on. It's always rather sad when an ex lays about in self pity - so I'd be glad to know you've got yourself together and are moving on.
Author Gmuck Posted November 12, 2015 Author Posted November 12, 2015 Thanks for the reply. No, I'm with new girl cause I'm attracted to her and I like her as a person. Only thing is she is hot and cold and I'm holding back a little so I don't seem needy from what the bu did to me. She is also aware that I'm recently single and I think she's testing me to see if I'm rebounding. Which I'm not. I wouldn't hurt another by doing that. That's what my ex did to rebound guy on 2 months. I've healed enough in 3 months to see what happens with my new girl. So I wouldn't rebound on her. I thought I would ask this on LS since I was so pumped a couple weeks ago when our mutual friend told me she told my ex about other girl. Thinking that just maybe I might get a call or contact cause she's thinking she will lose me. Not looking for breadcrumbs but was thinking this would jolt her back into wanting a relationship. But so far it hasn't. It just appears that my ex has really stepped up her game with the new guy. Also right after my ex found out she was on a dating website. She met new guy on dating website within a week and they were dating a week later. Just seems like she fast forwarded with the new guy when she found out about my girl. I keep wondering if my chances were better off when she thought I wasn't seeing anyone versus now that she knows I am. I keep wondering if this pushed her to find a serious bf and get serious because she thinks I am.
Author Gmuck Posted November 12, 2015 Author Posted November 12, 2015 @basil67 - so would it was more of a torment and guilt for my ex when she thought I was sad and lonely verses now that I'm seeing someone that has released those feelings and she's happier. What if she still has some feelings and isn't 100% sure she made the right choice. Does this make her second guess her feelings. I guess I'm coming from my point of view. If I was the dumper I would be confident and feeling good knowing my ex dumpee is sad and not with anyone. It would make me feel like I could go out, date and if nothing worked out I might still have a chance with my ex. However if I still had some feelings, finding out that my ex dumpee is with someone and especially someone very attractive might make me really sit back and rethink the break up. From my point of view I would wonder if I would let the dumpee move on and maybe lose them for life. That this might be the only chance. I'm also aware that she had already thought about all of this prior to the break up. But I also know things change after you thought you had things figured out vs once it really happens.
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