TheBullFrog Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 I have moved to a new city and have been living here for 8 months. Unfortunately I haven't been able to make any friends. I work long hours and most of the people at my work are over 45. I am 31 years old (male) I came to the conclusion that I am a boring person and most of my hobbies are things you do by yourself (reading, playing video games, movies, playing guitar). So I was wondering what is the best way to meet new people? And as embarrassing as they may sound maybe meet a girl. I go to the gym but its hard to meet people that way. I was thinking of doing some kick boxing which is mixed gender. I thought of maybe doing Salsa dancing but im an introvert. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated
truthtripper Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 I have moved to a new city and have been living here for 8 months. Unfortunately I haven't been able to make any friends. I work long hours and most of the people at my work are over 45. I am 31 years old (male) I came to the conclusion that I am a boring person and most of my hobbies are things you do by yourself (reading, playing video games, movies, playing guitar). So I was wondering what is the best way to meet new people? And as embarrassing as they may sound maybe meet a girl. I go to the gym but its hard to meet people that way. I was thinking of doing some kick boxing which is mixed gender. I thought of maybe doing Salsa dancing but im an introvert. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated Any activity that involves physical contact, like kickboxing and salsa or even better, a martial art, like karate. We get to know others more easily through physical touch. Or if this doesn't suit, how about joining a book/movie discussion group? 1
juicygirl Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 Book clubs, meet up cinema groups, live musical events and I'm sure there must be some kind of video gaming events. A lot of people are in to wine tasting. Let your hobbies guide you.
SpiralOut Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 Try meetup groups. Most cities have book clubs and film discussion groups. If you have enough free time for it, consider volunteering somewhere. 1
nescafe1982 Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 I'm a big fan of sporting groups. They are natural places to meet people around a common activity and you will probably find people your own age there. Being new in town sucks. Especially if you're in a different place in life than your coworkers (age differences, relationship styles, kids or no kids, etc). 8 months is no time at all, so don't beat yourself up about not finding your niche right away. It takes time and lot of concerted effort to find new friends outside of work. Volunteering is also a fantastic idea. 1
d0nnivain Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Volunteer somewhere doing something you enjoy or care about. Answer an add to play guitar with others. Go to a MeetUp group that goes to the movies. Get involved in something work related like a continuing education thing or networking function. Reconnect with an alumni association.
jakrbbt Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 Ah, new in town, everyone busy or already entrenched or not your type friend-wise... I've been there and I feel for you. It takes awhile sometimes! My overall advice is keep trying to explore group activities even if it seems like a hassle or seems hopeless. If you even meet one friend-- someone who is interesting and fun-- that's a hugely significant thing that can affect your life positively. Totally worth slogging through uncertainty and some duds. I like the book club idea. Salsa is not at all bad for introverts--plenty of directed activity and not a ton of conversation. Fly- Fishing might be good too-- seems to attract some quality, interesting people.
casey.lives Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 you don't need to "MAKE" friends. just keep your surroundings pleasant, and people come..
Sugarkane Posted November 30, 2015 Posted November 30, 2015 To everyone that says "just make new friends". Well how do you, if you don't have a shared history etc with them?
truthtripper Posted November 30, 2015 Posted November 30, 2015 To everyone that says "just make new friends". Well how do you, if you don't have a shared history etc with them? For example, some years ago I joined a jazz dance class. After going every week and meeting the same people I made friends with some of them. The key is to have repeated exposure to the same people over months, to gradually get to know them better.
dragonfire13 Posted December 1, 2015 Posted December 1, 2015 (edited) Try Meetup.com. A lot of the events can be hit and miss but if you find a good group, you get to meet a lot of new people who are in a similar boat and the added bonus is you may come across new cool places to check out in your city. If you go enough times the odds are you'll find someone you click with. Some people do use it as a dating tool but if you don't use it for specifically that, there's a lot of fun to be had. Edited December 1, 2015 by dragonfire13
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