Keenly Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 As a daily consumer, I wouldn't be cutting out from a date to do this. Especially a first one. It's one thing if you both smoke, so you count that as part of the date, but he should be able to handle a few hours sober for a date. That's just wierd to me. 1
TexasMan68 Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 Just thank your lucky stars he wasn't a heroin addict. 1
Author edgygirl Posted November 12, 2015 Author Posted November 12, 2015 Yeah I'm starting to think he might have some mental issues... Because the truth is he was way too anxious in general, mainly before smoking. I believe most people with anxiety disorders take benzos though. More socially acceptable, specially on a first date! I am anxious at times, and I do that if I need. So I'm not judging his anxiety/stress level, just think it's strange to do that to calm down given the circumstances. I am thinking maybe because I seem so friendly and open minded in general, he felt comfy just being honest about what he was up to. As a daily consumer, I wouldn't be cutting out from a date to do this. Especially a first one. It's one thing if you both smoke, so you count that as part of the date, but he should be able to handle a few hours sober for a date. That's just wierd to me.
SmartDude Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 People would be surprised if they knew how many daily tokers there were around them. There are lots of people, myself included, who are fully functioning and super baked that you may encounter in your daily lives. It is so strange visiting places that don't have legalized cannabis. Its like going back into the 1980's. Health wise cannabis and its extracts are far healthier for a person over a lifetime than even moderate alcohol consumption. So there is no real argument that social drinkers have over cannabis users. If I asked someone in the middle of dinner if its ok for me to go away for a little toke: It is to assess this persons attitudes about smoking and possibly share with them. It is an indirect way of asking if you smoke without the possibility of dealing with a condescending attitude. 1
kismetkismet Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 It's a little odd that he would leave in the middle of a dinner to do it and that he didn't ask you to join. But I don't know if I'd write him off just yet. My current boyfriend smokes a lot, and he did smoke during our second or third date I believe. However, he waited until we were done dinner and were in between places - he also asked if i'd like to join. He did also wait until he had a little bit of a better idea how I would take that sort of thing, and was a bit embarrassed the first few times. I don't really smoke myself, but only because it gives me the munchies too badly. I drink plenty though, and I'm pretty sure I had mentioned to him that recreational drug use doesn't bother me before he excused himself for a puff.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 It's a little odd that he would leave in the middle of a dinner to do it and that he didn't ask you to join. But I don't know if I'd write him off just yet. My current boyfriend smokes a lot, and he did smoke during our second or third date I believe. However, he waited until we were done dinner and were in between places - he also asked if i'd like to join. He did also wait until he had a little bit of a better idea how I would take that sort of thing, and was a bit embarrassed the first few times. I don't really smoke myself, but only because it gives me the munchies too badly. I drink plenty though, and I'm pretty sure I had mentioned to him that recreational drug use doesn't bother me before he excused himself for a puff. This. This is the ideal way to handle it IMO. The way your guy handled it? Sounds like a coke-head.
smackie9 Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 Op I doubt hes addicted but dependent. I am a pothead myself, last night I went out for dinner with my cousin and as soon as we got outside I lit up. I smoke as regularly as a cigarette smoker and by his actions I am assuming he does too. He can smoke and still have his life together. I smoke every two hours and work a full time governmental job and upkeep a home on my own. While its a little odd he went mid convo perhaps he was really stressed and nervous it does help with that but you would think you would just smoke prior. But hes a big time smoker OP hes obviously not once in the blue he does it everyday prob like me every few hours. You'll have to decided if you can be with someone like that. You smoke every two hours? So what does it look like if someone pounded a beer every two hours? Sneak a belt out of a mickey at lunch time, then at break, maybe for the drive home...Would you not consider that person an alcoholic? lol 3
loveweary11 Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 You smoke every two hours? So what does it look like if someone pounded a beer every two hours? Sneak a belt out of a mickey at lunch time, then at break, maybe for the drive home...Would you not consider that person an alcoholic? lol To me, that's a serious addiction. Just like the friend I have who is addicted to weed and smokes the same amount. I find it strange how people addicted to weed don't consider themselves addicted, yet they can't go a day without it. As if the substance you are addicted to makes some sort of difference... I smoke here and there. Not since launching the boat due to the harsh laws (feds give you a ride you a ride to the nearest dock and you no longer own the boat). I see nothing wrong with smoking (as long as it's top quality medicinal strains or shatter! ) But when you're an addict, you're an addict. Weed addicts freak out, get anxiety and get generally jerky if the run out. 4
DrReplyInRhymes Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 (edited) To me, that's a serious addiction. Just like the friend I have who is addicted to weed and smokes the same amount. I find it strange how people addicted to weed don't consider themselves addicted, yet they can't go a day without it. As if the substance you are addicted to makes some sort of difference... I smoke here and there. Not since launching the boat due to the harsh laws (feds give you a ride you a ride to the nearest dock and you no longer own the boat). I see nothing wrong with smoking (as long as it's top quality medicinal strains or shatter! ) But when you're an addict, you're an addict. Weed addicts freak out, get anxiety and get generally jerky if the run out. It's interesting you mention this, for I have a different experience in my case, I have been a toker for most of my days, Yet, when I go 3 months without ever taking a toke, I have people accusing me of smoking....thinking they know? So that just tells me that they have no idea if I'm smoking or not, it tells me that they are against the subject entirely, not just against my plot. Some call me addicted, yet I have no problem not smoking if I don't want to, However, I'd rather be home toking ONLY IN COMPARISON WITH being home with nothing to do. Edited November 13, 2015 by DrReplyInRhymes comprehension is key.
RecentChange Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 ^^^ oh yeah. I will always remember my stoner / surfer dude (trust find) neighbor. Really nice fun guy, until he ran out of weed and became an intolerable grump. I often smoke weed daily, but have no problem skipping a dsy, or a week. I have also gone months and years without smoking. That's the difference with weed. Heavy drinker will get the DTs. A herion user will have serious physical withdrawals. A weed smoker will just be wishing they had some weed to smoke. Weed is not physically addicting, but it is habit forming, and some people do become dependent.
Omei Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 (edited) To me, that's a serious addiction. Just like the friend I have who is addicted to weed and smokes the same amount. I find it strange how people addicted to weed don't consider themselves addicted, yet they can't go a day without it. As if the substance you are addicted to makes some sort of difference... I smoke here and there. Not since launching the boat due to the harsh laws (feds give you a ride you a ride to the nearest dock and you no longer own the boat). I see nothing wrong with smoking (as long as it's top quality medicinal strains or shatter! ) But when you're an addict, you're an addict. Weed addicts freak out, get anxiety and get generally jerky if the run out. Most weed smokers can go weeks without weed. I ran out this morning and I dont get paid till a week from now am I gonna go crazy? No im just going to go about the days as normal. the idea of weed being addictive to me is silly because it's so easy not to have it. Edited November 13, 2015 by Omei
Author edgygirl Posted November 13, 2015 Author Posted November 13, 2015 I am not sure whether he asked me to join or not, I was so surprised by him saying he was going to do it mid-dinner that I kind of went uh? Okay... and didn't even pay attention to what was going on. I just laughed really. It wouldn't make sense for both of us to leave the restaurant at the same time... food and drinks were quite expensive there, and it'd look as if we were bailing (the bill, lol). What is strange is him not being able to control himself until dinner was over. If he's so hooked on it, why not have it before dinner then? Or is it a urge that usually comes out of nowhere? It's a little odd that he would leave in the middle of a dinner to do it and that he didn't ask you to join. But I don't know if I'd write him off just yet. My current boyfriend smokes a lot, and he did smoke during our second or third date I believe. However, he waited until we were done dinner and were in between places - he also asked if i'd like to join. He did also wait until he had a little bit of a better idea how I would take that sort of thing, and was a bit embarrassed the first few times. I don't really smoke myself, but only because it gives me the munchies too badly. I drink plenty though, and I'm pretty sure I had mentioned to him that recreational drug use doesn't bother me before he excused himself for a puff.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 What is strange is him not being able to control himself until dinner was over. If he's so hooked on it, why not have it before dinner then? Or is it a urge that usually comes out of nowhere? Precisely. I think he's checking with you immediately to see if this is something you're cool with. I appreciate that he's being upfront and honest. It's up to you to determine whether it's a concern for you.
Popsicle Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 If you met him thru OLD I'm not surprised at all.
kismetkismet Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 I am not sure whether he asked me to join or not, I was so surprised by him saying he was going to do it mid-dinner that I kind of went uh? Okay... and didn't even pay attention to what was going on. I just laughed really. It wouldn't make sense for both of us to leave the restaurant at the same time... food and drinks were quite expensive there, and it'd look as if we were bailing (the bill, lol). What is strange is him not being able to control himself until dinner was over. If he's so hooked on it, why not have it before dinner then? Or is it a urge that usually comes out of nowhere? Were you guys literally in the middle of eating? Or was it like.. after the meal, waiting for more drinks or something?
MissBee Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 I don't care if you smoke weed, but to excuse yourself on a date at a high end place to smoke some weed downstairs would be an absolute turn off for me. I also couldn't date a cigarette smoker. I don't mind if you smoke socially, but I have friends who when we go out have to excuse themselves multiple times to go smoke and it's rather annoying sometimes, so would prefer not to be with a man who was addicted to cigarettes/weed to the point that dates needed to be interrupted so he could smoke. It's totally up to you about whether or not this will work for you. He is unlikely to change this behavior and it may only get weirder so you have to decide if it's a deal breaker or not. 2
jay1983 Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 This is too funny. This is like something I would've done in my teens. Good times 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 This wouldn't bother me much but I like quirky people. I deal with anxiety and stress by taking benzos so I don't see how smoking pot is any worse.
Redfisher Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 I think maybe its better it came out on the first date rather then have him hide it and find out down the line if it does indeed matter...
VeveCakes Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 It's not strange at all. Maybe it's medical. The taboo around pot is so uneccessary. People who are stoned are the exact same people just feeling a little more at ease. No different than those on pills or drinking except it's a lot less harmful. If he's a pot head he's probably and awesome guy. The thought that weed smokers are addicts and lazy is nothing but a crock.
Author edgygirl Posted November 13, 2015 Author Posted November 13, 2015 I'm pretty sure it was a combo of him wanting to see if I was cool with it + ...him needing a fix Precisely. I think he's checking with you immediately to see if this is something you're cool with. I appreciate that he's being upfront and honest. It's up to you to determine whether it's a concern for you. I am not sure to be honest. Could have happened between first drinks and the meal... Really can't remember anymore lol. Were you guys literally in the middle of eating? Or was it like.. after the meal, waiting for more drinks or something? Why? What does OLD have to do with it? If you met him thru OLD I'm not surprised at all. I think I kinda feel the same: I don't care if you smoke weed, but to excuse yourself on a date at a high end place to smoke some weed downstairs would be an absolute turn off for me. Same here to be honest so I'm not sure I can even judge: This wouldn't bother me much but I like quirky people. I deal with anxiety and stress by taking benzos so I don't see how smoking pot is any worse. With this guy I feel the list might get extensive I think maybe its better it came out on the first date rather then have him hide it and find out down the line if it does indeed matter... Smoking is not taboo for me per se. But weed does nothing for me, makes me paranoid and less relaxed so I personally don't like it, for myself. So not completely sure either I'd want to be around someone who smokes every few hours. Still, I still think it's a bit much he had the urge to do it middle of a first date. The taboo around pot is so uneccessary. (...) The thought that weed smokers are addicts and lazy is nothing but a crock.
seekingpeaceinlove Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 I find it odd and a little rude that he would do that in the middle of your dinner. I was on a date with a cig smoker once and he left me in the middle of dinner for a cig break. I didn't consider it a deal breaker but it made me wonder if he any self-control at all. Could he not wait until after dinner? The action made him look rude. Anyways, it does sound like he's dependent on weed. Give him a chance and see if you can deal with dating someone who will likely be smoking continously.
Omei Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 It's not strange at all. Maybe it's medical. The taboo around pot is so uneccessary. People who are stoned are the exact same people just feeling a little more at ease. No different than those on pills or drinking except it's a lot less harmful. If he's a pot head he's probably and awesome guy. The thought that weed smokers are addicts and lazy is nothing but a crock. Thank you sir, a lot of us smokers work extremely hard and have our **** together just as much as the next person who doesnt smoke.
loveweary11 Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 Thank you sir, a lot of us smokers work extremely hard and have our **** together just as much as the next person who doesnt smoke. So do a lot of coke heads. They run wall street, are celebrities, etc. Doesn't make it appealing to the person dating them, nor healthy.
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