No_Go Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 I live in a boring Midwestern state. I don't think it's the location. First 6 months on the market I attracted low quality men. Then I had a 3 month fling and then I attracted much higher quality men. I changed my profile and also I became very confident. Men didn't really dare not try to impress from that point on. Hm maybe you're right, and it is about the confidence that the woman exerts. But most of the guys (out of 10 or so that I dated, 6/7 maybe) were "quality" men, just didn't tryed to impress me by paying - else they were gentlemanly, opening doors, cooking for me etc. I'm on the East coast if it matters, maybe men here are less traditional... I'd never know. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 I imagine that if all women came with a money-back guarantee, we would not be having this debate. You can ask them for your money back, like my guy did. I call him "the pole guy", because he walked into a pole when we were walking out of the restaurant and he was saying goodbye to me. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Hm maybe you're right, and it is about the confidence that the woman exerts. But most of the guys (out of 10 or so that I dated, 6/7 maybe) were "quality" men, just didn't tryed to impress me by paying - else they were gentlemanly, opening doors, cooking for me etc. I'm on the East coast if it matters, maybe men here are less traditional... I'd never know. I dunno. Are YOU traditional? Do you give off that vibe? When do they have the chance to "cook for you"? That's code for sex. Mine have that chance to "cook for me" several weeks-months after the first meet. Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Well I've always been career focused, not rich yet but busy... if that makes a difference. The cooking guys all turned into boyfriends These were 3 out of the 10 men that I dated, including my current BF. Cooking / home invites happened after 3 dates usually, sex - also at 3-5 dates (haha just recalled one guy that just used to cook and bring me food for outdoor dates so cooking is not necessarily an invitation for sex ) I dunno, I haven't dated until my late 20s, and felt too old for waiting games when I finally started to, maybe that was read as "non-traditional" or feminist, although it is not the case I dunno. Are YOU traditional? Do you give off that vibe? When do they have the chance to "cook for you"? That's code for sex. Mine have that chance to "cook for me" several weeks-months after the first meet. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Well I've always been career focused, not rich yet but busy... if that makes a difference. The cooking guys all turned into boyfriends These were 3 out of the 10 men that I dated, including my current BF. Cooking / home invites happened after 3 dates usually, sex - also at 3-5 dates (haha just recalled one guy that just used to cook and bring me food for outdoor dates so cooking is not necessarily an invitation for sex ) I dunno, I haven't dated until my late 20s, and felt too old for waiting games when I finally started to, maybe that was read as "non-traditional" or feminist, although it is not the case Hey, you have a boyfriend, so it doesn't matter 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Heatherknows Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Simple first meets are great...With my current girl it was a take out coffee, a blanket on the ground beside the river and we talked for hours....Then made out like high school kids...Haha, Honestly I have been finding the 30 to 40 year old girls love making out more then the girls from my high school days..Awesome. But you also seem like a nice guy who likes women which comes thru on this forum. If a man is sweet, funny and good hearted coffee over looking the water can be an awesome date. If you were nasty and cynical the date would be horrible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redfisher Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 (edited) But you also seem like a nice guy who likes women which comes thru on this forum. If a man is sweet, funny and good hearted coffee over looking the water can be an awesome date. If you were nasty and cynical the date would be horrible. Thanks! I get told I'm nice a lot. I enjoy making girls smile, Makes me feel good inside. But yeah I understand what you are saying, I can't understand most guys. Also I do not understand why most advice is not to be a nice guy cause they won't want you or respect you...It works for me, Maybe the age is a factor. Edited November 18, 2015 by Redfisher 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Thanks! I get told I'm nice a lot. I enjoy making girls smile, Makes me feel good inside. But yeah I understand what you are saying, I can't understand most guys. Also I do not understand why most advice is not to be a nice guy cause they won't want you or respect you...It works for me, Maybe the age is a factor. I'd say the age group you are dating in is a factor. Both men and women are a bit stupid, vain and difficult in relationships under 30. IDK, it seems like everyone starts out thinking they can do better then gradually comes to the realisation if they want to do better, they have to be better. Thirties and beyond I think is where dating gets good because most people have had their narcissism issues worked out by that stage and are ready to just get real with each other. I think your first date idea is just about perfect. I'd prefer that over anything else if I'm being honest. Botanic gardens are probably my #1 date location if the weather's good. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Redfisher Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 I'd say the age group you are dating in is a factor. Both men and women are a bit stupid, vain and difficult in relationships under 30. IDK, it seems like everyone starts out thinking they can do better then gradually comes to the realisation if they want to do better, they have to be better. Thirties and beyond I think is where dating gets good because most people have had their narcissism issues worked out by that stage and are ready to just get real with each other. I think your first date idea is just about perfect. I'd prefer that over anything else if I'm being honest. Botanic gardens are probably my #1 date location if the weather's good. Makes sense! Something along the lines of having already made ones life mistakes comes to mind. And yeah who would not enjoy kissing at a Botanic garden? Awesomely hot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 For outdoorsy people, a first date/meet outside is perfect. I can't stand coffee meetings for a first date. My current BF, we met at a small, independent bookstore, then walked around outside in the + 4 temps. We both knew right there that neither one of us was joshing about liking the outdoors... And getting into some winter sports. Link to post Share on other sites
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