dads new boyfriend Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I invited a girl from POF to go out for a drink. The night before the date she said that we should get dinner instead and i agreed. She didn't offer to split the bill at the end even though it was her idea to go out for a meal and we played a couple of games of air hockey afterwards and i even ended up paying for that as well. Now she wants us to play badminton (she probably expects me to pay for that too lol) but now i'm unsure if I should bother so i'm thinking of just inviting her to my place "to watch a movie" and if she doesn't go then just disregarding her. It's unlikely that she would go because she seems quite conservative. If it wasn't for her acting like a princess then i would really want to see her again. I'm usually a bit shy when i first meet someone but with her i felt no awkwardness at all and we got on really well and had a laugh so i don't know if i'm overreacting? Link to post Share on other sites
Vintage79 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 It's up to you about whether or not this bothers you enough - if paying was an issue for you, you should have commented on it at the time... 11 Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Allot of women are like that, their not cheap.... guys have taught them it is the preferred way of doing things. Just politely ask her if it is ok with her to share the bill, if she is a half decent person she will be happy to do so. on the other hand, if she seems offended, then it is a red flag 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 It's only money, but if it bothers you, tell her how you feel about it. Or walk away. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 .. if you want the chance to get inside her panties down the road then being the take charge type of male and buying dinner and dates is the way to go, otherwise expecting a woman to pay for dates is going to make you dateless in the end... I tried to break it down into words you might understand rather than type out what I normally do.. Your Choice... 6 Link to post Share on other sites
doeblin Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 It's alright for the first couple of dates, if everything else is good (and the stuff is not too expensive). After the first couple of dates though, maybe she should make an effort. Like making you dinner etc. From the other "Who pays?" threads you can see that there's still a surprising number of women, who consider it obvious, that the man pays. In the medium-long run it should be 50-50, I think. There are plenty of threads about this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dads new boyfriend Posted November 11, 2015 Author Share Posted November 11, 2015 (edited) .. if you want the chance to get inside her panties down the road then being the take charge type of male and buying dinner and dates is the way to go, otherwise expecting a woman to pay for dates is going to make you dateless in the end... I tried to break it down into words you might understand rather than type out what I normally do.. Your Choice... I would have had no problem buying her dinner and would have insisted on paying if she had offered to split the bill. Her attitude is what is making me doubt whether or not I should continue dating her, or if I should try to just make it a casual thing. Edited November 12, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed rude poke Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 If I liked badminton, or wanted to have some fun playing badminton, or pool, or miniature golf, or any activity, I'd go, pay, flirt, do what men dating women do and, said and done, decide if I wanted to show up again. The purpose of dating is getting to know someone and romantic and sexual style is part of that. Otherwise, friends treat each other. If she's not responsive to your romantic overtures, move on. Otherwise, your life work funds her fun. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 If it wasn't for her acting like a princess then i would really want to see her again. Well she DID act like a "princess" (in your opinion anyway)... so based on that alone.... why are even contemplating seeing her again? Just move on and find a chick who doesn't act all "princessy" in your opinion. And let HER find a guy who doesn't mind paying for those first couple of dates.... without him resenting her and deeming her a "princess" for letting him. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I don't think this is a problem on the first date. But if this happens repeatedly than you need to seriously consider the possibility that she is using you as an ATM. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 What's your financial situation? If you're a student, she should have offered to pay half. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Ha, ha, A_C and I are old farts and life in the dating world has apparently changed markedly since we were both dating. Women of our generation, even today, select among the men who meet their dating standards, and guys who grouse about paying, all else being equal, are generally dismissed. Why? Because other men, with the same attributes and attractiveness, will pay. Simple mathematics. Fiscal conservatism. Win 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I think it's rude not to offer to chip in, especially given that she upgraded your date from drinks to dinner. I don't blame you for losing interest. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Siquijor Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I invited a girl from POF to go out for a drink. The night before the date she said that we should get dinner instead and i agreed. She didn't offer to split the bill...... Heard enough. Yup, dump her! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 (edited) Why are you so tight with money? Most girls know that there are men who will treat them to dates. So why would they settle for men who always need to split? My two female friends get taken out and treated to their dates. I wouldn't feel good knowing my mates get treated by generous men while I have to always pay my own way ) I don't date men who split the bills. I prefer men who treat me when it comes to dates. It just feels more romantic and I feel pampered and feminine when the man takes me out. But....and a huge BUT.........I spoil men right back....while I feel that the man should be the gender to take their ladies out and make them feel special, I ABSOLUTELY believe in spending the same amount on the man, by doing other cool things (such as paying 200 one weekend on taking him to a race track and hiring a race car for him to drive laps with for a few hours) or in MY case, I got my partner the latest S6 Edge smart phone! She may be like me; very generous but prefers the traditional role of the man paying for the romantic side of things (dates....) I certainly don't accept further dates from men who ask to split a 50 dollar dinner bill. I need a man who works fll time and can afford to spoil his special girl) plus It's cheap, and makes him look like he won't be the type to spoil you or make you feel special on your birthday. ....... (the type to only buy chocolates year after year than ever spoil you with jewellery ) Edited November 11, 2015 by Leigh 87 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Maxtor Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 If she invites, she pays End of story. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Maxtor Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Why are you so tight with money? Most girls know that there are men who will treat them to dates. So why would they settle for men who always need to split? My two female friends get taken out and treated to their dates. I wouldn't feel good knowing my mates get treated by generous men while I have to always pay my own way ) I don't date men who split the bills. I prefer men who treat me when it comes to dates. It just feels more romantic and I feel pampered and feminine when the man takes me out. But....and a huge BUT.........I spoil men right back....while I feel that the man should be the gender to take their ladies out and make them feel special, I ABSOLUTELY believe in spending the same amount on the man, by doing other cool things (such as paying 200 one weekend on taking him to a race track and hiring a race car for him to drive laps with for a few hours) or in MY case, I got my partner the latest S6 Edge smart phone! She may be like me; very generous but prefers the traditional role of the man paying for the romantic side of things (dates....) I certainly don't accept further dates from men who ask to split a 50 dollar dinner bill. I need a man who works fll time and can afford to spoil his special girl) plus It's cheap, and makes him look like he won't be the type to spoil you or make you feel special on your birthday. ....... (the type to only buy chocolates year after year than ever spoil you with jewellery ) Vitalyzdtv has met many girls like you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I invited a girl from POF to go out for a drink. The night before the date she said that we should get dinner instead and i agreed. She didn't offer to split the bill at the end even though it was her idea to go out for a meal and we played a couple of games of air hockey afterwards and i even ended up paying for that as well. If the original plan had remained intact, I might be inclined to go along with those who say he should have paid. But when she decided to change the evening from a relatively inexpensive drink to a much larger outing (dinner and maybe still a drink or two), she should be prepared to pay. Now, perhaps lots of guys, including the OP, would refuse to allow her to do so, but her refusal to even offer to contribute in any way to the date SHE suggested is indeed princessy. OP, if you like her, ask her out again but make sure it is something low budget or even free. At some point, assuming things progress, you can discuss whether/how to share expenses. If you invite her to your place to "watch a movie," she will interpret this to mean that you want sex, and that may well put the kibosh on any relationship plans you may have. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
schiller Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I dated a girl a while back, a cute redhead I med online. We went out a half dozen times over a few week period and things were going well except I was paying for the dinners, and I don't mind.. to a point. I expect her to ultimatly turn around and whip out her purse, even if it's not a 50/50 thing, at least often enough that I don't feel used. I'm an upfront sort of guy, if it's on my mind its out of my mouth. So I said to her, "when are you going to get the tab"? She replied "I expect the guy to pay, I'm an old-fashioned gal". I knew then it would be our last date. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I'm not sure what else you've seen or heard that gives you the impression she is a "princess". Not offering to pay for a first date alone, doesn't mean she is a princess. I would go on another date (if you really like her) and go some where within your financial means and plan on paying for it. Give her a chance and see what happens. I always pay for the first date. I've had a few women ask to split it and I tell them that no, I've got this one. If I feel like continuing the date, I ask her if she wants to go see a movie and she can pay for that if she wants to. My ex used to tell me that "the man always pays". I use to tell her that "yes, in the end, the man always does pay". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dads new boyfriend Posted November 11, 2015 Author Share Posted November 11, 2015 Why are you so tight with money? ... So why would they settle for men who always need to split? I'm not tight at all. In my last relationship I booked surprise holidays and treated my ex quite often. I was happy to pay for the first date with this girl, it's just the fact that she never offered to split it when she was the one who asked me to go for a meal. Regarding your question, why would a guy settle for a girl who puts herself on a pedestal and expects the guy to buy her affection when he could meet a down to earth girl who is happy to split? 7 Link to post Share on other sites
schiller Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 it's just the fact that she never offered to split it when she was the one who asked me to go for a meal. I completely agree. Who is she to expect that you'll treat her to dinner when she's the one who suggested it? We have penises therefore we should pay? These same women that sit there with a smile when the check comes are the same one's battling for so called "equal rights for women". When I'm online dating, having learned the heard way, I NEVER make the first meetup a dinner date, because the odds are over 80% that I'll be looking at and listening to a girl who was deceptive in her profile, who I know I'll never want to ever see again, and to add insult to injury I'm paying to watch her stuff her fat ugly face. In this case the Op was trapped- she suggested making it a dinner date, so what do you say to that? "No, because I don't know if you're fat and ugly" or "Ok but you suggested it so you pay"? No good answer comes to mind. I don't think there IS a good answer other than to go with it and expect to get screwed (figuratively speaking). If she invites, she pays End of story. Yeah, except, she didn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Iceshowers Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I'm a female, and I'm kind of in the middle when it comes to this. I do like and prefer for a man to pay for the date. It's romantic and also shows that he's willing to invest more than his time on you. BUT, I'm an independent woman and kinda iffy when others (not just man) try to do things for me, because in the past, I have had people throw it in my face "how much they did for me" and I don't want some date to say "how much he's paid for me". So, because of that mentality, I do offer to split OR have just taken the receipt and paid it before the guy grabbed it. A gentleman would "insist" on still paying and not just sit there looking like a fool lol. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
schiller Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 A gentleman would "insist" on still paying and not just sit there looking like a fool lol. That's why it's a bad situation. I'm pretty outspoken but I don't think I'd say anything on the first date such as "we gonna split this?". At this point I WOULD say something to her.. something like "sure we can meet again for dinner (or whatever) but just so you know I'm the type of guy who likes to split things- perhaps I'm a bit sensitive having been used in the past- so the next one is on you". If she isn't good with it, then better to find out now before the next check is due. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 This thread is just more evidence why a first meet should be really low key. Why would anyone want to buy dinner for a stranger? Save that for date #2 or 3. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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