My boyfriend ended things for 2 reasons: he feels like he needs to redefine himself a

[MiaMckenz]

my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. He's 28 and i'm 26. His financial situation isn't good and it's always been that way since we've been together. He doesn't make much money at all and pays for alot. Fast forwarding to now, he's feeling overwhelmed over his financial situation and he feels like he needs to make his situation better alone. This hurts so bad because i've been with him for years now with his financial situation, so why break things off now? I told him that we shouldn't break up over money, and i know that things will get better eventually. He knows i'm frustrated, but i'm willing to stick by him. This past Saturday he told me that he knows how much he loves me, he knows he's going to marry me, and how he's going to propose but he feels like he needs to be single right now. He said that it's okay if i date other people cause he knows that's going to happen, and for me to know that he can't be the boyfriend i need him to be for me right now or move forward with our future when he gets his financial situation together. He also told me that he feels like he needs to redfine his identify as a man; he feels like he needs to find himself as a man outside of a relationship. I just don't agree.He's waiting till now to tell me this. I'm just so hurt, I can't put it into words. After our conversation, we went ou sepearate ways. We aren't together anymore, but he called me 2 days ago just to talk but I didn't stay on the phone long. I couldn't. He also texted me to have a nice day yesterday, but i couldn't respond becuase i was feeing too hurt at that time. I was thinking of contacting him and suggesting couples therapy? Some advice would really help.

[basil67]

A good partner - one who's good for the long haul - will work through their stuff while still in the relationship. And couple's therapy only works if he wants to be with you...which he doesn't.

 

This guy's gut is telling him that the relationship isn't right and he's using whatever explanation he can to get himself out. All this stuff he's saying about the future....take it all with a rather large grain of salt. Within a few months, he'll have moved on. or perhaps he'll still be stringing you along with vague references about the future. But either way, the two of you won't be together if left up to him.

 

If you really don't want to move on, then tell him that you're not OK with this situation of being his 'someday' dream. Tell him it's all or nothing. And if he doesn't want to get back together, make it clear that you want no further contact with him.

 

Honestly, you shouldn't accept him treating you like this

[Silver_star]

When a guy tells you he needs to be single. Walk away.

Believe him that he isn't as invested as you are in the relationship.

He is risking losing you forever. You deserve better than a guy who doesn't know what he has. Especially because he doesn't have much going for him right now you would think he would want to hold onto the one thing he is certain makes him happy. Sounds like he's not so sure about that. Sounds like he sees you as an obligation instead of a girlfriend.

Walk away. Let him do his "growing" and you go do yours.