Ic1 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Last night I met a girl who was meeting me as her first date through online. We talked a bit about horror stories of online characters and dating standards these days in sarcasm. But the night went so well, we certainly had quite a connection by the end of the date. I can tell she'd probably be fine meeting noone else through the website, but what's on my mind is that I'm her only one met. She's not fresh from a relationship and on rebound. But should I suggest she meet one or two more guys, just to be sure I'm the one that makes her happiest? Go ahead and think it's a cliche, but I'm happy making a woman happiest. I would want to make sure I'm what's best for her.
Vintage79 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 I wouldn't worry about it - believe it or not, most people meet plenty of people elsewhere. If she wants to date more/others, she will - just give her that opportunity for the next month or two before attempting to make anything exclusive if it's a major concern for you.
fitnessfan365 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Nothing says "I'm interested" like recommending she go out with other guys. If you had a good time w/her, don't worry about who else she's dating. Just take it one date at a time and see where it goes. 4
smackie9 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Do you lack much confidence in yourself? Ask her out on a date and take her out. Stop second guessing yourself. If you like her make the effort. It only takes one to start a relationship.
schiller Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 But should I suggest she meet one or two more guys, just to be sure I'm the one that makes her happiest? Yes, recommend she go out with other guys just to be sure. But considering that most guys online are losers, or are only after sex, she'll need to meet a lot more than 2. In order to be truly certain that you are "the one" she needs to date at least 100 other men. Even that is a relatively small sample size but there are limits of practicality here. So give her the homework assignment and tell her you'll be waiting when she's done with "Mr. 100".
introverted1 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Why do you think you know better than she does how many guys she has to meet before she can be content not meeting any more? Assume she is an adult who knows her own wants and desires. Let her be responsible for her, and you be responsible for you. Hope it works out. 4
Author Ic1 Posted November 11, 2015 Author Posted November 11, 2015 Nothing says "I'm interested" like recommending she go out with other guys. Might help to note I care more about other's happiness than simply what's best for my own. Do you lack much confidence in yourself? Ask her out on a date and take her out. Stop second guessing yourself. If you like her make the effort. It only takes one to start a relationship. No I lack no confidence, and we already have plans for tomorrow. It's just that I got a strong impression she's a strongly dedicated woman, and I wouldn't want her to commit to one too quick.
Author Ic1 Posted November 11, 2015 Author Posted November 11, 2015 Why do you think you know better than she does how many guys she has to meet before she can be content not meeting any more? Assume she is an adult who knows her own wants and desires. Let her be responsible for her, and you be responsible for you. Hope it works out. Very good point. This makes me confident in me being her choice. I suppose I'll just enjoy time with her, and have more of it. 2
PrettyEmily77 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 (edited) I actually (briefly) considered suggesting something along those lines to my BF when we met, upon the advice of a couple of posters here. He'd been divorced a year after a 16 year marriage and I flipped about possibly being a rebound bc I was the first woman he'd dated after his divorce. Long story short, I'm really glad I didn't... I told him recently and he looked at me in complete horror; he was totally shocked and couldn't believe I'd even considered it. Told me he knew himself well enough to know what he wants and what's right for him. 8 months on, things are still great. I guess if your lady wanted to see other people, she'll go for it without waiting foryour permission . I wouldn't sweat it, and just trust her to make the right decision for herself. Edited November 11, 2015 by PrettyEmily77 3
thecrucible Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 I suppose you don't really know enough about her relationship history at this point to come to any conclusions. I'd continue seeing her and assume she knows what she wants. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 Might help to note I care more about other's happiness than simply what's best for my own. To play Devil's Advocate.. Let's say she's happy with how well the date went and wants to see you again. Then you tell her it's fine if she dates other guys that aren't you. She'll probably be disappointed and take it as a lack of interest on your part. So making a woman that wants to keep seeing you think you're not interested won't do much for her happiness level..LOL
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