Concerned1983 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 My bf of 9 months went back to his wife for their son and also because she threatened him. We were so in love with each other it was crazy. All my friends and I thought he was the one. He came to me and told me everything that happened. He was always very honest with me about his feelings for me. They had been separated for almost 2 years before this all happened. We were living together and I treated his son like he was one of my own. She never showed him respect our love from what he told me and that he never loved her the way he loved me. She was never there for him or supported him. They have been back together for 3 months now. I haven't heard a word from him in over a month. I'd this a bad sign? Will he come back? I miss him more and more everyday. What should I do to get him back out should I even bother? HELP!!!
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 He chose his wife & son. He's not going to leave his kid for you. It's been 90 days. You need to start doing what's best for you in terms of healing & moving on. Your friends were wrong. Anybody who tells you that a man who is not yet divorced is the ONE for you is telling you what you want to hear. 2
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 My bf of 9 months went back to his wife for their son and also because she threatened him. We were so in love with each other it was crazy. All my friends and I thought he was the one. He came to me and told me everything that happened. He was always very honest with me about his feelings for me. They had been separated for almost 2 years before this all happened. We were living together and I treated his son like he was one of my own. She never showed him respect our love from what he told me and that he never loved her the way he loved me. She was never there for him or supported him. They have been back together for 3 months now. I haven't heard a word from him in over a month. I'd this a bad sign? Will he come back? I miss him more and more everyday. What should I do to get him back out should I even bother? HELP!!! If you're going entirely by what he told you, then my dear, you've been had. How did she threaten him? There are laws against that kind of behaviour you know. And why on earth should she show her cheating husband any respect, when he's having an affair with someone who feels she's entitled to contribute to the breaking-up of a family? You should never have met his son, let alone had any access to him. Way to go to screw with a young kid's head.... No. He won't be back. This long? He might come crawling back at some point for some surreptitious sex, but he's gone really.....
pidgeon1010 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 BIG RED FLAG- Separated for two years with no divorce in sight. That is always a tell tale sign the relationship is more than likely over before it started. DO NOT EVER start a relationship with a separated men. It usually never ends well. He left you to go back to his wife and son. Unfortunately this doesn't bode well for reconciliation. Beware of him coming back when things get difficult so you become the side chick waiting for him to leave his wife.
Author Concerned1983 Posted November 11, 2015 Author Posted November 11, 2015 She was dating and sleeping with other people too. He had moved out and had his own bank acct and cell phone. She was buying the house from him and everything. He had signed his party of the divorce papers. She is the one that hasn't signed. She threatened to take the kids and move back to her hometown.
LostInNC Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 I saw the signs in the first sentence...."went back to his wife...the man was still married. I don't think he may have been too honest with his feelings. I am sorry you were treated this way but you should probably move on.
Author Concerned1983 Posted November 11, 2015 Author Posted November 11, 2015 They hadn't been together in over 11 months before we stayed dating. He pursued me not the other way around. He did all the work. He told me he loved me first and that he wanted to marry me. I let him set the pace.
ManyDissapoint Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 This sounds like some crap behavior. Really sorry that happened to you. I guess you know his true colors. You were a sort of stepping stone to him.
stillafool Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 My bf of 9 months went back to his wife for their son and also because she threatened him. We were so in love with each other it was crazy. All my friends and I thought he was the one. He came to me and told me everything that happened. He was always very honest with me about his feelings for me. They had been separated for almost 2 years before this all happened. We were living together and I treated his son like he was one of my own. She never showed him respect our love from what he told me and that he never loved her the way he loved me. She was never there for him or supported him. They have been back together for 3 months now. I haven't heard a word from him in over a month. I'd this a bad sign? Will he come back? I miss him more and more everyday. What should I do to get him back out should I even bother? HELP!!! Threatened him with what? He could still get visitation rights with his son. This is just something he has told you, he went back because that's where he wanted to be. He could have divorced her, married you and still see his son. BTW, MM pretty much always use this same excuse when they want to go back home.
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 They hadn't been together in over 11 months before we stayed dating. He pursued me not the other way around. He did all the work. He told me he loved me first and that he wanted to marry me. I let him set the pace. I'm not blaming you. But the fact remains, when push came to shove, he voted with his feet & he picked her. Knowing that, what are you going to do now, to self soothe & move yourself forward?
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 She was dating and sleeping with other people too. He had moved out and had his own bank acct and cell phone. She was buying the house from him and everything. He had signed his party of the divorce papers. She is the one that hasn't signed. She threatened to take the kids and move back to her hometown. How do you know all this? Have you seen the evidence with your own eyes?
TaraMaiden2 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Yet he still went back to her. And he's still with her. And he's there because ultimately, that's what he's chosen. The 'reward' over the 'risk'. Don't you get it? You need to get it.
schiller Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 She was dating and sleeping with other people too. He had moved out and had his own bank acct and cell phone. She was buying the house from him and everything. He had signed his party of the divorce papers. She is the one that hasn't signed. She threatened to take the kids and move back to her hometown. By all accounts it appeared that the marriage was over, it's not one of those cases where you blindly dated a guy who was married without knowing the full story. But it doesn't matter now. Just gives more credibility to the strategy of never ever dating a person who is separated but not yet divorced. Sometimes even they don't know what they might do.
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