CBA Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 I have been dating this particular girl for about 6 weeks (6 dates) we've done nice dinners, hiking, walking around NYC, watching netflix, so there's been good variety. I've planned every date, though I've asked her what she wants to do a few times and she always says "anything is fine." She has a much more active social life than I do since she went to school in NY and all of her friends ended up here too, while I went to school in the Midwest so my friends aren't really around (we're both 22, right out of college). We were supposed to go on a triple date this Friday with two mutual friend couples but that got canceled. I need to figure out something else for us to do, and I've got nothing. She's very social and has told me "I can't just sit around, I always need to be doing something" so I feel a compelling need to plan something good. I can afford a nice dinner and a cheap activity but a broadway show or something might be a bit steep, especially with two tickets and the inevitable dinner too. How can I be original?
PegNosePete Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 After planning (and presumably paying for) 6 dates, I think it's time she started pulling her weight. Sure it's the guy's job to plan and pay for the first dates but there comes a time where it becomes a 2-way street. IMO, after 6, you should be taking turns. Not strictly, as in counting, but she should certainly be making just as much effort as you. If she's not then I would question whether she's really committed, or just using you for free entertainment and meals. 2
angel.eyes Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Escape the RoomCentral Park zooWhen it gets colder, ice skating in Bryant ParkWalk through the High Line at sunset Comedy show...some places like Gotham are free on certain nights, but they do have a drink/good minimum It's also okay this far in to tell her to plan a date. Go ahead and plan this date, but ask her to plan the one after that. Keep it light when you do ask. 2
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 OMG. Original in NYC is almost too easy. What's your budget? On the cheap side: Any museum play tourist -- fun pictures on the lions at the library; walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, take a ride on the Staten island ferry Walk the highline & then hang out to play a game of some sort (invest in pocket scrabble or some such game) browse the art galleries in soho Go to the cloisters Go to Coney Island & have a Nathan's Hot Dog people watch in Times Square Shop Chelsea market or catch a Food Channel taping Attend the tree lighting or at least go visit it Watch the Thanksgiving Day parade live A bit more expensive: go to a comedy club (tickets are about $15 each but they "get" you on the 2 drink minimum visit the Intrepid bowling, golf or trapeze at Chelsea piers have a drink or lunch at some place iconic an off Broadway play or theater workshop visit a bar / club to see a cool band go to the James Beard Foundation for a tasting Expensive but memorable a charity / party / benefit for your favorite cause. My favorite included the Valentine's day bash at the Guggenheim (partly because I need alcohol to make any kind of sense of the "art" in that place) and the party for the Central Park conservancy (but that is in the summer) tickets to a home game -- the sport is up to you but it's not like you don't have choices Horse & carriage ride cliched but memorable an off season trip to the Hamptons a Broadway play or concert Dinner at someplace iconic or hard to get reservations Sky's the Limit Helicopter ride over the city a weekend at Mohonk New York Spa Resort | Mohonk Mountain House 1
Ami1uwant Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 I agree with others..you have dated her 6 times snd she can't set up the date?
Author CBA Posted November 11, 2015 Author Posted November 11, 2015 Escape the RoomCentral Park zooWhen it gets colder, ice skating in Bryant ParkWalk through the High Line at sunset Comedy show...some places like Gotham are free on certain nights, but they do have a drink/good minimum It's also okay this far in to tell her to plan a date. Go ahead and plan this date, but ask her to plan the one after that. Keep it light when you do ask. I think I'll ask her to plan the next one. High line we've done, zoo sounds like a great daytime plan. Comedy club might be the move for this Friday, thanks for that suggestion!
Author CBA Posted November 11, 2015 Author Posted November 11, 2015 I agree with others..you have dated her 6 times snd she can't set up the date? She has this nonchalance about what we do, seems okay with anything. She has paid for some stuff and offered other times when I've insisted, so I don't think she's just using me for free meals. Not to mention I've slept over once and we were both sober. Another added difficulty, she has this glamorous job where she gets free dinners at the top restaurants in the city, plus tickets to events and stuff, so she just seems hard to impress (and is busy most nights). But at the same time she is not materialistic and is pretty down to earth so the circumstances of her job don't make her a superficial person or anything.
Author CBA Posted November 11, 2015 Author Posted November 11, 2015 go to a comedy club (tickets are about $15 each but they "get" you on the 2 drink minimum ... visit a bar / club to see a cool band Both good ideas. Comedy club... How do you pick one? There are so many. And the bar/club to see a band idea. She'd be really into that but it's not something I've done much of. I have no clue about how to find a band that's playing or to know whether they're worth seeing. (Not going to fool her into thinking that I'm up on the hot new bands, lol. I'm actually more of a classical music guy myself, but I'm open to most music.)
seekingluck Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 I love art galleries and museums. Just about every museum has a free day once a month and sometimes more frequently. Pick a museum that has something she is into. The MTA museum in downtown Brooklyn is really fun. They have old subway cars in an old subway station. You can run atound and act like a kid by taking silly photos. Do a short bike ride. Grab some citi bikes and ride along the Hudson. Totally low stress in the bike lane. You can ride around to Battery Park and phave a snavk or picnic. I had a great NYC date this weekend. One of the highlights was the cheapest part. We went to Times Square and went to the tourist shops. My date suggested a game. We each had to pick out something rudiculous for the other person to wear. Then we took a pic. Then we had to go make a reservation. But this would be fun for a few stops. Last idea, since it is winter you can do a tea/coffee/hot chocolate crawl. Pick a few places in walking distance, and get an iconic cupmof something. You can share a cup, have themes to try, think about tasting notes. Or whatever you like. There are so many iconic cups of hot stuff you can have, and it is a cheap date. .
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Both good ideas. Comedy club... How do you pick one? There are so many. And the bar/club to see a band idea. She'd be really into that but it's not something I've done much of. I have no clue about how to find a band that's playing or to know whether they're worth seeing. (Not going to fool her into thinking that I'm up on the hot new bands, lol. I'm actually more of a classical music guy myself, but I'm open to most music.) At the low end (unless you are going to specifically see somebody famous) just go to the club nearest to where you are. We often go to the one on 2nd Ave in the 80s. I can't remember the name but it's the one closest to where we stay in the City. Since you prefer classical music, take her to hear some. I should get you involved in a charity the name of which escapes me at the moment but they raise $$ to keep music education in public school & to give kids outlets for classical music. They have a big concert at Carnegie hall every year in May. Watch the TV station NYOne to get hints about other cool stuff going on. Also read the Village Voice & the back of the New Yorker magazine for ideas.
smackie9 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Take salsa dance lessons or something of that nature that would put you out of your comfort zone. Or at least take her out dancing at a lively club.
smackie9 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 If she is the outdoors type rent some ATVs and go out and burn up the bush, later build a bonfire have some beers. Or take her to a local playhouse to see a play.
angel.eyes Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Both good ideas. Comedy club... How do you pick one? There are so many. And the bar/club to see a band idea. She'd be really into that but it's not something I've done much of. I have no clue about how to find a band that's playing or to know whether they're worth seeing. (Not going to fool her into thinking that I'm up on the hot new bands, lol. I'm actually more of a classical music guy myself, but I'm open to most music.) The best comedy clubs tend to be in the Village or midtown. Here are some ideas that account for your budget: Peoples Improv Theater (The PIT)Comedy CellarGotham Comedy Club Upright Citizens BrigadeEastville Comedy Club (a bit divey)Cafe Wha? (live music and comedy, but not the best wait staff service...somewhat erratic) You can pick comedy clubs based on their headliners if you want, but the first three often have super huge names drop in unannounced. In terms of music, if you're more of a classical music guy, maybe try live jazz together first. You have access to some of the best jazz and the best jazz club scene in the world. My advice: pick activities that you think she might like, but things she hasn't experienced before. Trying to impress her by picking things that she has more experience with than you tends to be a fool's errand. Throw in budget constraints and you're making it even tougher on yourself. Have fun!
oberkeat Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 I have been dating this particular girl for about 6 weeks (6 dates) we've done nice dinners, hiking, walking around NYC, watching netflix, so there's been good variety. I've planned every date, though I've asked her what she wants to do a few times and she always says "anything is fine." She has a much more active social life than I do since she went to school in NY and all of her friends ended up here too, while I went to school in the Midwest so my friends aren't really around (we're both 22, right out of college). We were supposed to go on a triple date this Friday with two mutual friend couples but that got canceled. I need to figure out something else for us to do, and I've got nothing. She's very social and has told me "I can't just sit around, I always need to be doing something" so I feel a compelling need to plan something good. I can afford a nice dinner and a cheap activity but a broadway show or something might be a bit steep, especially with two tickets and the inevitable dinner too. How can I be original? Have you two had sex yet?
Author CBA Posted November 11, 2015 Author Posted November 11, 2015 Have you two had sex yet? We've gotten as far as 3rd, and on that night, the 5th date, I stayed over at her place. (I live with my parents for completely justifiable reasons not worth explaining now - she knows and completely understands.)
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