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Why do guys ogle and drool over other women when they're out w/ their gf?

honeybunch2k5

By honeybunch2k5
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honeybunch2k5 Established Member

honeybunch2k5

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Why do guys have to drool over other women when they're out w/ their gf's? Me, my boyfriend, and one of his friends went to a pizza place to eat. Just so happened a buxom lady with her shirt unbottoned comes in. We were sitting next to the food, and of course the woman stands in front of us. He was looking at her ass and it was like his jaw hit the floor. The whole night he and his friend were making comments about how they could see her bra and what not. This was going on until she left. I mean he's probably going to look, he has eyes, but he could at least keep them in his head!

 

It wouldn't bother me so much if he would take the time to tell me i'm hot. I tell him he's cute all the time but get nothing in return. Occasionally he'll say i look hot w/ his eyes but that doesn't really count. It should be spoken. Other guys I don't even know come up to me and tell me how good I look but not my own bf. He told me I was pretty when we first met, but that's it.

 

Opinions?

 

Men are weird.

Mz. Pixie Established Member

Mz. Pixie

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It's disrespectul- IMO.

 

If he's not giving you compliments or making you feel hot, you should dump him.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Originally posted by honeybunch2k5

Opinions?

It could be worse cause he could be checkin' out dudes... :laugh:

 

Men are weird.

so are women!

scarlyjones Established Member

scarlyjones

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Originally posted by alphamale

It could be worse cause he could be checkin' out dudes... :laugh:

 

 

so are women!

 

 

:lmao: :lmao:

crazy_grl Established Member

crazy_grl

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Short answer: Good men don't do this. Jerks and dogs do. Get rid of him.

 

I like to look at men, but I would never sit and drool over another man when my boyfriend was right there, especially not for an entire evening. It's completely disrepectful, inconsiderate, rude, and inappropriate. It's not harmless like he might say it is. If he'll disrepect you in that way, he'll probably disrepect you in other ways too. Find a guy who'll treat you with respect. Don't settle for this jerk.

tiki Established Member

tiki

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Totally disrespectful. Take a closer look, re-evaluate.

greenhorn Established Member

greenhorn

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It is indeed a difficult situation,

 

If a stunningly b'ful lady comes in with un-buttoned shirt and your bf would not have given a wink, you would be here posting that " help - my bf is showing gay tendencies" :p and if he sees again it is a problem.

 

It is involuntary, if some lady like this comes in guys do tend to take a look at her ( I mean if they are straight).

 

 

The second part is your bf not saying that you are hot- this needs further investigation and might be worthy of getting rid of him.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Originally posted by crazy_grl

Short answer: Good men don't do this. Jerks and dogs do. Get rid of him.

once again a totally female answer from CRAZY-GURL.

 

let me give you the correct response.....good men do it, fer shure, but they don't make it obvious. Jerks and dogs do it too but they do make it obvious.

 

All men look, trust me, it is just how they look. :)

Marshbear Established Member

Marshbear

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Guys are gonna look. Women want us to look. The thing is, he should have respected you enough and not OGLED and talked about her in your presence. He probably is so comfortable with you that he doesn't even think about it. You should remind him.

 

 

Peace...

crazy_grl Established Member

crazy_grl

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Originally posted by alphamale

once again a totally female answer from CRAZY-GURL.

 

let me give you the correct response.....good men do it, fer shure, but they don't make it obvious. Jerks and dogs do it too but they do make it obvious.

 

All men look, trust me, it is just how they look. :)

 

Yes, all guys look, but the person posting the question wasn't complaining that her guy just looked. He was staring with his jaw open and talking about the woman for practically the whole night. The question was: 'Why do guys ogle and drool over other women when they're out w/ their gf?' The answer is: Only jerks and dogs do that.

 

So, you're saying the exact same thing I said earlier: only jerks and dogs do what her bf did. Good guys don't. :)

Moose Established Member

Moose

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good men do it, fer shure, but they don't make it obvious.
Yup, you have to be tactfull. For instance, if a good lookin woman walks by and she's wearing revealing clothing, you just turn to your date, and whisper, "Do you see what that skank is wearing? OMG, she looks so trashy! Her jeans are cutting her in half"......really though, Mrs. Moose knows I check out other women, I know she checks out other men. Nothing wrong with it as long as it's not acted upon.
alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Originally posted by Moose

For instance, if a good lookin woman walks by and she's wearing revealing clothing, you just turn to your date, and whisper, "Do you see what that skank is wearing? OMG, she looks so trashy!

actually MOOSE...you just turn to your date and whisper "honey, u look sexy tonite" :) that way you're almost assured of getting some action when u get home

sarah12 Established Member

sarah12

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Originally posted by Moose

Yup, you have to be tactfull. For instance, if a good lookin woman walks by and she's wearing revealing clothing, you just turn to your date, and whisper, "Do you see what that skank is wearing? OMG, she looks so trashy! Her jeans are cutting her in half"......really though, Mrs. Moose knows I check out other women, I know she checks out other men. Nothing wrong with it as long as it's not acted upon.

 

Agreed. Actually I like checking out women with my guy friends or when I have a boyfriend. We rate them. It's fun.

crazy_grl Established Member

crazy_grl

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Originally posted by sarah12

Agreed. Actually I like checking out women with my guy friends or when I have a boyfriend. We rate them. It's fun.

 

As long as the gf is in on the joking and part of the fun and not being made to feel like dirt in the wake of another woman, it's all good.

 

I've done that with guy friends and even boyfriends before and it is fun. But for me, the bf's have to be willing to also rate the guys that go by in the process. ;) Most are game even if they let me handle the majority of the guy rating. :)

FolderWife Established Member

FolderWife

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He's just not that into you. He was into the hot chick in the resteraunt...but he's not into you.

 

It's normal to *sneak* a glance or two at a good looking woman...but not to sit and talk about her half the night with your girlfriend sitting right there. It's perfectly NORMAL if your girlfriend isn't there, but it's disrespectful if she is.

 

He's sending you a CLEAR message...he doesn't like you, he doesn't want you, and he doesn't give a craptoda about you.

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honeybunch2k5 Established Member

honeybunch2k5

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By the way, the woman wasn't particularly good looking. Just buxomy.

faux Established Member

faux

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Originally posted by honeybunch2k5

...It wouldn't bother me so much if he would take the time to tell me i'm hot. I tell him he's cute all the time but get nothing in return. Occasionally he'll say i look hot w/ his eyes but that doesn't really count. It should be spoken.

 

I compliment my girlfriend frequently, and I do so verbally. I still appreciate beauty when I see it, though, even if it happens to be in another woman.

 

Men are weird.

 

People are weird.

miss fortune Member

miss fortune

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Originally posted by Monday

He's just not that into you. He was into the hot chick in the resteraunt...but he's not into you.

 

It's normal to *sneak* a glance or two at a good looking woman...but not to sit and talk about her half the night with your girlfriend sitting right there. It's perfectly NORMAL if your girlfriend isn't there, but it's disrespectful if she is.

 

He's sending you a CLEAR message...he doesn't like you, he doesn't want you, and he doesn't give a craptoda about you.

 

I disagree. Men are visual creatures - they are hardwired to look at something pretty. It's just HOW they look that makes the situation. If he wasnt trying to be a total pig about it but he just looked, who cares? He looks when youre not around too, and at magazines & TV and wherever else theres hot chicks.

 

But to dump a guy for looking at a girl and to say hes not that in to you is WAY far off. That is not the definition of a guy not being in to you. Especially this one isolated situation.

FolderWife Established Member

FolderWife

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The problem was that he didn't just look. He STARED and talked about it half the night...and his girlfriend was RIGHT THERE!

 

That's like beating to a porno, when your wife is sitting on the couch beside you in a teddy! :mad:

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Originally posted by miss fortune

I disagree. Men are visual creatures - they are hardwired to look at something pretty.

women are also visual also MISS_FORTUNE. the thing is that when women are checking out other good looking guys they do it very discreetly and usually when they think no one else will catch them. when men look they ususally don't care if it is obvious or not.

 

it is the same with lying and deciet. women do it just as much as men but they are better at it so they get away with it more which in turn makes it LOOK as if men lie more when they really do not.

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honeybunch2k5 Established Member

honeybunch2k5

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What I've been trying to say is that he's my bf and all night he and his friend were cracking jokes about a buxom ( not even that pretty) lady. I even saw him take a good hard look at her butt. While I sat right next to him. That doesn't go down well especially when he seldom says I'm hot or pretty.

crazy_grl Established Member

crazy_grl

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Originally posted by honeybunch2k5

What I've been trying to say is that he's my bf and all night he and his friend were cracking jokes about a buxom ( not even that pretty) lady. I even saw him take a good hard look at her butt. While I sat right next to him. That doesn't go down well especially when he seldom says I'm hot or pretty.

 

And it shouldn't go down well. Would your guy think it's okay for you to ogle and drool over another man all night? I doubt it, so why should it be okay for him to do it?

 

If he had been considering your feelings at all, he would have at least made some attempt to reassure you. Almost every person on this thread thinks this guy was way out of line, and they've mentioned plenty of ways that he could have behaved that would not have left you feeling the way you did. He could have looked and kept his tongue in. He could have told you how nice you look, etc. He didn't do any of those.

 

There are a lot of guys who would have enough respect for you that they wouldn't even comment on that other woman no matter what she looked like or what she was wearing.

 

If you choose to stick with the pig instead of looking for a better man, you need to at least talk to him about this and ask him not to do it again. If you don't, it's not going to get any better. Don't do it confrontationally like forbidding him to look at other women though. Tell him how it made you feel and ask him to try not to do it anymore. If he cares, he won't do it again. If he does it again after that, he's not worth giving another chance.

scarlyjones Established Member

scarlyjones

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maybe your best bet is to not try and hang with him and his guy friends. Because I know for a fact,....thats what guys do when they are together. His behavior such as it was THAT night,...may have been exaggerated DUE to you being there. He may have been overdoing it subconsciously in front of his buddies to show hes not whipped or your not the "boss" of him or whatever.

superfabulous Member

superfabulous

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I would walk away and find one that made me feel sexy, special and as if i was the one and only- if he cant be really subtle and u think he's a jerk for it- then you should find someone who behaves the way you want them too without asking or arguing for their attention.....

mutton Member

mutton

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ditto. A man who never really compliments you most likely does not find you that attractive. You're totally capable of finding a guy who admires you for both your personality and your looks, especially since you say that other guys tend to approach you and tell you that you're pretty. Don't settle for an immature kid who can't keep his eyes and his thoughts to himself. It's true that most men and women do look, but some tend to have more control over themselves as to not "drool" over some women's/man's ass in front of their girlfriend/boyfriend. Both your boyfriend and his friend was being disrespectful and inconsiderate to your presence that day. You should tell your boyfriend how you feel about the situation (him not complimenting you/him gawking at other women). If he does not change or seem to care (or admits that he finds you attractive but has a problem complimenting you), then you should probably go get yourself a new boyfriend.

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