Ginger55 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 I'm 27 and I met a guy online. We talked a lot and immediately clicked (or so I thought) and I had this huge idealized image of him in my mind... until I met him IRL and discovered he has no respect for the people he dates OR for himself for that matter. He's just a sweet-talker who sleeps with whomever is available (he'd probably schack your deformed grandmother if it requires no effort) and generally doesn't fit my standards for a guy. Because of my mental image though, I was still interested and gave him a few chances to prove he's good enough at least for sex. Well... he failed hard. In the short span of time we hung out, he put other chicks before me just because they were "quicker". He didn't even have the balls to tell me the truth and made up the most laughable lies. Once he canceled our date because he arranged another one with a chick who would put out (then lied about it). At the end he tried to make me do something I didn't want to do and that's when I had enough of his BS. He's a loser and I should be able to move on pretty quickly. I know I don't want him - I want the image in my head and it's that image I'm finding it hard to move on from. I think about that imaginary person a lot and it's still tied to that loser, whom I see every day. So, the question is - how to move on from my own fantasies?
jen1447 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Just let them die a natural death. Without anything to sustain them, they probably will pretty quickly. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Continue dating him and letting him walk all over you and treat you like sh*t. I'm sure this image you have of him that is so intoxicating will tarnish and you'll see him for the scum that he is. Sorry if that's harsh but seriously? 2
xera Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Put yourself first, because you deserve better. I mean seriously, you even think of the consequences? You could get STDs or get pregnant from this guy! 1
Dylon Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 I can't imagine that. Usually, IRL outcome like that will kill your fantasy and it's done. A huge disappointment. Ginger, that person didn't exist so what's there to let go? Now, imagine the guy you want and live with that fantasy in your head. Isn't it better than associating with this guy. So you are in love with that ideal man. You haven't met him yet. I think you meant getting over the disappointment? Don't give this guy another thought. Sorry about this outcome. Don't give up home. Tread with more care in the future and lower your expectation and fantasy. 2
Author Ginger55 Posted November 11, 2015 Author Posted November 11, 2015 I can't imagine that. Usually, IRL outcome like that will kill your fantasy and it's done. A huge disappointment. Ginger, that person didn't exist so what's there to let go? Now, imagine the guy you want and live with that fantasy in your head. Isn't it better than associating with this guy. So you are in love with that ideal man. You haven't met him yet. I think you meant getting over the disappointment? Don't give this guy another thought. Sorry about this outcome. Don't give up home. Tread with more care in the future and lower your expectation and fantasy. I know, you're right. It's just that for some reason I get really attached to people I choose to talk to and then it's really hard to let go of the concept of them. I guess the dissapointment was too much and I'm in denial or something. I'm angry at him for not measuring up lol 1
Dylon Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Sure, it's understandable and you know it's not about this jerk which is what he turned out to be. You will find others. 1
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