thecrucible Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 Ha-ha. Yeah, this is how I handle flakes also. Well after I ignore them and they blow up my phone wondering why. Flake = someone who cancels last minute and doesn't reschedule immediately. I got no time for people like that. I also got no time for people who initiate dating then all of a sudden become " busy". Yeah I agree. You only have so much leisure time. Things should have momentum from the start. Afterwards, it's increasingly likely that you're flogging a dead horse. Can't believe I agreed with you as I'm sure I have been guilty of flaky behaviour in the past. This was because of being seriously busy and stressed, therefore unreliable with everyone including the guy. Or it was because I was on the fence about the guy so I wasn't going out of my way but would be happy and friendly talking to him from time to time.
Lansing Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 I'm thinking about just saying "How about this, you pick any evening next week, and I'll take you to [fancy restaurant] and then [art museum], it'll be fun!" DO NOT DO THIS! I hate using caps, but, I want to make sure you see this. Seriously, you are too invested in this girl. You made an effort, she wants you to chase her. DOn't give her the satisfaction because she will just play you. Don't spend money on a girl to get her attention. If she can't make time to have a coffee with you but then all of the sudden can make time for you when you put out a dinner on the table... what is that saying about her? That she is just waiting around for the best offer to come out. Seriously, move on. Meet 3 other girls and I am sure by then you won't think about this girl anymore.
Versacehottie Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 Ok OP you need to get a thicker skin for one. sorry. You are taking stuff too seriously and intensely. That is gonna f*ck up whatever game you have. Secondly, I'd say your general "instincts" when she started slowing down the texting (2 days to reply) were spot-on. Low interest. Who knows the reason. Don't assume it's you or your confidence gets wrecked, clearly. You are acting like she specifically baited and set out to trick youl Maybe you just weren't compelling enough for her. Maybe she is wishy-washy. Maybe she was still hung up on some other guy. Maybe you just boost her ego and that's why she's interested. Maybe she's just as immature and inexperienced with relationships and dating as you are but just in different ways. Here the thing guys who take a stance like you (or girls too): is that people are figuring it out as they go. She doesn't OWE you a 2nd date; things unfold if they are meant to and the feeling is there. Sometimes it doesn't happen it the exact timely way you think it will. Try to chill out and act like you've got a lot to offer and things will be fine either way and you will be a lot more attractive to whoever. Good luck
Ms. Faust Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 At this point I would just text a casual "hey, hope all is well, maybe we can get together when you are not so busy". Don't stress so much, you are over thinking things.
dumbass2 Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 I had a first date planned with a woman. She text and cancelled 3 hours before. No reason or ask to reschedule. I thought about just leaving it alone, but I text her back an hour later. "no worries, let me know if you want to try again sometime". She text me back later "Yes, we should try again, how about Friday, same place and time? There you go. You get cancelled on short notice with nothing else and aren't sure of the interest level, put it on them and don't ask them again, let them do it if they are interested. Don't plan on hearing from them again, but if you do, guess what? You KNOW that they are interested. You don't go getting all needy and desperate by continuously throwing out days and times and whatever works for them type stuff. You chill and see what happens. Be cool about and show some game. That is why they call it the "dating game". Come ready to play. 1
TheBathWater Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 I had a first date planned with a woman. She text and cancelled 3 hours before. No reason or ask to reschedule. I thought about just leaving it alone, but I text her back an hour later. "no worries, let me know if you want to try again sometime". She text me back later "Yes, we should try again, how about Friday, same place and time? There you go. You get cancelled on short notice with nothing else and aren't sure of the interest level, put it on them and don't ask them again, let them do it if they are interested. Don't plan on hearing from them again, but if you do, guess what? You KNOW that they are interested. You don't go getting all needy and desperate by continuously throwing out days and times and whatever works for them type stuff. You chill and see what happens. Be cool about and show some game. That is why they call it the "dating game". Come ready to play. I've had these same experiences and can confirm this is a good method. I've been surprised a few times using it.
dumbass2 Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 I've had these same experiences and can confirm this is a good method. I've been surprised a few times using it. You've really got nothing to lose if it is the first time it has happened with a person and you are interested. You just don't expect a reply and if you get it, great, you go from there and get things back on track. It happens again with the same person, you're done. That's not the kind of person I will be in any kind of relationship with. I love golf, so basically depending on what happens early on, I give someone a "mulligan", but do the same thing again and there are consequences/boundaries.
Siquijor Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 Could anyone explain why she would go from initiating contact for coffee to flaking? Like...what happened? Most likely she's either insecure and craves attention or she's doing this just for kicks. Whatever you do, don't get rejected a third time. Move on!
lino Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 You're the last resort for attention guy. I know, I've been there before several times. Ignore her unless you enjoy this sort of thing.
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