Triggs1234 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 So I posted about what had occurred between my Ex and I. She has moved to NYC and has moved on from our relationship. We were best friends for years prior to dating. She said she needed time alone and to work on herself as she started her new career. A month later, she had completely blocked me out of her life for a few weeks and had gave me no answer as to what really happened and why. She reached out recently to tell me she was sorry how she handled it and that she indeed was seeing someone. Little did I know until just a few moments ago, it is one of her previous ex boyfriends that she had cheated on me with. The same guy she said she wanted nothing to do with and she had made a huge mistake. Had also blocked and deleted him from FB, phone etc at that time. Not sure how to handle this situation. I now feel so fooled and manipulated. I feel angry that she has done this. I feel the entire relationship post that incident was a lie. I am really not sure what to think of this situation. I had finally received indication to move on forward and that things ended. But now hearing this, things have certainly changed for me. Any advice?
mightycpa Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 So I posted about what had occurred between my Ex and I. She has moved to NYC and has moved on from our relationship. We were best friends for years prior to dating. She said she needed time alone and to work on herself as she started her new career. A month later, she had completely blocked me out of her life for a few weeks and had gave me no answer as to what really happened and why. She reached out recently to tell me she was sorry how she handled it and that she indeed was seeing someone. Little did I know until just a few moments ago, it is one of her previous ex boyfriends that she had cheated on me with. The same guy she said she wanted nothing to do with and she had made a huge mistake. Had also blocked and deleted him from FB, phone etc at that time. Not sure how to handle this situation. I now feel so fooled and manipulated. I feel angry that she has done this. I feel the entire relationship post that incident was a lie. I am really not sure what to think of this situation. I had finally received indication to move on forward and that things ended. But now hearing this, things have certainly changed for me. Any advice?So you feel like your were fooled and manipulated into what? Keeping her company? At least she didn't swindle you for money. You hooked up with a girl who is essentially weak, and doesn't know what she wants, so she's bouncing around now. She may have lied, or she may not have, but it really doesn't matter. Just don't make the huge mistake of feeling so sorry for yourself that you can't trust anyone again. It's totally unfair to other people to project her faults onto them, and it is rooted in self-pity, not in reasonable fear. You need to come to grips with the fact that she was not being straight with you, and that's it. You got fooled? People get fooled all the time. Don't let that ruin your life, not even for one minute. There's really not all that much to think about. Given that, all you have to worry about is moving forward slowly but surely, and don't go back for any reason, and don't let her back in for any reason if she comes sniffing around. You don't need a girl like that, and you don't need friends like that either. Be done with this girl, and show her what it means to do you wrong.
Author Triggs1234 Posted November 11, 2015 Author Posted November 11, 2015 So you feel like your were fooled and manipulated into what? Keeping her company? At least she didn't swindle you for money. You hooked up with a girl who is essentially weak, and doesn't know what she wants, so she's bouncing around now. She may have lied, or she may not have, but it really doesn't matter. Just don't make the huge mistake of feeling so sorry for yourself that you can't trust anyone again. It's totally unfair to other people to project her faults onto them, and it is rooted in self-pity, not in reasonable fear. You need to come to grips with the fact that she was not being straight with you, and that's it. You got fooled? People get fooled all the time. Don't let that ruin your life, not even for one minute. There's really not all that much to think about. Given that, all you have to worry about is moving forward slowly but surely, and don't go back for any reason, and don't let her back in for any reason if she comes sniffing around. You don't need a girl like that, and you don't need friends like that either. Be done with this girl, and show her what it means to do you wrong. Thank you. Yeah I definitely have pushed forward with my life. I am only 23, have a lot going for me right now and just doing my best to keep busy. I certainly got fooled and that is never an easy thing to acknowledge. I tried so hard to ammend things and in the end I got absolutely screwed over. I agree that it is time for me to show her the things she has done wrong through silence and not accepting her if she were to come back. She gave me many excuses in the early stages of our break up. She was unhappy with herself, unsure of herself, needed time alone to work on herself etc. Also had told me she started to see a therapist because she was "damaged" from previous relationships. Not really sure what to think of her reasoning at first. But I do know she has turned out to be someone I did not really know. Live and learn
makemineamac Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Wow, so sorry that happened to you. It's totally unacceptable what she did to you, but just move on. You have much to look forward to in life, and far better this happened now than later. You'll be ok, take a bit of time to process this and move on. That line about when people show you who they are - believe them, certainly applies here. Best to you.
Author Triggs1234 Posted November 11, 2015 Author Posted November 11, 2015 Wow, so sorry that happened to you. It's totally unacceptable what she did to you, but just move on. You have much to look forward to in life, and far better this happened now than later. You'll be ok, take a bit of time to process this and move on. That line about when people show you who they are - believe them, certainly applies here. Best to you. Yeah, I am a very forgiving person and open to giving those a second chance. Unfortunately, got fooled big time on this one. Certainly did not see it coming. I guess it is a good thing that it happened now rather than later. Just goes to show you, that you may think you know someone, but in reality you never truly do. Rough reality.
Dylon Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 You weren't replaced. It's her lost. Best thing to do is ignore her and move forward with confidence that she's not the one..... obviously, right?
Author Triggs1234 Posted November 12, 2015 Author Posted November 12, 2015 You weren't replaced. It's her lost. Best thing to do is ignore her and move forward with confidence that she's not the one..... obviously, right? That is pretty much exactly what I have been doing. I will say from this experience I have gained some valuable lessons learned. I did over step her boundaries when she originally said she need space and time alone to work on herself. I do not believe regardless had I allowed her complete space it would have changed anything now knowing the truth, but definitely need to allow someone full space. Still tough everyday knowing that I love a girl that seems to have manipulated and fooled someone she called her " best friend" for two years +. 1
Chi townD Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 Dude, really?!?! She moved on to the ex boyfriend that she cheated on you with! Doesn't say a lot about her character. You didn't lose anything here. Time to heal and move on. There are plenty of girls out there that have morals and know how to be loyal to one guy, 2
Author Triggs1234 Posted November 12, 2015 Author Posted November 12, 2015 Dude, really?!?! She moved on to the ex boyfriend that she cheated on you with! Doesn't say a lot about her character. You didn't lose anything here. Time to heal and move on. There are plenty of girls out there that have morals and know how to be loyal to one guy, I genuinely think the girl has a lot of self issues. She is a beautiful girl, but was struggling with self pity etc. Following her telling me that she messed around behind my back, she stated she didn't think she was good enough, that I was the only good guy she has ever known and that she did not "deserve" me. Also said she needed to be alone while she figured herself out in a new place and a new job. Turns out that her being "alone" hasn't lasted very long. I found it all to be quite strange, because I knew her quite well for 2 + years, so I thought. I never try to put people down and tried to support her etc, but realizing now I made a massive mistake in doing such. Really cared and loved the girl a lot. Best connection with anyone I have ever met. Trying to take all the positives I can out of this situation.
Chi townD Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 The only group of people that say that a person doesn't deserve them are cheaters. Because they know they did you wrong and feel guilty about it.
lolablue17 Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 She cheated on you and continue lying after that. Yes, she has manipulated you all along. Yes, Your relationship with her was a lie. Now, tell me please, why would you want that kind of a person in your life?
Author Triggs1234 Posted November 12, 2015 Author Posted November 12, 2015 The only group of people that say that a person doesn't deserve them are cheaters. Because they know they did you wrong and feel guilty about it. For sure. She has decided to take the cowardly way out of things. I don't understand it. I do know it is very easy for her, clearly by her actions. Sad to think that she doesn't feel any guilt or care at all about someone who cared a lot about her and was there always for her during ****ty times even as a good friend.
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