GF has anxiety and issues with alcohol. Anyone else in the same boat?

[IM5150]

Anyone on here in a relationship where depression and anxiety exists in your significant other? I’ve been with my GF for 2 years now. She’s been struggling mostly with anxiety. She’s been on Zoloft since she was 16, she’s 34 now. She was recently prescribed Ativan a year ago and she feels it’s what messed her up more because her doctor put her on it for over a year (it’s supposed to be a short term drug).

 

About 9 months ago, out of nowhere she told me that she needed a break from the relationship. She went into a deep depression and would sleep as much as she could. I was everything for her. Her mom would tell me that I was the best thing to ever happen to her. I stuck with her through her roughest times, multiple ER visits for panic attacks.

 

We got back together after the 4 month break and everything seemed to be going well. We were back for another 5 months and just recently she told me she needed a little “time” again to “rest and stuff”.

 

I’m not sure what to do anymore. When she takes these rest periods, she can go days, weeks without talking or texting me. The most recent one was due to her baby daddy (she has 3 kids, didn’t marry the last guy but had a son with him) got I’m my face and threatened to kick my ass in front of her. I guess he’s still not over her even though I started seeing her 9 months after she left him. After that incident she became distant and needed some more “time”. She wants to get a restraining order so that he doesn’t do that again. She’s also a business owner so image that, single mother of 3, running her own business.

 

She also has a problem with alcohol. She will drink to get through the day at work. She gets anxiety when seeing clients and she feels like drinking takes the edge off but more often than not she’ll drink to much to the point where she’s passed out at work a few times.

 

Some may ask why I’m with this girl. Well, I really love her and when she’s been ok we’ve had great times together. I hope she pulls out of this latest episode but I feel really lonely and depressed waiting around for her to contact me. I want to talk to her about this recent episode but since she’s battling anxiety it’s hard to find the “right” time to talk to her because I don’t want to make it worse.

 

Anyone else going through something similar? Do they just want to take “breaks”? Is it too much pressure even though I’m there for her and helping her through her struggles?

[schiller]

Some may ask why I’m with this girl.

 

Yeah, I was thinking she's got a lot of baggage, and not too many redeeming qualities.

 

Well, I really love her

 

That's obvious but love isn't enough.

 

and when she’s been ok we’ve had great times together.

 

Go fall in love and gave great times with a woman who doesn't have 3 kids and a crazy ex with anger issues, who is not an alcoholic with poorly or untreated mental health issues who doesn't keep breaking up with you when the mood strikes her.

Edited November 11, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
fixed quote formatting ~6

[mightycpa]

Go fall in love and gave great times with a woman who doesn't have 3 kids and a crazy ex with anger issues, who is not an alcoholic with poorly or untreated mental health issues who doesn't keep breaking up with you when the mood strikes her.

Boom, boom, boom, boom and boom. He's totally right. You deserve better. Let somebody else deal with those problems.

[Poppyolive]

Sounds like she has a,whirlwind of problems. She may feel suffocated by them, drinking isn't the answer. This is too much for you to handle. She needs help. Help that you can't give, unfortunately. You need to pull back and take care of yourself.

 

Tell me about all the positives in your relationship?

Do you think you maybe co dependant?

[mystikmind2005]

Be prepared that she is banging other guys during these breaks.

 

It is a very, very common circumstance for women with these type of emotional issues because they do not respect themselves or think themselves deserving of real love, and the momentary gratification of cheating sex is extremely addictive.... just like the temporary high you get from drugs.

[IM5150]

I came from a toxic relationship and when I met this girl she was the sweetest thing ever and I trusted her 100%. She never broke trust with me. We just get along so well and we understand eachother. I met her family and became close to her mom and kids. They are like family to me now. We are both introverts and just like hanging with eachother.

 

I do feel that I have co-dependancy issues. I seem to put m life on hold sometimes to help her out.

 

Sounds like she has a,whirlwind of problems. She may feel suffocated by them, drinking isn't the answer. This is too much for you to handle. She needs help. Help that you can't give, unfortunately. You need to pull back and take care of yourself.

 

Tell me about all the positives in your relationship?

Do you think you maybe co dependant?

[IM5150]

LOL. She's not banging anybody. She lives with her mom, has 3 kids, a busy business owner, no time to bang. Plus, she's very introvert, does not like being in public places. It's only been 2 weeks since we started the break. Her mom tells me that she's been sleeping alot when not at work or with the kids. She's not the type to go out and mess around. Iv'e trusted her 100% as she's never broke that trust.

 

Be prepared that she is banging other guys during these breaks.

 

It is a very, very common circumstance for women with these type of emotional issues because they do not respect themselves or think themselves deserving of real love, and the momentary gratification of cheating sex is extremely addictive.... just like the temporary high you get from drugs.

[mystikmind2005]

LOL. She's not banging anybody. She lives with her mom, has 3 kids, a busy business owner, no time to bang. Plus, she's very introvert, does not like being in public places. It's only been 2 weeks since we started the break. Her mom tells me that she's been sleeping alot when not at work or with the kids. She's not the type to go out and mess around. Iv'e trusted her 100% as she's never broke that trust.

 

That's good! I guess it is better to be surprised by cheating than to live in fear of cheating. Fear doesn't benefit anything rite or wrong.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I came from a toxic relationship and when I met this girl she was the sweetest thing ever and I trusted her 100%. She never broke trust with me. We just get along so well and we understand eachother. I met her family and became close to her mom and kids. They are like family to me now. We are both introverts and just like hanging with eachother.

 

I do feel that I have co-dependancy issues. I seem to put m life on hold sometimes to help her out.

 

I think this is very telling.

 

You BOTH have issues to work through that aren't helping your relationship or your individual situations. This is a recipe for disaster and inevitable heartbreak.

 

As much as I may empathize with you and your love for her, she has some HUGE obstacles to overcome and it's NOT YOUR JOB to fix them. Even if it was, you CAN'T. She has to want it and work for it herself. And that takes a lot of time, hard work and sacrifice on her part.

 

We all want to believe that our love for another person will be enough to heal them, to put back all the broken pieces and perhaps sometimes that may appear to work for the short term but trust me when I tell you that long term, it NEVER, EVER, EVER works out that way. There is rarely a happily ever after in these types of situations until each of you become more proactive about your own well being.

 

Give her the space she's seeking, OP.