Jadey Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Hey. Im just crurious if you guys think that things may change atall. At the moment i have to see my ex BF every school day, and we hang out with the same friends. Hes very confusing at the moment, giving me mixed signals all the time. And looking pretty sad. Eventho he apparently has a new GF now. I leave school in less then 3 weeks, after my exams. And will not have to see him except for my brothers memoral in June. Except from that im planning on doing NC, or very little contact. And i was just thinking he hasn really had the chance to miss me properly cos im kinda there alot. I think he takes me for granted atm. So what are the possibilities that when i stop contacting him (i still text him alot now) he will realise that i really am gone and miss me? Because he hasnt had a chance to has he? I know that hes probably thinking i will stay in contact with him when i leave and keep on texting him and everything. They say you dont know what youve got till its gone. Do you think that NC will make him miss me maybe and realise? And do you think that NC IS the way to go after i leave school? If not then what should i do when ill never see him again after June?
outdated Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Jadey, don't contact him. No texts, nothing. If he wants to come back, he will when it's time.
scarlyjones Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 you sound like you WANT him to miss you? Is this some kind of game you're playing?
Author Jadey Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 Er of corse i want him to miss me...I want him
scarlyjones Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Jeeeeeeeeeez.............this is sooooo a game your running. WHy do people DO this???? Just TELL him then!!!!!!!! You want him to "get" that you want him by you "ACTING' like you dont want him......hmmmm....why would he not understand that I wonder. sheesh..........
Author Jadey Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 WTF? You dont even know my situation! Weirdo..
Author Jadey Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 Haha no i didnt.. You dont actually know what happend between us or anything Hes the one thats a mind ****, not me..
ConfusedInOC Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones Jeeeeeeeeeez.............this is sooooo a game your running. WHy do people DO this???? Just TELL him then!!!!!!!! You want him to "get" that you want him by you "ACTING' like you dont want him......hmmmm....why would he not understand that I wonder. sheesh.......... What's in the water in Detroit? Love is game. Once you figure it out, then you'll understand what she is trying to do. But she needs to maintain her composure and strength by not pressing him. She needs to give him space to miss him. He may NEVER miss her again but at some point, he'll think about her. Read "Love Must Be Tough" and you'll see the better explaination of "creating space to create freedom and the sense of what might be lost forever..." It doesn't mean NEVER talking to them. It means never begging or pleading or trying to hang on. Release the door to their cage by letting them go. When people realize they CAN walk away, sometimes they decide they don't want to.
RecordProducer Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones WHy do people DO this???? Just TELL him then!!!!!!!! You want him to "get" that you want him by you "ACTING' like you dont want him......hmmmm....why would he not understand that I wonder. You'll stop wondering when you grow up and start living in the adults' world! In any case, Jadey, it works temporarily and only in small doses while people are still in mutual love as in not stay clingy, but make him miss you for a few hours and wonder where you are. When things break, it's hard to fix them. Don't ignore your ex rudely, just avoid his company in order to avoid the pain. Nobody knows if things can change for no reason, but it's not very likely given that he has a new GF and seems that he left you, and not you him. If it was your fault, you might want to talk to him about it.
Author Jadey Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 It wasnt my fault! I can assure you that! Why would it be my fault?? I was brilliant to him Love is game. Once you figure it out, then you'll understand what she is trying to do. Exactly. Love is a game. And what im trying to say is i reckon when i leave school if i leave it a while before i bother to text him, if i do, i reckon he will wonder what the hells up since i text him alot. And i see him nearly everyday (not out of choice) so how can he miss me and really reaslise that im gone. Right now he has me pretty much wrapped arounf his little finger. Maybe going the other way will make him miss me or whatever is what im saying. HE play games too. People like games sadly. Im not going to be cruel to him, just not so THERE in his face. Which i wouldnt be if we werent in the same school, and maybe then id have him now anyway. I cant describe it but CIOC knows what im on about Lol noone can say im being nasty not atall, ive been TOO nice and thats the problem here.
scarlyjones Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Yeah,...........ok..........I need to grow up........................"recordproducer"
Author Jadey Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 Im not saying you need to grow up...But you havent realised yet that love is pretty much a game? Some things you havta do for yourself and the one you love, and they may hurt. But they also may bring you together..
scarlyjones Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 YEEEEeeEEEeeEeeEEEEEeEeeeeEEEEEeeEeEeEeEEEEEeeEEEeeEeeesssssssssSSSsSsS,.....I have. Im just saying ..................Why do we do it????????????? I wish we could JUST say whats on our minds without all these sly little tactics.
Author Jadey Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 Cos saying whats on our mind doesnt always work. Were all very complicated, weird, human beings and most people like games, esp males This isnt even a game anyway..I dunno what youd cal it .. But its not mind games or anything. Its giving him space, leting him find himself, and if he finds me at the end of it then BRILLIANT, but if not ill move on eventually. But hes not going to find himselve, miss me, what he had, if im always there! Or texting him or calling him, or just simply being too available. The wonders of love eh!
Author Jadey Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 Anymore advice?? I really feel like texting him but i know i shouldnt.. I wont see him for 11 days Thats gonna be weird..Then when i go back its only for like 2 weeks at the most. Argh..
ConfusedInOC Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 You posted this: Originally posted by scarlyjones Yeah,...........ok..........I need to grow up........................"recordproducer" Then you posted this: Originally posted by scarlyjones YEEEEeeEEEeeEeeEEEEEeEeeeeEEEEEeeEeEeEeEEEEEeeEEEeeEeeesssssssssSSSsSsS,.....I have. Originally posted by scarlyjones Im just saying ..................Why do we do it????????????? I wish we could JUST say whats on our minds without all these sly little tactics. Read "Love Must Be Tough" - By Dr. James Dobson. Focus only on one of the last chapters in the book entitled "For Singles and Dating" where he clearly points out why it's called the "dating game." We can't say what's on our mind and not play tricks because it's human nature to do these things. You always want what you can not have and never appreciate what is so easy to get. People are always subconsciously testing you in two ways: 1) "How much do you love me?" 2) "How free am I to leave it I want to?" He explains this concept in laymen's terms so that anyone can understand it. I just gave you the Reader's Digest version.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by Jadey Anymore advice?? I really feel like texting him but i know i shouldnt.. I wont see him for 11 days Thats gonna be weird..Then when i go back its only for like 2 weeks at the most. Argh.. When you feel like texting him or calling him, do what I do: CALL YOUR FRIENDS!! That's worked very well for me. Every time I feel the need to call her, I call a friend. It anything, I've gotten back in touch with many people I have lost contact with, even if my phone bill has gone up
Author Jadey Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 Cheers Wow that book sounds REALLY good. Im gonna try and get that, i think me and my mum would like that. Itd become my bible You always want what you can not have and never appreciate what is so easy to get. See this is the thing i struggle with, i always thought this was so. I guess it really is true.. But how can you be something they want but not to easy to have
ConfusedInOC Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by Jadey Cheers Wow that book sounds REALLY good. Im gonna try and get that, i think me and my mum would like that. Itd become my bible The Holy Bible should be your Bible Dr. Dobson is a Christian man and he makes many references to God and what the Bible says about relationships. If you are not a Christian it might turn you off but understand that principals work regardless of your religion. See this is the thing i struggle with, i always thought this was so. I guess it really is true.. It is. Believe me it is. But how can you be something they want but not to easy to have Read the book
Author Jadey Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 Isnt there anyway you can read it online? lol
ConfusedInOC Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by Jadey Isnt there anyway you can read it online? lol It's like $11.00 from the biggest online book store (which is named after a river in South America - I have to say that since we're not allowed to post links here) Order the book, read it and you'll understand why it's a game
Lonestar Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Just walk away and stop contacting him, stop hanging on. If you don't have children together than there's no need to keep in contact after a breakup. He's gone, and he has a new girlfriend. Forget about trying to make him miss you and move on with your life. Go date someone else. There... that will piss him off if he still cares about you. Might even make him want you back.
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