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would you feel like you are wasting your time?


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Posted

I met this guy 3 years ago. Weeks after we met he started a 5 year surgical residency in michigan and I started a 3 year medical program in philly.

He has been not only physically absent but also emotionally. It has been a tough 3 years, and several times Ive tried to cut ties with him and date more available men. He refuses to let me go, continues to call/text & because he seemed so good a part of me has a hard time letting him go & think that the friction between us because of the distance and his demanding 90 hour week work schedule and things may get better after.

Im torn, I get little from him, he says he is broke as residents aren’t paid much to even fly me out to see him. Now I have a job and have flown to see him 3 times. He does want me to spend time with him &his mom on my birthday& has offered to take us both on vacation. So i see glimpses of hope but they are rare.

He is hardly available for phonecalls &takes forever to respond to texts. He will video chat me nightly, but the conversation is limited he usually studies. When things happen in my life, i can't look to him for emotional support &when i complain he gets mad &reminds me that he is going through a rough time in life.

He continues to say that he wants me to move in with him &marry me

I am 28 &feel time slipping.He still has a solid 3 years of training left.

Its very hard to even decide if he is worth it as i haven’t gotten a chance to properly date him.

Do i let him go or take the chance and move closer to him?

Posted

Long distance relationships are fantasy. Find someone near you to bave a real relationship with. Cut all ties. Block him if he refuses to comply with your wishes.

Posted
Long distance relationships are fantasy. Find someone near you to bave a real relationship with. Cut all ties. Block him if he refuses to comply with your wishes.

 

Not worth it. I even tried dating someone an hour away on a dating website and you have to keep consistent contact, otherwise it isn't working.

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Posted

I think you need to take the best decision for your career. If it's hard to keep in contact, it seems like the relationship is dying a slow death anyway. I've been in a long-distance relationship and couldn't do it unless there has been discussion and an agreed point between us when the relationship will stop being long-distance and it will get back to normal, and that the long-distance part is temporary. It's not something I could handle for a long time. I did it once and the relationship just didn't develop and we didn't bond very well because there were always gaps due to distance.

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