Kevin_D Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 And to be honest, every day is still a struggle. I think my biggest problem is that still can't understand why it happened. I've realised that there were a few red flags, but we had so much fun and she wanted to be with me all the time. At times, I thought she was too clingy. Somehow she managed to replace me. After 7 years, she jumped straight into a new one. And she's probably still together with my replacement. Most people here will say that she most likely checked out of the relationship well before that and yada yada, but still, it just seems so strange how she could introduce a new guy to her family just a few weeks after leaving me without feeling guilt. It wouldn't be able to look my parents in the eyes if I had done something like that to someone who they had known for 7 years... But enough of that! It's time for the good news. I've met a new girl (a REAL girl, unlike my BPD rebound). She's bright, sexy and responsible. We're having tons of fun together and have some common interests. I also found a great job which I really like, so my days are quite busy right now. Since I'm doing better, I figured it would be a good idea to get over to LS and write an update. Here are some of the things that have helped me: - Accept that she was unique, that she isn't coming back and that she cannot be replaced. A strange advice indeed, but it has given me peace in my mind. I look at her like deceased relative. She affected me in so many ways and those memories will always have a special place in my heart. The best parts of her are inside me. - Focus on the things that the ex was lacking. Again, it might sound stupid, but I never liked my ex' ass, so whenever I get dark thoughts, I think about my new girlfriends ass. - Being appreciated at the office really helps. It gives me a sense of meaning and has boosted my confidence. - Working out helps, like everyone keeps pointing out. - And finally, NC is crucial. Last, but not least, I would like to share a couple stories about my friends: Friend #1 dated a girl for 5 years. Then she dumped him and adapted a party lifestyle, began hanging out with celebrities, bragged about her clothes and purses and so one. He pleaded and begged for 1.5 years, before he went NC. Now, 5 years after the brekaup, (3.5 years since they stopped talking), she contacted him. She kept calling him even though he didn't answer. She did everything to get another chance. They've been back together for 4 months now, but they seem really happy. GIGS, or whatever you want to call it, actually happens. Friend #2 was recently dumped by his GF of one year. He ignored the NC contact advice and kept responding to breadcrumbs. Well, for some reason she informed him that she has slept with 4 different guys since the breakup - three of them penetrated her anus. Remember, while NC sometimes may make your ex miss you, more importantly it protects you from this kind of BS. 2
CT98 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Friend #2 was recently dumped by his GF of one year. He ignored the NC contact advice and kept responding to breadcrumbs. Well, for some reason she informed him that she has slept with 4 different guys since the breakup - three of them penetrated her anus. Remember, while NC sometimes may make your ex miss you, more importantly it protects you from this kind of BS. This made me laugh
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