Women: How would you feel in this situation

[Friendly3000guy]

For women: Let's say you are either dating a guy and this is one of the early dates, or you are conversing with a new guy you just met from online, or some other scenario of basically just getting to know a new guy.

 

 

You are getting to know his likes and dislikes. One of his dislikes is blue jeans, he despises the way they look, on anyone, not just women. He likes other colors of jeans, just not blue. He has NOT made any request that you refrain from wearing them, it simply comes out that he does not like them. Do you take this into consideration when dressing for your dates, or do you wear them any and all times when you would anyway? Or, do you go out of your way to wear them for a while for the purpose of "testing" him?

 

 

Curious as to what women would typically do in that situation.

[StBreton]

I'd put my sexy on and wear a skirt on the dates. I don't like drama and believe in individuality ... but if a guy likes to see me in something other than jeans ... I'd oblige. Now if the guy is controlling on lots of things...geez who has time for that kind of attitude?

[GemmaUK]

I would wear them when I would usually wear them.

 

I'm not testing.

 

 

I am just being me and expressing my own opinion just the same as he is.

[Empyrea]

Hmm. I'm guessing the blue jeans is a metaphor for something else?

 

In any case, I guess if it was early in the game, but I was super into the guy, then I would take note of that and maybe wear blue jeans less often? If I wore them anyway, then I wouldn't stop entirely, but yeah, maybe a I'd refrain from wearing them when with him I guess. If I don't particularly fancy him, then I wouldn't change anything. I normally take note of these kinds of things anyway for successful seduction purposes (like if he mentions in some scenario that he likes I dunno black lingerie or red nailpolish or something). But it would have to be a small thing like something I do sometimes anyway or that's not too big of an inconvenience you know. I would not change anything major. Like if he said he liked redheads and I were a blonde, or that he liked tattoos, then I would definitely NOT dye my hair for him. Or get tattooeed. In that case it might even be a statement kind of thing, like I WAS actually considering dying my hair red, but now I won't, because you have to like me the way I am.

[RecentChange]

I wouldn't modify what I usually wear to appease his slightly odd fashion preference.

 

If its something I would normally wear jeans to - I am gonna wear jeans.

 

And it's not testing, its being myself, and not changing that to cater to someone I have just met.

[Ruby Slippers]

I would find it a bit strange. Of all the things to oppose in life, blue jeans seems like a kind of silly one. I would probably tell him that I wear blue jeans sometimes, and ask if it would turn him off. It's basically a strange quirk he has. I'm willing to accommodate quirks to an extent, as long as he's not so quirky as to be a controlling or too strange to relate to.

[Buddhist]

I probably would just stop seeing him to be honest. I mean why is his pedantry even being explained to me? I'd be more concerned about why he thinks I should care than his actual dislike.

[Myragal]

I'd put my sexy on and wear a skirt on the dates. I don't like drama and believe in individuality ... but if a guy likes to see me in something other than jeans ... I'd oblige. Now if the guy is controlling on lots of things...geez who has time for that kind of attitude?

 

Yes, the same.

 

Heaven forbid, I like to please a man. Look sexy for him. If he like me to wear my hair down, I most likely will. If he comments that he likes a particular perfume that I have out on, I will use it again.

 

As St Breton states...this is not controlling but his preference. I will also cook him a dinner Friday evening of something he likes rather than what I might normally have on Friday. Perhaps he hates broccoli.

 

If he started to dictate my wardrobe, books, TV shows, etc. Then a red light warning sign. However, I would appreciate it and ask him to wear a button down shirt and shoes to go dancing rather than a t shirt and sneakers.

[Mystique01]

I think my first response would be to playfully ask him "why not?"

 

I don't think I would allow a guy's preference for clothing to dictate my dressing habits, unless it was something that brought TOO much attention or something.... But I would just wear what I wanted to wear. #shrug

 

I would always switch it up though. I like to switch things up anyway, so I probably wouldn't always be wearing blue jeans during dates anyway. I just like to switch things up sometimes. I like wearing black jeans at times, dresses, skirts, slacks, dress pants, etc. I don't have to ALWAYS wear blue jeans in other words.

 

Unless he had an allergic reaction to blue jeans, I don't think I would allow his preference for other colored jeans to dictate what I wore around him.

 

That sounds kind of like a silly thing to dislike, so my first question would be why he hates them so much lol.

[Gaeta]

I would not wear jeans when we go out on dates. If we're home launching around then I'd wear what I want.

[craw]

I wouldn't modify what I usually wear to appease his slightly odd fashion preference.

 

If its something I would normally wear jeans to - I am gonna wear jeans.

 

And it's not testing, its being myself, and not changing that to cater to someone I have just met.

Agree, I mean you've JUST met him.

[d0nnivain]

I rarely wear jeans on early dates to begin with. Know he didn't like them unless we were going somewhere like on a hayride, I'd probably refrain from wearing them to accommodate him.

[Gaeta]

That sounds kind of like a silly thing to dislike, so my first question would be why he hates them so much lol.

 

People don't like things for what they represent to them.

 

I don't like black jeans. To me they're tacky and a major fashion faux pas. It may seem silly to you but it's a turn off to me.

[RecentChange]

I will say, I think I would take it differently if he said I really like "_____" especially if he made the comment about me...

 

I really like it when you wear your hair down, or you look great in those pants.... I would probably wear my hair down again, or dress to enhance the assets he complimented....

 

But an odd, irrational "I don't like jeans that are blue" I would find a bit off putting.

[kismetkismet]

I think i would find that very strange without any explanation. I wouldn't adjust what I normally wear, but I don't actually wear blue jeans all that often anyway. If it was something that i DID wear all the time i would probably find it a bit offensive/off putting.

[todreaminblue]

if i knew a guy didnt like jeans i wouldnt wear them....because what he likes is important and giving up jeans isnt a biggie.i would want the guy to feel attracted to me not distracted because i am wearing blue denim........but if it was he didnt like women who write poetry or do art or women reading or loving nature walks....those are major ...and they arent going anywhere for me they are part of who i am....but he would be going somewhere....just not with me.....deb

[thecrucible]

See I'm just really stubborn and if I want to wear blue jeans, I will wear blue jeans whatever the guys says! I'm that stubborn that if I did change what I wore, I wouldn't ever want him to think I was doing it because he mentioned it.

 

If we're going on a date and I want to up the romance, I will of course where something more sexy that we both like.

[Mystique01]

People don't like things for what they represent to them.

 

I don't like black jeans. To me they're tacky and a major fashion faux pas. It may seem silly to you but it's a turn off to me.

 

Hmmm....That's interesting......

 

Then again, I find that what people /society thinks is "in fashion" tends to change with the wind anyway. Which is why I usually don't listen to fashion advice to begin with. I take it with a huge grain of salt, because what was passé yesterday will be "in" tomorrow, and what was "hot" today will be old news the next day lol.

 

I just wear what looks good on me and fits my body type. #shrug. I know which colors, styles, outfits look decent on me and give me loads of compliments. And even if nobody else likes it, as long as I like it, I'll wear it. I've never been a slave to fashion.

 

I agree with the other poster who said that of the guy didn't really have a real reason why he hated blue jeans, his remark would be off -putting on a date. That's like me just randomly saying that I hate when guys wear boots.

Edited November 11, 2015 by Mystique01

[Myragal]

I like it when a man expresses himself. His likes, dislikes. Fetishes. Moods. Expectations.

 

There are a thousand articles about men not communicating... not saying what they are thinking.

 

Then when a man expresses himself we often jump on him. I have been guilty of this in the past and would think that most women have.

 

Guys are very physical in attraction. Almost Pavlovian. I'd rather he tell me something about an article of clothing, what I feed him, music I play, etc. than to have him nod and silently grumble inside.

 

'Is something bothering you?'...him...'No'. I really like a my guy to feel free to say 'yes' and tell me what it is even if it's something stupid.

[FeelingFireworks]

This is both an important and unimportant question.

 

Unimportant because blue jeans are really quite trivial in the grand scheme of things. Important in terms of the message it gives out to how easily you'll bend over backwards to please someone.

 

 

IF I LOVE MY JEANS

A) If you hate jeans but you see they make me happy when I wear them, I'd prefer you think 'I hate jeans, but they're just jeans. Besides she wears other things to please me or we can always buy clothes I like together. It's nothing really.'

B) If I love my jeans but ditch them coz u voice a dislike, im inclined to think neither of us would really like that....Ill not be wearing what I like, and you'll prob see me as a people-pleaser which is unattractive. Or you might feel great cos you feel you control me which is not healthy IMHO.

 

IF I COULDNT CARE LESS ABOUT JEANS

C) If I wear them, maybe just by chance or I'm probably trying to rub you up the wrong way/test you. If the latter, You'd prob be able to sense that and quite rightly take issue with my behaviour.

D) If I choose not to wear them, it may be with you in mind but I'm also not going against my likes - a true win-win.

 

So I really think it boils down to the feeling behind the action.

[PrettyEmily77]

I would probs think it a little odd coming up in the early 'getting to know' phase. Looking back, I don't remember one instance of a guy telling me what he doesn't like in terms of clothes (plenty about what they like, though ... ).

 

Wouldn't it put you in the mindset of 'ok, I'll stop wearing blue jeans if it's that important to you but what are you going to do in return'?

 

I'd feel really uneasy complying about anything too early on because I'm not naturally too eager to please anyway but if I made the effort, I'd either want it acknowledged or returned in some way. It would also mean I really like the guy. Seems trivial but more often than not a sign of sthg else, IME.

Edited November 11, 2015 by PrettyEmily77

[Myragal]

I would probs think it a little odd coming up in the early 'getting to know' phase. Looking back, I don't remember one instance of a guy telling me what he doesn't like in terms of clothes (plenty about what they like, though ... ).

 

Wouldn't it put you in the mindset of 'ok, I'll stop wearing blue jeans if it's that important to you but what are you going to do in return'?

 

I'd feel really uneasy complying about anything too early on because I'm not naturally too eager to please anyway but if I made the effort, I'd either want it acknowledged or returned in some way. It would also mean I really like the guy. Seems trivial but more often than not a sign of sthg else, IME.

 

I don't need anything 'in return' for doing something for a man (or other person). Healthy relationships are not a set of accounting books with credits and debits.

 

I like to make my guy happy. I try to be in tune with his needs. This is not a 'weakness' or some indication of being a pushover.

[jen1447]

For women: Let's say you are either dating a guy and this is one of the early dates, or you are conversing with a new guy you just met from online, or some other scenario of basically just getting to know a new guy.

 

 

You are getting to know his likes and dislikes. One of his dislikes is blue jeans, he despises the way they look, on anyone, not just women. He likes other colors of jeans, just not blue. He has NOT made any request that you refrain from wearing them, it simply comes out that he does not like them. Do you take this into consideration when dressing for your dates, or do you wear them any and all times when you would anyway? Or, do you go out of your way to wear them for a while for the purpose of "testing" him?

 

 

Curious as to what women would typically do in that situation.

 

I'd wear whatever I feel like wearing regardless. If I'm a blue jeans person, I won't stop being one for anyone's subjective opinions (I control my personal style decisions), and it might ultimately serve as a good compatibility test if he can't handle that.

[RoseVille]

I wear jeans, so I'd be wearing them anyway, not any more or less often. They're my style, and if he doesn't like my style, then he doesn't like me. So... No big loss for me.

[Lostweekend]

I would wear what I like to wear! If I´m dating someone and they don´t approve of the way I dress, then that´s too bad. We obviously have different tastes and preferences so perhaps it´s time to move on!