LivingDeadGrl Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 It's been a while since I posted but wanted to ask something as I feel i've been out of the dating loop for so long and i'm tired of over-thinking! My friend set me up with her room mate about 3-4 weeks ago, we hit it off right away and have been seeing each other a lot. He is super nice and funny. He doesn't text a lot, which is a bit weird for me. Typically I am used to talking to the guy I'm seeing throughout the day but it's not like that with him. If we text it's to make plans and then we see each other. We talk a lot in person. If he's working I don't typically hear from him at all until he's on his way home, in which he will tell me he's done work and usually just calls me. My issue and question is, I will send him a text usually once during the day, and he always responds when he's done work. I just don't know if I should keep doing this, or not say anything at all until he messages/calls me after work? He is working somewhere right now that has no service, so he doesn't get the text until he leaves the job site. He will reply shortly but He then has to drop his crew off, and after that I hear from him. He usually calls. He works long hours so sometimes this isn't until 9-10pm. I don't mind sending the text everyday, I just don't want to come off as clingy/annoying/repetitive/boring. I don't send the same things everyday, sometimes its a meme, other times its something about my day, I try to keep it light and funny. We aren't serious enough yet that I feel I should have the "talk" with him. But he has slept over multiple times and we do have sex. He has met some of my friends and I have met some of his. His cousin and I also met and are planning to do yoga together. I am sure he is interested in me/likes me/wants to be with me. I just want to know if I should keep up with the texting during the day even though he doesn't get them until later, or can't respond? I send 1 usually, that's it. Also note that when he isn't working, I never get a good morning or anything. Since we've spent a little more time together I sometimes get a good night. I will talk to him a couple times maybe during the day and very short (in text). He is definitely not a big texter, and definitely not a sweet talker or romantic type lol... I think this puts me off. Not used to this kind of guy. See. Over thinking. Help
Mystique01 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I think you're overthinking just a bit... Honestly, I don't really see the problem. It seems like he likes you, he just has crappy service at work. And honestly, I rather like to talk to people over the phone when I'm OFF work myself. Especially if it's private/personal. If you feel funny about texting him while at work, maybe be a little more sporadic with your text messages. Meaning, maybe instead of texting him EVERY day while he's at work, maybe text him in the morning before work, or after work. Switch it up a little. Maybe even one day don't text at all! Just switch it up some and maybe it won't seem boring or monotonous. Are you two "official" or in an established relationship yet? The only thing I was thinking was that if you two aren't in an established relationship yet I don't know if I personally would feel comfortable sleeping with guy if I don't know where I stand with him, but that's just me. Otherwise, if this situation is working for you, then by all means continue on! I honestly think you're overthinking things just a tad too much. He seems into you. He may not be glued to his phone or be a texting fanatic like so many other people in the world these days. 2
Gaeta Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Is this the same guy you posted about in August who was interested in a FWB?
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted November 10, 2015 Author Posted November 10, 2015 I am definitely over thinking! I think you're right about being more sporadic. I'll try that. We are only seeing each other, not anyone else. I don't think we are "official" as we haven't really talked about that but it seems to be going that way. Gaeta - No, not the same guy. I stayed single for a while, this guy is the first I've dated for real since my break up in July.
ravfour4 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I was in a similar situation last week, except im the guy and was you in this same situation. Her and I get along great in person, but sometimes she'll go all day without texting me when I'm used to talkin throughout the day. I'll often send a good morning and she'll respond a few hours later, sometimes she'll send a good night. We said we were exclusive a few weeks ago so I takes with her about it last weekend and it's just a difference in preference, she admitted to being a crappy texter and that her whole fam would agree with me. I told her she didn't need to change for me and I could just be more secure knowing its her being her or her forgetting and not me when she doesn't text me for a while. I've been more confident about us since. In regards to your guy, he may look forward to the after work text everyday so I wouldn't just stop, it may make it look like you've lost interest. I'd just ask him about it in a joking manner to see how he reacts or don't text him one day and see what he does 1
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted November 10, 2015 Author Posted November 10, 2015 I was in a similar situation last week, except im the guy and was you in this same situation. Her and I get along great in person, but sometimes she'll go all day without texting me when I'm used to talkin throughout the day. I'll often send a good morning and she'll respond a few hours later, sometimes she'll send a good night. We said we were exclusive a few weeks ago so I takes with her about it last weekend and it's just a difference in preference, she admitted to being a crappy texter and that her whole fam would agree with me. I told her she didn't need to change for me and I could just be more secure knowing its her being her or her forgetting and not me when she doesn't text me for a while. I've been more confident about us since. In regards to your guy, he may look forward to the after work text everyday so I wouldn't just stop, it may make it look like you've lost interest. I'd just ask him about it in a joking manner to see how he reacts or don't text him one day and see what he does I was thinking that also, that I don't want him to think I'm losing interest if I don't text. He probably does look forward to it. He has already kind of mentioned he isn't a big texter, which is fine just not something I am used to
GemmaUK Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Text some days and not others, play with it, it's flirting and is fun! I have said this time and again but: I WOULD LOVE TO MEET A MAN WO DID NOT NEED ME ON CALL VIA TEXT 24/7. It would make my interest increase and lessen the hassle of the whole explaining what you are doing every 15 minutes!! Like, cooking, being at the shop, cleaning your bathroom, cutting your toenails (OK - that last one was a bad thing I know - it caused a massive argument! I hadn't told him 'in advance' that that was what I was doing - he then text me throughout my at home pedicure that I was doing myself, alone and so I was 2 minutes late for Skype - I did tell him I would be a minute or two late - he demanded to know why - not good enough a reason - that was just one occasion he told me I was cheating.) Men my age seem to need constant communication though so I am doomed! Lol! Next man I date..I am gonna grow reaaaaaaaaaaaaally long toenails...hehe! 1
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted November 10, 2015 Author Posted November 10, 2015 Text some days and not others, play with it, it's flirting and is fun! I have said this time and again but: I WOULD LOVE TO MEET A MAN WO DID NOT NEED ME ON CALL VIA TEXT 24/7. It would make my interest increase and lessen the hassle of the whole explaining what you are doing every 15 minutes!! Like, cooking, being at the shop, cleaning your bathroom, cutting your toenails (OK - that last one was a bad thing I know - it caused a massive argument! I hadn't told him 'in advance' that that was what I was doing - he then text me throughout my at home pedicure that I was doing myself, alone and so I was 2 minutes late for Skype - I did tell him I would be a minute or two late - he demanded to know why - not good enough a reason - that was just one occasion he told me I was cheating.) Men my age seem to need constant communication though so I am doomed! Lol! Next man I date..I am gonna grow reaaaaaaaaaaaaally long toenails...hehe! I always told myself I want a guy who isn't a texting and Facebook junkie. Well I found one and it's hard getting used to. He does use facebook and show me stuff on it, we tag each other sometimes in things but he's not on it all the time. It's refreshing but also weird. Whoever you were dating at that time sounds very clingy and insecure by the way.
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