Winesar21 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 It been 4 weeks since the breakup and there are still some areas im hurting in. We dated for two years. We had been rocky since June of this year. Deep down I don't think I had been happy for awhile as certain needs of mine weren't being met after telling him time and time again. I told him that expressing things through words is important to me and he said he shows love by actions. I had threatened and offered to break up with him numerous time right before the breakup but he said we would work on things. He said he felt bad for constantly blowing up at me about little things and he couldn't hurt me anymore and I didn't seem like I was happ either. When we dated before he became angry because of me he was the sweetest, most generous man I have ever met. He has done so much for me. I have gone on a few dates and I'm comparing everyone to him. I'm not sure if I miss the idea of him more than him. A few weeks before we broke up I pointed out a parking spot. He told me t wasn't a parking spot. When we got out I pointed at the sign and it was. He became so angry that he got in his car and drove off. I stood outside in the rain. When he came back a few minutes later I said sorry I didn't want to get my hair wet and that the other space was closer. His response was who cares you barely ever straighten your hair for me anymore. I'm sad I don't have someone to go on unlimited outings with anymore. We did more things than most couples do. I'm saddened that he never understood where I was coming from on certain issues. I haven't heard from him since the email. I find this to be so pathetic and I guess that's what hurts me the most when talking about breaking up before we had said we would always be friends no matter what. He always talked about how either guys were douche bags and weren't gentleman. I guess I had the biggest one. It sucks not knowing if I really knew this person.
dumbass2 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I know it was said that you would remain friends, but that can never happen right after a romantic relationship. To many raw emotions and feelings still involved. You are no longer in a relationship with him. Give yourself at least 30 days of strict NC and see where you are and what you're thinking then. Now allow yourself to just grieve and go through this and let things out. Not at him, just to us here on the forum or to friends and family. I wouldn't worry about dating right now as you will just feel worse off. Try to do other things to get your mind off it as much as possible. Again, try 30 days of absolute NC, no looking at photos or him on social media or texting or calling or replying if he sends something. You just need some time away from it to think things throw and try to see things a little more clearly. You can't do that so soon after.
Mortana Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Moving in us always hard and for you it's only been 4 weeks so maybe give yourself time to properly grieve the loss before you jump into dating again - especially if you compare everyone to him... It's been 4 months since my breakup and it takes a while to really get over things and be ready to move on. I've been invited to countless dates but turned them down and actually enjoyed focusing ob myself instead of someone else, maybe try that for some time? It helped me tons with my grieving process... Just today I realized that while I still care for him and miss what we had together, I'm now ready to move on with my life and meet someone new when I feel like dating again. Only time can give you that though, time and working on yourself.
Author Winesar21 Posted November 11, 2015 Author Posted November 11, 2015 Thank you guys for the support! I have sent him emails with no response. I just don't get what I did to deserve this treatment. I probably shouldn't be out dating right now. I constantly colors things to him. I probably always will. He has done so many nice things for me it's hard to imagine someone caring so much about me again.
louxor Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Thank you guys for the support! I have sent him emails with no response. I just don't get what I did to deserve this treatment. I probably shouldn't be out dating right now. I constantly colors things to him. I probably always will. He has done so many nice things for me it's hard to imagine someone caring so much about me again. Trying to not compare new people to the ex is always difficult and if you believe it is getting in the way, then holding back on dating for now is probably a good idea like you mentioned. One thing to keep in mind when you do find yourself comparing someone else to him again - You were with your ex for 2 years so obviously he is going to look better in comparison to someone you have only met once or twice. You have experienced much, much more with your ex than this new person, so naturally the new person will look bad in comparison. You just have to do your best to give the new people a chance and understand that even if they were a perfect person, they will not live up to your ex at the beginning, you need to give it time.
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