Back with Ex- She's sent nudes to some guys in work and her college course

[Sleepflower]

Obviously she was single and entitled to do whatever she wanted.

 

Now we're back together and I found this out inadvertently- feel awkward as hell at the thoughts of going on nights out with her and her classmates/colleagues or even collecting her from college or work.

 

Any advice please?

 

Thanks

[PegNosePete]

Dump her.

 

Whether she was "entitled" or not, who cares? That is a totally low class thing to do. Do you really want to be with "that girl"?

 

If you're just in it for casual fun then carry on, but she is clearly NOT relationship material.

[dumbass2]

She is an attention whore. She's sending them to guys she is not even in a relationship with. She is probably very insecure and has low self esteem if she felt she had to do that. I would probably dump her to the street because I too would feel very awkward around her now with her friends. Who knows who's seen her and you don't know if those guys sent her nude photos to anyone else. I'm pretty sure they have shared them. They will probably end up somewhere on the internet. Is that the girl you want? One that shows off her body that easily?

 

As the other poster mentioned, if you have zero feelings and no interest in a romantic relationship, then date her casually if you want and have fun, but other than that, steer clear from this one.

[Samhain]

Dump her.

 

Whether she was "entitled" or not, who cares? That is a totally low class thing to do. Do you really want to be with "that girl"?

 

If you're just in it for casual fun then carry on, but she is clearly NOT relationship material.

 

I'm not sure you can label somebody as being "not relationship material" based on something they did when they were not in a relationship.

[Wewon]

Is she usually an impulsive person? Does she normally not think things through?

 

I just wouldn't want to spend all my time dealing when decisions that she made, whether sending nudes or anything else.

[loversquarrel]

I'm not sure you can label somebody as being "not relationship material" based on something they did when they were not in a relationship.

 

Maybe not, but there are definitely classier women out there than her.

[Shock148]

Hell no. I can't be with someone like that. First of all, any woman who sends nudes to different guys that she is not even in a relationship with is not attractive whatsoever. Second of all, of course you feel awkward when you pick her up or hang out with her friends/coworkers because they all know what she looks like naked and most likely still have the pictures somewhere. Lastly, I doubt she just sent them pictures and thats it. Most likely she had sex with most of them as well. Why would any female send a nude picture to a guy and not want to have sex with him?

 

I would dump her because you can do better. That is just too much for me personally to handle and from this thread, I believe it is too much for you too....and for good reason.

[mightycpa]

Obviously she was single and entitled to do whatever she wanted.

 

Now we're back together and I found this out inadvertently- feel awkward as hell at the thoughts of going on nights out with her and her classmates/colleagues or even collecting her from college or work.

 

Any advice please?

 

Thanks

Downgrade her from "relationship" to easy lay.

[jorgepy]

Honestly man, everyone f'***s up once in a while. These days who hasnt sent a nude pic to someone else. You just had the bad luck that she sent it to someone you know and the azzhole distributed it among others. If she is into you and it was something she did in the past get over it, she loves you and thats all that matters

[mightycpa]

Honestly man, everyone f'***s up once in a while. These days who hasnt sent a nude pic to someone else. You just had the bad luck that she sent it to someone you know and the azzhole distributed it among others. If she is into you and it was something she did in the past get over it, she loves you and thats all that matters

Or, you could choose to have some standards and raise the bar a little bit. You can't be too choosy in matters of the heart.

[Sleepflower]

Just should add we were together for 3 years, I walked out on her, there was no cheating involved, we had a six month separation with no contact.

 

She's not the easy or cheating type and she had a bit of a meltdown in those 6 months so this is out of character

 

We both agreed to keep what went on when we were apart in the 6 months but curiosity got the better of me whereas she's fine not knowing who I was with or if I sent anyone any pics ( I did on both counts)

[mightycpa]

We both agreed to keep what went on when we were apart in the 6 months

I think that's actually a bad idea, unless you know she's not going to be a keeper in the long run. But if you're looking for a life sentence with this one, openness, honesty and acceptance is what it's all about, good, bad or indifferent. You'll want to know what you're signing up for, in great detail. Don't let some redacted version of the truth influence your decision about something so important as your future.

[dreamingoftigers]

Just should add we were together for 3 years, I walked out on her, there was no cheating involved, we had a six month separation with no contact.

 

She's not the easy or cheating type and she had a bit of a meltdown in those 6 months so this is out of character

 

We both agreed to keep what went on when we were apart in the 6 months but curiosity got the better of me whereas she's fine not knowing who I was with or if I sent anyone any pics ( I did on both counts)

 

So you sent pics and "Dated" etc. too?

 

Separated for six months.

Yeah. There are older dudes that don't get that sending off nudes / sexting is pretty much an intro for younger people these days.

 

I'm 33, I wouldn't do it and don't suggest others do, but there are lots of nude pics floating around out there. They came from somewhere.

 

In the 80s it was Polaroids. I bet in 80 BC it was cave drawings. There's always something.

[SoThatHappened]

Big red flags.

 

Run for your life.

 

Thank me later.

 

Wishing I was witty enough to come up with a haiku poem, but you shouldn't need one.

 

This won't stop tomorrow. She's young (at the very least) and may have other issues. Just save yourself the heartache.

 

I see red flags and run. I've had a good teacher the past couple years: my ex.

[PegNosePete]

I'm not sure you can label somebody as being "not relationship material" based on something they did when they were not in a relationship.

Of course you can. That's like saying you can't judge a potential new employee based on his behaviour when he is out of work. If he robs banks while unemployed then you're probably not going to employ him in your accounts department, are you?

 

Similarly, I would not want to be in a relationship with a woman who sends out nude pics to all and sundry, whether she is in a relationship or not.

[opalant]

You say you've dated and sent pictures to other girls while you were apart for 6 months, so why is it okay for you to do that but not okay for her to do that?

[Sleepflower]

You say you've dated and sent pictures to other girls while you were apart for 6 months, so why is it okay for you to do that but not okay for her to do that?

 

I'm not saying its ok.

 

But these girls weren't in my class in college or work with them and I'm unlikely to ever ever see them again, and neither is my girlfriend, whereas there will be occasions where ill have to be out with her and the classmates/colleagues

 

Thats all. I'm not trying to be hypocritical, Im aware she was single as was I

[opalant]

I personally accept people's pasts for what they are and if I can't cope with it leave. You should do the same if it bothers you a lot, speak to her about it first but if you can't let it go break up with her, this is the kind of thing that will probably be brought up when you argue if you don't deal with the issue properly.

[sandylee1]

There are a lot of harsh people in this thread.

 

Although racy pics are not my style, you both did the same thing and it would be highly hypocritical to judge her for this , based on your own actions.

 

I would suggest you avoid those people. Meet her in the car park and be on your way. The college course won't last forever.

[Sleepflower]

There are a lot of harsh people in this thread.

 

Although racy pics are not my style, you both did the same thing and it would be highly hypocritical to judge her for this , based on your own actions.

 

I would suggest you avoid those people. Meet her in the car park and be on your way. The college course won't last forever.

 

Thats the attitude I think Im gonna adopt

 

We have our 2nd session of relationship therapy later so we'll bring it up then

[veggirl]

My god how old are you two???? Apart from 6 mos and you've both sent nudes to random people. WTF? I feel old...I was w/ my bf for over a year before he got nudes haha. Considering you did it too you need to let it go. You're both pretty attention-whorey obviously, so what's the problem? How is sending them to random people you barely know better than someone you actually do know and possibly trust? Your ego is your problem.