nobodie Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 (edited) I met him at a chatroom about 10 years back , we dated for about 4/5 times and i stopped contacting him, he did not try to reach out to me too. We just ceased contact and moved on for reasons unknown. Now, 10 years on, i thought about him suddenly and found myself to be missing him quite badly. What was strange was it dawned upon me that i have romantic feelings for him after so many years.. it just happened one fine evening when his name just crossed my mind and i did some search to know his current status. Over the last 10 years, i have dated a few guys but never once did i think about him or try to reconnect with him.i didnt even have any fleeting thoughts about him until now..I managed to locate him in that exact chatroom and re introduced myself again (he didnt really remember me well but after a few cues, he recalled me.) My intention was just to reach out to an old friend after such a long time and to keep it amicable and decent. After identifying me, he immediately asked if we could catch up over lunch on the very same day. I was taken aback by his spontaneity and told him probably not today. He asked for my mobile no and i gave it to him. I asked him twice how has he been and whether hes married ,but he declined to share it with me in the chatroom but simply said that its best to meet up and we have lots of catch up to do. I wouldnt mind meeting but probably after we have texted more and reacquainted ourselves again. I dont even have a recent picture of him, his current marital status, job, place of residence etc. If he happens to be married , i wouldnt want to run the risk of meeting him.too soon.. Since i left him my hp no, i did not hear from him again. I did not request for his hp no though. What could be on his mind now?why did he request to meet me on the very day for lunch? He is now inactive in the chatroom after i left him my hp no. Hes not even an ex or an old flame but i find myself to be craving for him suddenly. I regret letting him.go then but he did not pursue me either too..it was almost like a fling without the sex but our dates were mainly decent Edited November 10, 2015 by nobodie
PegNosePete Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I asked him twice how has he been and whether hes married ,but he declined to share it with me You have to wonder why he would not share that info. I can't think of any good reasons. Since i left him my hp no, i did not hear from him again This answers all of your other questions - the relevant ones anyway. He is not interested. If he were then he would've used your number. Alternatively his wife caught him out, and made him delete your number and stop using the chat room.
Zippy2000 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 This is important to other readers on LS that if you leave on "good terms". It means no bad fall out and some people do come back. I dont know a lot about you but this happened to me a few years back when I ran out of dates and people I liked. My mind wandered back into the past to see who was still eligible to me. Its normal and nothing wrong with it. Our minds like to revisit the past. Good or bad experiences. In this case you might have good memories of him. Its a bit if nostalagia you could say. tread carefully how he wasnt able to confirm his status. He may have something to hide. Ten years is a long tme for someone to re-appear.
Author nobodie Posted November 10, 2015 Author Posted November 10, 2015 (edited) yes..i asked if he is married..but he just didnt reply me and urged for a meeting. if he is indeed married, i dont think i wish to liaise with him any further. i dont believe in catching up with an "old flame" for rekindling the friendship only but if he is indeed married, why is he so keen to see me so soon? he refused to answer any of my questions, including general one like "how is his job etc", just simply asked to see me. he did not exchange any pleasantries to me like "how am i? " i dont even have a recent picture of him..i wondered how he look like now...i doubt he can recognise me if we meet. we have set up a meeting...and his marital status remain a secret why didnt he wish to tell me about his marital status? is that so difficult? should i go and see him? Edited November 10, 2015 by nobodie
PegNosePete Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 why didnt he wish to tell me about his marital status? is that so difficult? should i go and see him? How can we possibly know the answer to this?? We are not him! But as I said above, I can't think of any good reasons. The only reasons I can think of is that he doesn't want you to know he has a wife. And the reason for wanting to meet up is presumably to have some "fun". No I would not see or communicate with him further. Your gut should be telling you that his behaviour is very strange, and that is not a good thing. Move on.
Zippy2000 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 (edited) but if he is indeed married, why is he so keen to see me so soon? he refused to answer any of my questions, including general one like "how is his job etc", just simply asked to see me. he did not exchange any pleasantries to me like "how am i? " i dont even have a recent picture of him..i wondered how he look like now...i doubt he can recognise me if we meet. we have set up a meeting...and his marital status remain a secret why didnt he wish to tell me about his marital status? is that so difficult? should i go and see him? He is probably only free that day and probably a sociable person. Stop reading into all this!! Im a sociable person and if I had a day free I d utilise it for a cacth up. Be prepared for how he looks. I had lost contact with a colleague of mine at work. He actually left and came back after 11 years and by then he had gone grey and had a beer belly. lol Why not tell about his marital status? Well, none of your business since you left 10 years ago without contact. For all he knows. you could be a "catfish" on behalf of his wife or in some countries they would call that a "honey trap". If you dont want to waste time. Tell him your real motives and take it from there. For your information: People change a lot in 10 years. I really liked a girl 6 years ago and she would NOT give me a chance of a second date. Fast forward 6 years later and she had 3 failed relationships. I stayed single that time. She got back in touch with me and asked me out. I really liked her back then 6 years ago but I then back to present day I just saw her just as a friend. I lost all my feelings towards her. People change over time. Id ask you to be prepared for a let down. Something at the back of your mind brought him back into the present but remember. You left him behind for a reason 10 years ago. Edited November 10, 2015 by Zippy2000
Toodaloo Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Perhaps he just would rather talk face to face. Your not going to know until you go and you always have the option to get up and leave if you want to. You got on well with the guy go out and see him with no expectations.
Author nobodie Posted November 10, 2015 Author Posted November 10, 2015 i just texted him and he didnt reply....... and if hes sincere about catching up..why did he suggest meeting him near his workplace? i dont want him to take me for a booty call..
katiegrl Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 (edited) i just texted him and he didnt reply....... and if hes sincere about catching up..why did he suggest meeting him near his workplace? i dont want him to take me for a booty call.. Okay, this is getting weird, you're beginning to sound a bit obsessed. Sweetie, let it go, he's not interested. He was probably flattered after hearing from you, hence why he suggested getting together. But let's face facts here. Since that initial convo after ten years, wherein he admitted he did not even remember you (ouch) ...he has now disappeared and ignoring you. Who cares what's going on with him ....my guess though is he IS married, probably has kids, is in the chat room as a diversion ...was flattered when he heard from you, but has since come to his senses and doesn't want to go there.... Let it go...... this is YOUR fantasy, not his. And yes it IS a fantasy, nothing about this is real whatsoever, it's all stuff that is going on in your own head, not his. You may wish to explore within yourself why you seem to have become so attached to a fantasy. Harsh truth .....I am sorry. hugs Edited November 10, 2015 by katiegrl
Author nobodie Posted November 11, 2015 Author Posted November 11, 2015 Ok will not contact him anymore
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