kevin smithy Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I think you should ask him. If you see a future with him he probably sees the same with you and wouldnt have a problem helping you out. also you'll know more about him as what kind of person he is. you say he has. he should have no problem helping you out, your close, your good friends and your dating. i believe you should give it a go. 1
Gaeta Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I would clean houses before I ask money to a man I dated 3 months. Actually it's something you should look up. It pays well and it's clear in your pocket. I put myself through Uni by cleaning houses. 1
Author Fashhy Posted November 10, 2015 Author Posted November 10, 2015 I would clean houses before I ask money to a man I dated 3 months. Actually it's something you should look up. It pays well and it's clear in your pocket. I put myself through Uni by cleaning houses. Thanx for the idea and good for you!
StBreton Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I would clean houses before I ask money to a man I dated 3 months. Actually it's something you should look up. It pays well and it's clear in your pocket. I put myself through Uni by cleaning houses. Me too! My own business. That was in the 80s ... Good $$ 1
kevin smithy Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Everyones giving you advice and you should do what you need to do. no one knows your financial situation really. do whats best for you and your child .. hope all works well. stay good 1
BLND Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 (edited) Everyones giving you advice and you should do what you need to do. no one knows your financial situation really. do whats best for you and your child .. hope all works well. stay good ExActly Edited November 10, 2015 by BLND Add
BLND Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and are with this man for the right reasons. I am sure he will suggest helping you out if you talk about how stressed you are with bills... What s the point of him having all this money if he can't help out the person he's dating. 1
seekingpeaceinlove Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 My bf of 4 years (ex now) offered to clear my credit card debt completely. It would have made my financial situation a whole lot better. He also makes a boatload of $$$. He offered several times and I flat out refused. Friends say I should have taken the offer but I just never felt comfortable with the idea. I would have accepted financial help from him if my situation were dire. Life or death maybe. Anything else...you can figure it out. It's your decision...but I couldn't do it. 1
BLND Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 My bf of 4 years (ex now) offered to clear my credit card debt completely. It would have made my financial situation a whole lot better. He also makes a boatload of $$$. He offered several times and I flat out refused. Friends say I should have taken the offer but I just never felt comfortable with the idea. I would have accepted financial help from him if my situation were dire. Life or death maybe. Anything else...you can figure it out. It's your decision...but I couldn't do it. I definitely would not ask someone to pay off my debts for me either The situation She is in is not debts so it's kinda different.
Gaeta Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I don't believe in credit cards and I d definitely would not ask someone to pay off my debts for me. The situation I am in is not debts so it's kinda different. You don't believe in credit cards so it's ok for others to pay for you? What's the difference between using a credit card and borrowing money? It's both a loan. The difference is the credit cards are helping yourself on your own. The other one is to lean on someone else to fix your problem. If you can refund a loan from someone then you can refund your own credit card when money comes in. 2
BLND Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 You don't believe in credit cards so it's ok for others to pay for you? What's the difference between using a credit card and borrowing money? It's both a loan. The difference is the credit cards are helping yourself on your own. The other one is to lean on someone else to fix your problem. If you can refund a loan from someone then you can refund your own credit card when money comes in. Credit cards are a whole other thing. You buy things you can't afford constantly. Personally, I wouldn't ask for a loan either. But her guy seems to be the type to help out not as a loan. I know lots of people who are well off and don't give out loans but rather help others without expecting anything back. @fashhy I am sure your guy is the latter. He will have no problem helping you out. And be happy about it.
Wewon Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 What's your profession? You haven't been dating that long and simply asking him for financial help can be awkward and unfair to put him on the spot. How would you react if he says 'no'? Are you essentially asking him to strain the relationship if he doesn't want to do it? Maybe you should offer to do some kind of professional work for him so that he can pay you and get something out of it. 1
Eighty_nine Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 1. No one can forbid anything, unless you were a slave in a third world country. Are you unaware of the dynamic of controlling and abusive relationships? Sure they can. this is tough. What people replying in this thread are forgetting is that money means a lot more to people who don't have it. If this is a really wealthy guy, it's likely he won't mind at all. But it does change th relationship dynamic. If it was casual fun that you didn't see going anywhere, I'd say go for it & ask. My worries are about whether it'll negatively impact your relationship in an irreversible way. He may worry that's the only reason you're seeing him,etc. However to ask him for referrals for jobs open within his companies is a totally reasonable thing to do. 2
Author Fashhy Posted November 10, 2015 Author Posted November 10, 2015 Are you unaware of the dynamic of controlling and abusive relationships? Sure they can. this is tough. What people replying in this thread are forgetting is that money means a lot more to people who don't have it. If this is a really wealthy guy, it's likely he won't mind at all. But it does change th relationship dynamic. If it was casual fun that you didn't see going anywhere, I'd say go for it & ask. My worries are about whether it'll negatively impact your relationship in an irreversible way. He may worry that's the only reason you're seeing him,etc. However to ask him for referrals for jobs open within his companies is a totally reasonable thing to do. He knows I am not with him for money. I didn't know he had much when we started dating. He just happened to be a very successful business man. I don't need to date someone for their money solely. Never did never will. My ex was with me partly for my money. He couldn't wait to get his hands on it.
Httm Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Are you unaware of the dynamic of controlling and abusive relationships? Sure they can. this is tough. What people replying in this thread are forgetting is that money means a lot more to people who don't have it. If this is a really wealthy guy, it's likely he won't mind at all. But it does change th relationship dynamic. If it was casual fun that you didn't see going anywhere, I'd say go for it & ask. My worries are about whether it'll negatively impact your relationship in an irreversible way. He may worry that's the only reason you're seeing him,etc. However to ask him for referrals for jobs open within his companies is a totally reasonable thing to do. If you can divorce, then you could divorce.
StBreton Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 He knows I am not with him for money. I didn't know he had much when we started dating. He just happened to be a very successful business man. I don't need to date someone for their money solely. Never did never will. My ex was with me partly for my money. He couldn't wait to get his hands on it. Seriously?! Fashhy you need a big ol break girl! Sounds like your bf is a winner and glad you're with a real man this time. Hope it works out. I'm sure he'd like to help you get back on your feet. B 2
BLND Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 (edited) Are you unaware of the dynamic of controlling and abusive relationships? Sure they can. this is tough. What people replying in this thread are forgetting is that money means a lot more to people who don't have it. If this is a really wealthy guy, it's likely he won't mind at all. But it does change th relationship dynamic. If it was casual fun that you didn't see going anywhere, I'd say go for it & ask. My worries are about whether it'll negatively impact your relationship in an irreversible way. He may worry that's the only reason you're seeing him,etc. However to ask him for referrals for jobs open within his companies is a totally reasonable thing to do. People seem unaware of how abusive relationships work. Edited November 10, 2015 by BLND 1
Redhead14 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 First time posting here. Please be nice. I have been dating this guys exclusively for nearly 3 months. We met at my work in June and he pursued me really hard before I accepted a date with him. We get along super well, he's a mature man in his early 40's, has a kid who lives solely with him. I met his child. I see a future with him. I am a single mom as well, and right now have no financial resources as I lost my job not long ago. I am struggling tremendously, financially. I don't have money to pay my bills. I can't seem to be able to find a job for some odd reason even if I have a lot of experience. My divorce cost me a lot financially, and I don't get alimony. Now this man I am dating is extremely well off financially. He has multiple companies, owns a huge huge house( no mortgage to pay) can pretty much afford anything he wants. Our dates consist of going to the chicest restaurants in the city. And although I am in deep S*** financially, you could never tell looking at me. I present my self very well. My question is, should I ask him for help. And how? I mentioned that I m looking for a job and it s stressing me out. But that was the length of it. I don't feel comfortable doing it, as I never borrowed money from nobody and don't even owe money through credit cards. Thank you for your answers. It would be completely inappropriate. 3
Gaeta Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Wealthy people don't like to be approached for money. Yes they like to help but they want it to come from them. I know, I am not wealthy but I have wealthy people in my surrounding.
Gaeta Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 How did you find out he has no mortgage on his house? It's the big secret question on here tonight.
StBreton Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 It's the big secret question on here tonight. Come on Flashhy ... Give up the goods on how you got this info:) Are you really a CIA operative?
gaius Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Wouldn't be surprised if sonething like that came up in the normal course of conversation. Don't ask, just be very honest about what's going on with you and if he offers then he offers, if he doesn't oh well. By now he should have a good idea if he loves you and wants to take it that level or not.
xcupid Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 If you value the relationship you have with this man then I'd suggest you not accept money from him. It could change the "dynamic" of the relationship and not necessarily for the better. A good suggestion in this thread about a job - cleaning. Worst case, social assistance if it's available to you. Your approach with your resumes is sound. Good luck and I hope you find work soon. 2
phineas Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I'm really confused by all this. My wife has no job because she doesn't want to work and is taking me to court for child support when I have them the majority of the time. You actually have your child living with you. Why doesn't you ex at least pay child support? 1
Blade96 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I don't have much dating experience but I do have a really good sense of what is right or wrong. It's been only 3 months. don't ask this guy for money 3 months in, really. IT would make you look like the internet scammers, some sort of gold digger, something. This is something you do much much later. (and even then some people are hesitant to give money even to friends) 3
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