Phoe Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I have never been cold approached by a stranger in public. Never. Anytime I've been pursued it is by someone I'm already acquainted with. It likely also depends on where you live. I imagine there are places where it's more common. But all in all I don't think it's the preferred method for most people.
KatZee Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I'm never approached in public. Ever. I really wish guys did this more like they used to because online dating is NOT for me. Did it for years and it's just flakes and phonies and people acting like I'm a disposable "thing" not a human being. Most people I know are married or in long term relationships. The girl friends I have who are single, we go out, and no one talks to us. I'm starting to think I'm just a lost cause. 1
Mystique01 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I really dislike online dating. It's the easiest way to get dates I think but having all these options kind of makes the dating process less meaningful and special, in my experience. You go on a nice date with someone and you have a great time and you get home, get online and it just feels bad seeing the person you just went a date on looking at other prospects. Which is precisely why I hate online dating.....
Shanex Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I could be cheeky and tell the women here to stop rejecting guys approaching you in public so we wouldnt be discouraged if you dislike OLD so much. Im going to be wiser and assume many guys approaching you are mostly rude aholes to begin with and you are tired of that. I can understand that.
TheBathWater Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I really dislike online dating. It's the easiest way to get dates I think but having all these options kind of makes the dating process less meaningful and special, in my experience. You go on a nice date with someone and you have a great time and you get home, get online and it just feels bad seeing the person you just went a date on looking at other prospects. I agree. The people OLD benefits the most are those who are CEOs and employees of the online dating world and are making bank off of changing the social dynamics of love. Give people options, take away their fear of rejection, and make it 'fun' with lots of questions/swipe activities, and there you go. Suddenly, cold approaches, risk/rejection, are no longer a thing.
frus69 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I hate OLD..and this post makes me even sadder-guys don't approach us anymore.nahhhhhwwww.... I have been cold approached twice in my life I think. They straight up asked for my number. Damn I miss those days.
Woggle Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 If more women want men to approach them they should make their voices heard so they can drown out the ones who treat any man who speaks to them as a predator. Let men out here know that women want guys to talk to them. 1
Erik30 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I never do cold approaches, pretty much because of reasons already mentioned here. I don't want the girl to think of me as "the creepy guy who's bothering her" while she's just trying to do some shopping. I also can't tell if a girl who I don't know is interested. So it would be really awkward if I'm trying to talk to her, and all she wants is to get the hell away from me. That's kind off my fear, and what prevents me from approaching girls in public My shyness probably plays a part as well. 1
ASG Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I am approached somewhat regularly. Recent one that can recall were a guy approaching me at the bus stop at 4am (no I won't tell you where I live), a guy approaching me as I got out of the tibe station (not sure what in my demeanor said I would be open to it as I don't even take my eyes off the floor) and a guy at a bar (he was slightly more successful, as I was a bit more open to it, but ultimately didn't pursue it). I'm not a big fan of the cold approach. I'm usually not interested. Particularly not randomly on the street...
Wewon Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 If more women want men to approach them they should make their voices heard so they can drown out the ones who treat any man who speaks to them as a predator. Let men out here know that women want guys to talk to them. Agree. Women are basically getting the reality that they're arguing in favor of (or quietly complicit to).
SwordofFlame Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 There's nothing stopping women from striking up a conversation with a man. You don't have to ask the guy out. I highly doubt they would run into the same potential negative results that men do when they approach and get labeled creepers. 3
MrDuck Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I really like talking to strangers, I think it can be pretty interesting. So yeah I've cold approached, and sometimes successfully, but never like "hey I think your [insert generic compliment], here's my number" I'm a guy and I think that's kinda sleezy. I've struck up conversations with girls that have caught my eye and based on that I've progressed things accordingly. I was looking for a girl to be just as friendly and interested other wise I wouldn't of pursued. Equally (im in a relationship now but if I was single) having a son now and looking for something more serious I think id be less likely to cold approach and go out with the girl. Might just be me but its more something I did when I was looking for fun, not that something more serious couldn't of grown from that, but it wasn't what I was looking for. 2. Guys approach based on looks. It's a simple fact. Why else would they approach? They have nothing else to go on. BUT - he shouldn't just be saying "can i have your number?" immediately. I've approached a lot of women and not asked for their number. Why? Because either I find out they are with someone, or I am not that interested in them after talking to them. The ones I ask for their number are the ones I find I have something in common with and gel to some degree. x2! 1
oberkeat Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 (edited) I've been single for two years now and the only dates I've been on have all been guys I have met on online dating sites like Tinder and Match. In two years I have never gone on a date with a guy i met out in public. Do guys still approach girls that way? Prior to being single for two years I was in a four year relationship with someone I met through mutual friends. Now it seems so hard to meet someone. I was at this music festival last weekend. Tons of attractive guys there, but I wasn't approached by any. I see cute guys at the grocery store sometimes, but I've never had any talk to me. I probably go out to social events once a week (not necessarily looking to meet someone, but just to be out with friends) and I have NEVER once been approached by a guy. I go to wine tastings, local concerts, sporting events, outdoor bars, local festivals, you name it, nothing ever comes of it. But when I go out with guys I meet online and I tell them I never get approached in public, they are shocked and say things like "you never get hit on? You're kidding, right?" Do guys even ask girls out that way anymore? I really want to give up on the online thing, too many flakes. But if I do, I won't get to go out at all! I approached a girl at a Halloween party recently, had a conversation and asked for her number. She turned me down, but there you have it. One point that I think needs to be made is that if girls want more guys to approach them, you need to make an effort to look approachable. A lot of women I see seem to have their shields up all the time. When you're out in public, are your eyesballs glued to your phone? Do you have your earbuds in your ears listening to your iPod? Do you travel in packs with other women all the time? Are you not making an effort to smile and make eye contact with guys you're attracted to? Do you have closed body language? Someone recently told me about the New Yorker style: walking as fast as you can, head down, not making eye contact with anyone. If you're doing any of these things, ladies, I'm sorry to tell you, you are not approachable, and guys will think twice about striking up a conversation with you. Edited November 10, 2015 by oberkeat 2
RecentChange Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I approached a girl at a Halloween party recently, had a conversation and asked for her number. She turned me down, but there you have it. You know, I met my guy at a Halloween party! We started talking, he was cute and charming, asked if we could get a drink together later that week - the rest is history. one point that I think needs to be made is that if girls want more guys to approach them, you need to make an effort to look approachable. A lot of women I see seem to have their shields up all the time. When you're out in public, are your eyesballs glued to your phone? Do you have your earbuds in your ears listening to your iPod? Do you travel in packs with other women all the time? Are you not making an effort to smile and make eye contact with guys you're attracted to? Do you have closed body language? Someone recently told me about the New Yorker style: walking as fast as you can, head down, not making eye contact with anyone. If you're doing any of these things, ladies, I'm sorry to tell you, you are not approachable, and guys will think twice about striking up a conversation with you. Yep all of this. I purposely don't just started at my phone while out. I keep my eyes up, make eye contact, and I am not scared to start a conversation. Maybe that comes off as "desperate" as some here seem to fear if a woman iniciates conversation with a man.... But you don't have to start it with "are you single?!?"
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I would imagine it's still very common
thecrucible Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 A couple of things: 1. I'm really sorry for that horrible experience, I don't blame you for being guarded after something like that. 2. Guys approach based on looks. It's a simple fact. Why else would they approach? They have nothing else to go on. BUT - he shouldn't just be saying "can i have your number?" immediately. I've approached a lot of women and not asked for their number. Why? Because either I find out they are with someone, or I am not that interested in them after talking to them. The ones I ask for their number are the ones I find I have something in common with and gel to some degree. Oh I agree with you on your second point. If you read between the lines of the post you quoted, you can tell. What I mean is that I like to have had a bit of conversation with a random stranger before he just goes straight in with the number request. 1
Myragal Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 Oh I agree with you on your second point. If you read between the lines of the post you quoted, you can tell. What I mean is that I like to have had a bit of conversation with a random stranger before he just goes straight in with the number request. Agree, I need a decent conversation...10 minutes. And...I like it when he plans something. We may have talked about music, history, hiking, etc. I prefer it when he says suggests a specific activity. 'It would be nice to go to...', etc. I like a guy who is proactive and organized. 1
Zippy2000 Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 To answer your question. Yes guy still approach girls in public places. I did last year July 2014 and I m STILL speaking to her! Before online dating I asked a girl out at a supermarket. Im fact I asked out 3 from the supermarket but not the same one. Its hard as you dont know anything about them so the conversation can go dry or some girls react as if you are some sort of stalker and you can tell by their body langage they feel uncomfortable. The girl I asked out happened to work behind a bar. She was kitchen staff and I walked right up to her and introduced myself and gave her my number. She chose to text me the very next day and we are still in contact. I think shge liked the confidence in me by walking past all the members of the public and I just got on with it. When I was there chatting to her. It felt like it was just her and I. I didnt care what anyone else thought. If you read some threads here. Theres a lot of men who say they dont chase. No wonder they are single. You have to approach women and take a risk. Online dating isnt as bad for rejection as if yhey dont like you. A lot of people dont bother replying to you. SO yes, there are some us "the old school" who still ask women out the traditional way. 1
Myragal Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 To answer your question. Yes guy still approach girls in public places. I did last year July 2014 and I m STILL speaking to her! Before online dating I asked a girl out at a supermarket. Im fact I asked out 3 from the supermarket but not the same one. Its hard as you dont know anything about them so the conversation can go dry or some girls react as if you are some sort of stalker and you can tell by their body langage they feel uncomfortable. The girl I asked out happened to work behind a bar. She was kitchen staff and I walked right up to her and introduced myself and gave her my number. She chose to text me the very next day and we are still in contact. I think shge liked the confidence in me by walking past all the members of the public and I just got on with it. When I was there chatting to her. It felt like it was just her and I. I didnt care what anyone else thought. If you read some threads here. Theres a lot of men who say they dont chase. No wonder they are single. You have to approach women and take a risk. Online dating isnt as bad for rejection as if yhey dont like you. A lot of people dont bother replying to you. SO yes, there are some us "the old school" who still ask women out the traditional way. Good for you. Several million relationships start every year. A few million of those are from males approaching a female in a public setting, a few million through OLD, probably a million through Meet Up, etc. These happen in all countries, states, age groups. I'm always amused when a male bemoaned not being able to find suitable women. Tens of millions of males do it...they have initiative and confidence.
ASG Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 A lot of women I see seem to have their shields up all the time. When you're out in public, are your eyesballs glued to your phone? Do you have your earbuds in your ears listening to your iPod? Do you travel in packs with other women all the time? Are you not making an effort to smile and make eye contact with guys you're attracted to? Do you have closed body language? Someone recently told me about the New Yorker style: walking as fast as you can, head down, not making eye contact with anyone. If you're doing any of these things, ladies, I'm sorry to tell you, you are not approachable, and guys will think twice about striking up a conversation with you. You know... I do ALL of that. On PURPOSE! I don't want to be approached. And somehow, it still happens!!!!!!!! I wish it didn't. I just find it so awkward... And then they ask for my number, like 2 sentences in and I am honestly not sure what they're even thinking!! Of course the answer is gonna be no!!! Like, the guy who approached me as I was coming out of the tube station... I was walking. He starts walking beside me, trying to make conversation. I was polite, but not engaging. And he asks for my number! WHAT!??!? I said no and started walking faster.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 To answer your question. Yes guy still approach girls in public places. I did last year July 2014 and I m STILL speaking to her! Before online dating I asked a girl out at a supermarket. Im fact I asked out 3 from the supermarket but not the same one. Its hard as you dont know anything about them so the conversation can go dry or some girls react as if you are some sort of stalker and you can tell by their body langage they feel uncomfortable. The girl I asked out happened to work behind a bar. She was kitchen staff and I walked right up to her and introduced myself and gave her my number. She chose to text me the very next day and we are still in contact. I think shge liked the confidence in me by walking past all the members of the public and I just got on with it. When I was there chatting to her. It felt like it was just her and I. I didnt care what anyone else thought. If you read some threads here. Theres a lot of men who say they dont chase. No wonder they are single. You have to approach women and take a risk. Online dating isnt as bad for rejection as if yhey dont like you. A lot of people dont bother replying to you. SO yes, there are some us "the old school" who still ask women out the traditional way. well ya because reality apparently designed it that way
oberkeat Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 The problem I've found with approaching women in public is that almost every time I've done so, the girl had a bf or is married. I'll be having a conversation with some girl, and her bf will show up, or I'll notice a ring on her finger. The other day, I met a woman, had a great conversation, asked her to lunch, and she said she'd like to, but that might not be cool with this guy she's engaged to. After a few times, that gets really deflating, and you start to think "why bother?"
gaius Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 I used to occasionally back when I was single. If I got the vibe she was interested in talking. Either give him great eye contact and a smile or hangout in close proximity for a while when you really don't have to. Those are the two best ways if you want to draw a guys attention.
smackie9 Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 Yes they do........at the grocery store, while I'm pumpin gas, at the bar.....
MoreAmore Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 Yes. I was approached in the laundrymat just today. I'd say it happens fairly often. They usually flirt and give an opportunity for you to get out and save embarrassment before asking you out.
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