Matt4374 Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 Me and wife just recently separated would be out of line if went to the house and took our trash to the street for her should I just stay away for now?
PegNosePete Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 I would say you would have to provide a whole lot more detail if you want any meaningful replies. Why did you move out? What are the terms of the separation? Is it permanent/temporary? Does she have a disability that prevents her taking the trash out herself?
Author Matt4374 Posted November 9, 2015 Author Posted November 9, 2015 We separated cause she said wasn't happy and didn't love me anymore and wanted space. She is fully capable but thought be nice gesture to show her I still care.
d0nnivain Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 Do not just randomly show up where she is living to take out the trash or do anything else without clearing it with her in advance. Although you see it as a nice gesture designed to prove you still care, you caring is not the problem. She asked you to move out because she doesn't care about you or the marriage any more. If you just show up & do things like take out the trash, she will see it as controlling & creepy. You will become the stalker guy she hates. Don't do it.
PegNosePete Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 If she wants space do you really think it's a good idea to go creeping around moving trash cans? Don't be the creepy neighbourhood stalker guy.
d0nnivain Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 It doesn't matter that it had been your marital home. It's about you invading her space & life after she asked you to go away. Think about how you'd feel if you were trying to dump somebody but she wouldn't take the hint & go away. Instead she kept coming to your house unannounced & unwelcome to do "nice" things for you. Don't you think you would be uncomfortable & resentful?
Author Matt4374 Posted November 9, 2015 Author Posted November 9, 2015 Thanks great points is offering to help with the kids consider creepy?
PegNosePete Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 Have you spoken to a lawyer? It was probably a bad idea to have left the house in the first place. No, helping with the kids is not creepy. Sneaking around putting out the trash like some kind of trash ninja is very creepy.
Author Matt4374 Posted November 9, 2015 Author Posted November 9, 2015 Reason I left was she wanted space.I think staying there would add to her resentment.
d0nnivain Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 Thanks great points is offering to help with the kids consider creepy? Offering is not creepy but it is a bit pathetic. Showing up unannounced is. You can even offer to take out the trash. What you can't do is show up where she's living unannounced & do things.
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