Do women ever get out of the "friend zone" if a man has put them there?

[Myragal]

Friend zoned or not, I wouldn't want to be someone's second choice. Have some self worth and move on.

 

Exactly. I want to be nuts about man and he the same for me. An adult shouldn't wait on the side lines 'hoping'. No desire for a relationship of convenience or after their other relationship fails.

[xxCourt96xx]

I've been wondering about this a lot lately. Probably a lot more than I should.

I have a friend. Literally everything everything I've ever wanted in a guy. That sounds trite but it's true. And I'd like to say it's the same for him too--I get him and care about him in ways other women haven't. The problem? I've been friend zoned.

We had a near miss about a year ago--that resulted in a heated make out after a long period of him not being involved with anyone, and he told me after that he basically didn't want to pursue anything. I was hurt and took my time away, planning to never really be friends with him again. And then we got back in touch. And we click like we always have. And in all the times we've talked or been together since, he's never been able to give me a reason why he didn't want to try to pursue anything with me. The physical chemistry is good, the attraction is still present on both ends, and he says it wasn't my personality. The best I can figure, he was chasing after and interested in a girl at the time (who we'd later learn) was really not a nice person to him.

 

I moved and the likelihood of anything ever happening for us is now unlikely. But I think of him every day. And I never saw our paths crossing the first time.

 

So guys, long story short, has a girl ever got out of the friend zone after you've placed her there? Have you ever changed your mind about a friend years later?

 

In the meantime, I'm dating someone casually. He's a nice guy. And the one thing that keeps me from committing? The thought that this friend could somehow come back into my life. Which I know sounds ridiculous. And I can't tell the guy I'm dating that--"oh I'm sorry, I can't be exclusive with you because I have a friend who rejected me and he's going to maybe change his opinion." Yeah. Right. It's like I'm in love with him or something.

 

From a girl- I'm one of the ones that made it out, but even then, I didn't technically make it out. It was the end of high school and I developed feelings for the stoner loner in my history class. I decided I wanted to befriend him, therefore I did. I would follow him to lunch every day and I basically forced myself into his life. I wanted more from him, I wanted to know everything about him and I pried and pried and pried. My friends told me I was stupid for prying because he wasn't budging and opening up to me. He knew how I felt and told me nothing would happen between us because the compatibility wasn't there. It hurt hearing that, especially since he kissed me at one point and told me not to tell anyone because it really didn't mean anything. Eventually, after several months of being in the friendzone I gave myself the self respect I deserved and gave up. I met someone else and started dating him. The friend suddenly realized he lost my loyalty of always being there, and after a lot of pondering, realized he had loved me all along. But by then I was already gone and I never really looked back. Him and I are close friends to this day and he was one of my rocks when my relationship ended, and he ended up meeting someone else who he loves dearly and wouldn't trade for anything.

 

So to answer your questions, girls do make it out of the friendzone, but there's a lot of factors behind it. Sometimes you don't really realize what you have until it's gone. I think "got out" solely because I stopped being emotionally available to him. I was there for him no matter what, like his little stalkerish puppydog. So when I found someone else, I wasn't there anymore...I didn't follow him to lunch anymore unless he asked me, and when I did all I did was talk about my new boyfriend. Sometimes it's too late by the time you de-friendzone that girl, such as my situation. In my opinion I'd say just don't be afraid to get close to the guy you're seeing. It's not fair to him to keep your eyes on that other guy. Guys are stubborn and they don't realize what they have in front of him. His loss...don't let the possibility of him coming back keep you from being in other relationships. Because you could be missing out on something real special if you stay hung up over that other guy.

Edited November 24, 2015 by xxCourt96xx

[Oregon_Dude]

Only at the end of "He's Just Not That Into You" (movie).

 

IRL.. nope.

[Andamillionmiles]

One other thing: when he kissed me, it had been several years since he had ever kissed a woman. Not since that girlfriend he mentioned in the text, back in high school. Since her, he's never dated again. Not even a single date. He made it through college without so much as a kiss or a date--and he's good looking, smart and funny.

 

This year he's gone on 3 dates....and none since summer.

 

I guess I don't know what I'm getting at, other than he doesn't date or kiss women often. Even women he otherwise would be interested in.

This is the guy who told me this summer while we were catching up, that a date had gone well but "he was observing the 5 day rule, so he didn't look to eager" before texting her. He legitimately believes in these and other "rules".

 

I'm still the last and only girl to have woken up in his apartment.

He asked me the other night if I still go on dates. I said yes, asked him the same and his reply was, "no. I guess I should start trying to ask for numbers again."

Edited November 25, 2015 by Andamillionmiles

[Krieger]

I am way to old to let woman but me in the friend zone but I but young girls in the friend zone because I fell she might be to young for me . Most of the woman that have no man at school are like 18 to 22 years old and sure it is fun to hang out with young woman but there are not in the same place I am wanting a real relationship .

 

However I rather date woman 10 years younger because they are less likely to have kids and less baggage.

 

I just do not want to be a woman last hope to get married and have kids not interested. Also if a woman cant pick a d@#$ to save your life stay away from me. Meaning if you keep going for guys that a losers for 10+ years do not come crying to me about it.