kismetkismet Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 haha wellp i suppose that is it for you two.. You will never be able to trust what he says anymore. The funny thing is that if he had just behaved normally for a first date a) You wouldn't have become confused and suspicious and gotten your friend to message him b) Even if you had, what he has just said there is perfectly normal and acceptable for someone to say after having been on one date with a person. HOWEVER, since he loaded you up with all of that false flattery he's now lost his credibility.
katiegrl Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 He text me "hello" again. I text him "bye". He calls immediately and I decline. Now he's blowing up my phone. He's an ahole right? I'm not overreacting? Wow talk about BUSTED! Sheesh. No you are not over-reacting...YES he is an a-hole ..... AND a player..... AND a liar. NEXT!!!!!!!!! 1
Gaeta Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Wow talk about BUSTED! Sheesh. No you are not over-reacting...YES he is an a-hole ..... AND a player..... AND a liar. NEXT!!!!!!!!! I would call him a BAD player because really.....he got caught like an amateur. 1
kismetkismet Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 He text me "hello" again. I text him "bye". He calls immediately and I decline. Now he's blowing up my phone. He's an ahole right? I'm not overreacting? Like I implied above.. what he said to your friend was not an ******* thing to say on a dating site after going on one date with a person. Most people don't close all doors after one date. Under normal circumstances that wouldn't be a big deal. However, he was trying to manipulate you or something with excessive amounts of flattery and saying things he didn't mean. He didn't NEED to exaggerate to that extent, in fact he shot himself in the foot by doing so. Now you'll never know whether what he says to you is true/a lie/a gross exaggeration. I wouldn't call him an *******, more of an idiot with pretty poor dating skills. So that he learns from his mistake I would probably just message him being like 'your over the top approach set me on edge and I became suspicious of your intentions.. Something felt off because no one actually loves another person after one date. I know that it's immature of me, but I had a friend message you bla bla bla... you should really tone back your dating approach and just try being honest and get to know people. good bye sir" and drop it. There's no need to drag things out with this child. just roll your eyes dust yourself off and carry on. 2
LivingDeadGrl Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 You guys had one date, so if he talks to another girl on POF it shouldn't be a big deal. He also did tell your friend he was seeing you and it went well, doesn't mean he can't see other prospects until you're committed. Also, you set him up. I had a guy talk about marriage within a few dates, he didn't say he loved me but basically told me he wanted me to be his wife. We finally slept together and 4 days later he broke up with me. Met a guy on POF back in September who said the L word twice after only hanging out 3 times. I said "you don't love me, you don't even know me" his response was "yes I do, when you know you just know"... Actually, you're right... And I know you are clingy and desperate. Next. I personally wouldn't waste my time. Any guy with a good head on his shoulders knows not to say the L word right away. 1
katiegrl Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I would call him a BAD player because really.....he got caught like an amateur. Gaeta..... next time you suggest to a woman (who suspects a guy she's dating is full of crap) that she should create a fake profile ... and you get criticized or knocked down for it.... Tell them they can kiss your ass! LOL And you can tell them I suggested it too!! WOW! 2
Gaeta Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Gaeta..... next time you suggest to a woman (who suspects a new guy is full of crap) that she should create a fake profile ... and you get criticized or knocked down for it.... Tell them they can kiss your ass! LOL And you can tell them I suggested it too!! WOW! See! it's quick and clear. 2
Author Confusedovo Posted November 10, 2015 Author Posted November 10, 2015 haha wellp i suppose that is it for you two.. You will never be able to trust what he says anymore. The funny thing is that if he had just behaved normally for a first date a) You wouldn't have become confused and suspicious and gotten your friend to message him b) Even if you had, what he has just said there is perfectly normal and acceptable for someone to say after having been on one date with a person. HOWEVER, since he loaded you up with all of that false flattery he's now lost his credibility. Exactly! If he had acted normal, what he said is fine. But since I'm so amazing and he loves me...it doesn't add up does he. Well to the poster who thinks I'm bad for going along with my friend...I'm glad I did. I had a feeling I should and so did she. He is going CRAZY with the calls and texts. "please talk to me baby" and he msged my friends profile "i know who you are" obvs meaning me. 2
Gaeta Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Her friend even offered him to not get involved and let him get to know OP and he insisted they keep in touch !!!
Gaeta Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 and he msged my friends profile "i know who you are" obvs meaning me. lol busted !!!!
Gaeta Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 He is going CRAZY with the calls and texts. "please talk to me baby" and he msged my friends profile "i know who you are" obvs meaning me. Pick up the phone and tell him he's a M and an A-H. If he wants to play women he better get better at it. Tell him to not contact you again and hand up. 1
bettermistakes Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I'm sorry I went through something very similar a few months ago. Four dates and lots of talk about I was the best thing since sliced bread, even claiming "I think I've been waiting for you." Then, poof, gone! He just popped back up on dating site where I connected with him and his profile said he was "just looking for loyalty and consistency." Uh....okay dude. And it does sting even though it has absolutely nothing to do with you. It's not fun to be used. And that's what I feel like these types of guys are doing. Just playing out these little fantasies for themselves.
katiegrl Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 (edited) See! it's quick and clear. Yup, saved A LOT of time in the long run. From the OP's original post.... We were not long ago saying our goodnights (texts) and he said "love you sweetheart" I was shocked. I was NOT expecting that. I told him "you don't love me yet" he said "well I like you sooo much....but ;)" I was like but what? He called me and said "I feel like I love you. You know about love at first sight?" I said "yeah you believe in it?" Je said "yes its happened to people I know maybe that's what happens to me" I told him it worries me his feelings will die just as quick. Of course he said no. .... meanwhile he's skulking the internet for other chicks, pursuing them, telling them he's dating but nothing serious. You can't get much more snaky than that. Man I am like in shock here -- unbelievable. Edited November 10, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Gaeta Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Confuse: Don't think players look like players. You said in your original post he really does not come across as the type to play for sex. That is exactly what he was doing, he was sweet-talking you into bed. 1
katiegrl Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Confuse: Don't think players look like players. You said in your original post he really does not come across as the type to play for sex. That is exactly what he was doing, he was sweet-talking you into bed. Otherwise known as BLOWTORCHING?
Author Confusedovo Posted November 10, 2015 Author Posted November 10, 2015 Its Shyt. Call me a baby but I'm crying here. Only users or abusers seem to like me. Ugh. I'm laughing as well as crying tho, cause....well its so stupid. So much for not needing pof anymore. Ugh I did like him. Our date was so good and he's so good looking... Not sure what to do next....should I just tell him straight?
Author Confusedovo Posted November 10, 2015 Author Posted November 10, 2015 You know I'm gonna shout at him if I answer the phone...
Gaeta Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Its Shyt. Call me a baby but I'm crying here. Only users or abusers seem to like me. Ugh. I'm laughing as well as crying tho, cause....well its so stupid. So much for not needing pof anymore. Ugh I did like him. Our date was so good and he's so good looking... Not sure what to do next....should I just tell him straight? Yes I think you should tell him, it will help you put him behind you. It sucks I know I have been there more than once. Just allow yourself to be sad and disappointed and tomorrow you get back on the saddle. It's not really him that you're crying, it's just the disappointment after disappointment is getting to us at some point. There are good guys out there, I promise you! 1
katiegrl Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Its Shyt. Call me a baby but I'm crying here. Only users or abusers seem to like me. Ugh. I'm laughing as well as crying tho, cause....well its so stupid. So much for not needing pof anymore. Ugh I did like him. Our date was so good and he's so good looking... Not sure what to do next....should I just tell him straight? Sweetie, you tell him this (courtesy of Gaeta). "Dude...if you want to play women... I suggest you get better at it cause as it stands now, you suck. I'm out... don't contact me again. And hang up (or just text him.)
Gaeta Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 You know I'm gonna shout at him if I answer the phone... so what? you won't see him again. Last weekend I had a 1st date with a man. After the movie he invited me to his place I declined. He kept insisting we should go to his place so I let it all out !!: I said: I am SO F-in tired of this F BS and *&6%%$ and *&?5$6 I think he got scared lol, but it felt good. I got out of his car, slammed the door and went home.
juicygirl Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 You need to trust yourself more. The big RED flags were there and you could feel it. The friend trap I don't agree with because I don't like games. You alright figured it out on your own. I had a guy tell me he wanted to marry me on the 1st date, bloody nut job. 1
katiegrl Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 (edited) You know I'm gonna shout at him if I answer the phone... No no no..... too much drama. And indicates to him you were too invested. Stay calm and tell him what was suggested in previous post.... DO NOT start becoming emotional, yelling or whatevs. That gives him too much power.... which obviously he doesn't deserve, the guy is a bonafide skank. After you say what I (and Gaeta initially) suggested, you BLOCK HIM. Then go about your merry way... And be thankful you weeded him out early....before you got even more invested.... Good luck hon....you'll be fine! Lesson learned. Edited November 10, 2015 by katiegrl
katiegrl Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Confused, are you okay? Have you been talking to him? My fear is that you bought his BS story and have "forgiven" him. BTDT, so I get it.... I hope you didn't.... but it is what it is I guess. Keep us posted! 1
thecrucible Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 The best way to respond is to act like you've moved on and are too busy to be concerned with his BS. For me, I suppose it's normal to assume a guy who's only been on one date with you, won't see you two as exclusive. What gets to me though is that he fed you all these dishonest lines. I would be quite insulted by that - that he wants to butter you up with false declarations of love and just wants you to lap it up. It certainly seems like he's playing you. I've come across guys like this and saying that kind of stuff is part of their game and if it wasn't you they'd be doing that to another woman.
Myragal Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 All I need to do is read the first post. What type of well adjusted male acts like this. He loves you? Spend Christmas? He is out of touch with basic social expectations. The rest of his behavior...meh... Anything weird would have been expected. There is no reality for him. Even lives in a fantasy world.
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