timotelo Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 So ill try keep this short, i met my Gf a 4 months ago, she ended it with her ex as she said he didn't trust her but we got together 3 days after her break up...thinking this was a rebound i went along with the fun, we got serious fast and i don't think i would count it as a rebound, she said she loved me and i love her. I like her company, we talk a fair bit, have some stuff in common. she moved in after 2-3 weeks (she lived with her nana so it would be easier this way) but that's not what is bugging me. We was talking about our exs. I went first then her...she told me alot, maybe to much but one that stood out the most was the fact that she and her ex would go talk and see to her family. Once when I met her dad for the first time. Her dad would say that her and her ex was a perfect team (I was in the rest room so i over heard this) We went to see her sister who was like her mother said she needed to sort her priority and get with someone closer to her age (10 year age gap, once again i waited outside and over heard this) her cousins and niece think i'm weird, one even said it to my face. I know that they liked the other guy before me. I know him, he's okay But so am I, i kept it cool, calm and polite. Basicly now 3 months into our relationship she won't speak to her family and i feel like i am the main cause. I don't want her to stop speaking to them because of her past they have done a hell of a lot for her...I don't want her to throw it all away but i don't want us to end but i will have to if needs be. I have tried to talk to her about this but never get a straight answer. Any tips, tricks or advice? am i not seeing something that is obvious? sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes
almond Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 This all sounds very, very messy to me. Dumped her ex because he didn't trust her...hooked up with you a couple of days later. You thought this was a rebound, but you still allowed her to move in with you after only a couple of weeks because it would be "easier?" I'm afraid that I'm struggling to follow the logic here How old are you two if you don't mind sharing? Anyway, it's good that you care about her family connections. I would agree with you that it's not healthy that she cut all ties with them, however, I don't know these people. All you can do is talk to her and share your concerns - her choices are her own, and she must live with the consequences. Good luck...I have a feeling you two may need it!
Author timotelo Posted November 9, 2015 Author Posted November 9, 2015 I fully understand that it messy. I know there story he did not trust her but she said she gave no reason not to. She said she was the one that ended it with him and they tried to fix it then he ended it, called off there engagement she went to fix it again then noticed it wasn't fixable so she ended it...all messy but i am convinced that she is over it, to me it is alarming that she could of moved on so fast to some girls can but im getting side tracked, I have tried to talk about it last night, I did not push it just a ligh hearted talk and she told me if they can't accept her choice then she has to cut them off. I told her that family is important and i told her that she should not throw them away all because of me. It only started to bug me alot when she went into hospital about a serious medical issue and not one member went to see her. It is bad enough that her family dislikes me so much but it is even worst knowing that im the cause. I don't have much family but they we still talk even when they think it was stupid, they still treat her with respect and treat her like one of our own. On the outside she doesn't show any sign that it is bothering her but her behaviour is acting like it is. I am 31 and she is 21. I have never had to deal with anything like this so i am clueless
Httm Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 You allowed her to move in after 2-3 weeks and chose to see someone right after they ended a previous relationship. You reap what you sow.
mystikmind2005 Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 I would back off a little bit on this.... a woman can get very defensive in this kind of situation,,, and also, you have to understand, any family that gets between a woman and her man is going to incur her wrath,,, if your not careful you will come between them and get in her firing line and she may decide not to hold back... you have been warned.
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