imtheone Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 So me and my ex agreed to be friends, but i pushed her saying i wanted more and she said its best to stay friends for now. so i asked her to transfer some money she owed me so i can cut all ties with her, she ignored me, tried to call but she again ignored me, i got angry and said keep the money guess this is goodbye, i felt bad after snapping so i said i was a bit harsh and dont mind being friends, again she ignored this, next day i text again and said i accept we are friends but dont understand why shes ignoring me about the money, its not like she needs it cause shes filthy rich, also i said it seems like shes holding onto the money cause she dont want to let me go, cause otherwise she would have given it back and told me to leave her alone, anyway she ignored this of course, then i reply that night saying i reacted like a d**k, i still want to work on our friendship, and that im going to delete her details to stop making a fool of myself by texting all the time, and told her its down to her if she gets in touch and if i dont hear from her again then to look after herself, and said i regret acting this way and its my fault. so ive apologised for my crazy immature behaviour but i still havnt heard nothing from her. like i said i accept we are just friends thats fine but i just dont understand why shes ignoring me about the money when i politley asked for it before i got angry. Is she upset? or doesnt she care at all anymore hence the silent treatment? im giving her space but its driving me insane. help please!!!!
LoveIsMyReligion Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Cut your losses and move on. Friendship will not work, it was only a way for her to break-up with you in a nice manner. You need to accept the fact that you were fired from your job. When you're fired from your job you don't contact them for references or to pick-up your other belongings, you should have done this the day you were "fired". Sorry man, but this girl ignoring you isn't code for anything. It's her saying, leave me alone.
pidgeon1010 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Seems to me she has responded in a mature manner (i.e. silence) and decided not to feed your emotional outbursts. You need to start working on yourself and get to a more emotionally-balanced state during this period of no contact. None of what you described sounds attractive. Hold off until she reaches out again, if ever.
louxor Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 So me and my ex agreed to be friends, but i pushed her saying i wanted more and she said its best to stay friends for now. Do not remain friends with her - That is not what you want, it is what she wants. You must choose what is best for you, and if she can't give you what you want, then she doesn't get anything from you. It's take it or leave it. You must find the self respect to get up and walk away when someone cannot provide you with what you need. Do not let her control you like this. I was in a similar situation, my ex wanted to remain friends with me. Initially I accepted this because I was so hurt and didn't want to lose her completely, but at the end of the day I realised that being her friend was not what I wanted, and so I no longer agreed to terms that I was not okay with. By accepting her friendship when you don't really want it, you are not benefitting yourself in any way. You may feel that by sticking around as her friend she may realise she misses you and come back - This is simply not the case. The longer you hang around when you don't want to, the more respect she will lose for you.
Triggs1234 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 I am in a similar situation. My ex moved to NYC and decided she needed time to be alone and work on herself while she start her new career. I supported her decision and after some time she began to distance herself more and more. She stated she would like to remain friends, but honestly it is a lot easier said than done. I have a lot of feelings still for her and love the girl. I think I have learned despite trying to be friends, those feelings still showed through and basically pushed her farther away. I think her offering friendship to me was a way of being nice, but in reality didn't want to be friends. I wouldn't be friends with her. It is a way of her saying, well I offered friendship etc to make herself feel ok about her decision. Needless to say, 3+ weeks have gone by and she has cut all ties to me and has seemed to have moved on. Sucks, but have to let it be.
Myragal Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 So me and my ex agreed to be friends, but i pushed her saying i wanted more and she said its best to stay friends for now. so i asked her to transfer some money she owed me so i can cut all ties with her, she ignored me, tried to call but she again ignored me, i got angry and said keep the money guess this is goodbye, i felt bad after snapping so i said i was a bit harsh and dont mind being friends, again she ignored this, next day i text again and said i accept we are friends but dont understand why shes ignoring me about the money, its not like she needs it cause shes filthy rich, also i said it seems like shes holding onto the money cause she dont want to let me go, cause otherwise she would have given it back and told me to leave her alone, anyway she ignored this of course, then i reply that night saying i reacted like a d**k, i still want to work on our friendship, and that im going to delete her details to stop making a fool of myself by texting all the time, and told her its down to her if she gets in touch and if i dont hear from her again then to look after herself, and said i regret acting this way and its my fault. so ive apologised for my crazy immature behaviour but i still havnt heard nothing from her. like i said i accept we are just friends thats fine but i just dont understand why shes ignoring me about the money when i politley asked for it before i got angry. Is she upset? or doesnt she care at all anymore hence the silent treatment? im giving her space but its driving me insane. help please!!!! You have become more like a stalker. Over the top behavior then contrition. Every single psychologist, social worker, etc. will give her the same advise...ignore. Have zero contact. If she is smart she will never contact you.
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