treehugger101 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Last night, my Boyfriend of 10 months, almost a year, goes and tells me, he contacted my ex, and he asked him, all that we did together, and he told him everything. But he says he talked to my ex 5 years ago in like 2007. When my ex and I didn't become a couple until 2008 through 2011. He says it must of been a different person, but he says this person says he was with someone for 3 years, so it must have been my ex. My current Boyfriend must have just gotten the years mixed up. My point is that, I find it weird that he would go as far as contacting my ex, let alone asking him personal stuff like what him and I did while together. Have any of you, ever had a girlfriend or boyfriend, contact your ex to get information? What happened, what did you do?
LostOnes05 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 LOL, heck no. They might have asked mutual friends about me but that's it. Dude sounds like Inspector Gadget. And that's a bit disconcerting to ask another man what he did with his gf at the time.
Empyrea Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Duuude, that's messed up. Red flag alert! You mean he contacted him recently? Saying that hi, I'm dating your ex gf, tell me everything! And also that they briefly spoke or were friendly before you and your ex had even started dating or something? So that was his window to even go and talk to this stranger basically? Or did I get something wrong here. In any case, still a huge red flag. Had he asked you about the relationship and you refused do divulge or what?
Glitters Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 This is a first for me ! Never heard of this before
HansonGirl Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Last night, my Boyfriend of 10 months, almost a year, goes and tells me, he contacted my ex, and he asked him, all that we did together, and he told him everything. But he says he talked to my ex 5 years ago in like 2007. When my ex and I didn't become a couple until 2008 through 2011. He says it must of been a different person, but he says this person says he was with someone for 3 years, so it must have been my ex. My current Boyfriend must have just gotten the years mixed up. My point is that, I find it weird that he would go as far as contacting my ex, let alone asking him personal stuff like what him and I did while together. Have any of you, ever had a girlfriend or boyfriend, contact your ex to get information? What happened, what did you do? That would definitely make me feel weird. But we need more details .Did he say why he did this?
Zapbasket Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Given, it's weird, period, but...why would he feel the need to do this ten months into your relationship? Any clue what he was seeking to find out that he couldn't have found out just from asking you?
Clarence_Boddicker Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 That's kinda crazy. If some random guy called me wanting feedback for an ex of mine, I'd be temped to have a bit of fun at his expense. I guess there's more I don't understand about millennials. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Last night, my Boyfriend of 10 months, almost a year, goes and tells me, he contacted my ex, and he asked him, all that we did together, and he told him everything. But he says he talked to my ex 5 years ago in like 2007. When my ex and I didn't become a couple until 2008 through 2011. He says it must of been a different person, but he says this person says he was with someone for 3 years, so it must have been my ex. My current Boyfriend must have just gotten the years mixed up. My point is that, I find it weird that he would go as far as contacting my ex, let alone asking him personal stuff like what him and I did while together. Have any of you, ever had a girlfriend or boyfriend, contact your ex to get information? What happened, what did you do? No, I have never experienced this. And if I did, that man would no longer be my boyfriend. OP, you have a few threads going about problems in your relationship, lack of trust, and so on. Why are you with this guy? The relationship doesn't sound very good. 2
Odinani Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Break up with him ASAP. Then, a few months down the line, call his new girlfriend and give her the 411 on him 1
d0nnivain Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 I'd be atomic. There is no reason on earth for your current SO to contact your EX -- ever! If a guy did that to me, I'd dump him immediately. The trust would be gone. The amount of drama, immaturity & inappropriate attempt control demonstrated by that contact would be insurmountable to me. 3
joseb Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Did he tell you why he contacted your ex? I don't understand why he would do that, what was the purpose, and indeed why he would tell you And how does he have your exes details? This all sounds a little....odd......
KatZee Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 I'd be atomic. There is no reason on earth for your current SO to contact your EX -- ever! If a guy did that to me, I'd dump him immediately. The trust would be gone. The amount of drama, immaturity & inappropriate attempt control demonstrated by that contact would be insurmountable to me. This. I'd be so beyond livid and would end it the moment he told me that or I found out. There is absolutely no reason he needs to be crossing boundaries like that, digging into your past, asking about your personal details. This honestly makes me sick and would freak me out to no end. I would never date or remain with anyone who thought it was acceptable to go behind my back and do this. Over. Bye.
wheream_i Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 The only time I've ever contacted a previous BF of a girl was with was when things got legal between us. I had to know if she was as crazy as I thought she was. She was. Otherwise, I would never do that to someone I was dating. If anything, I would just ask you about past BFs!
GemmaUK Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 So either your ex told your current bf about a different relationship he had had with a different woman (if they were in contact in 2007) or he contacted your ex after 2011. Either way this all happened either 4 or 7 years before you and your current bf even got together. It all sounds a bit odd to me. What happened last night for your bf to tell you this?
mystikmind2005 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 You usually get this kind of behavior from people who have been deceived badly in the past. And the more serious the relationship gets, the more pressure they feel to be sure something like that won't happen again. But insecurity is not healthy, you will have to take this matter seriously.
Author treehugger101 Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 You usually get this kind of behavior from people who have been deceived badly in the past. And the more serious the relationship gets, the more pressure they feel to be sure something like that won't happen again. But insecurity is not healthy, you will have to take this matter seriously. Yes he went through bad experiences with his ex-girlfriend and his own family issues that I ended up dating him at a bad time when all of this just hit him so he is just worried stuff will repeat itself supposely. I think he contacted my ex because I did things with him, that I am not doing with my current guy.
d0nnivain Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 . I think he contacted my ex because I did things with him, that I am not doing with my current guy. How would he know what you did or did not do with an EX. Unless you mentioned that you & the EX, say went to Disney, other "activities" especially sexual ones were never things you should have discussed. Sharing those kinds of specifics causes problems. You may need to revisit how & where you draw your own barriers.
kendahke Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 . I think he contacted my ex because I did things with him, that I am not doing with my current guy. Are you talking about social activities or sexual stuff?
mystikmind2005 Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 Yes he went through bad experiences with his ex-girlfriend and his own family issues that I ended up dating him at a bad time when all of this just hit him so he is just worried stuff will repeat itself supposely. I think he contacted my ex because I did things with him, that I am not doing with my current guy. A high level if mistrust is a difficult thing to deal with.... and even though you try to be understanding, you cannot help the way it erodes your feelings in the relationship. The answer is that this is not a problem you can deal with, he has to be the one to deal with it.
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