Robot_heart Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 (edited) Ok so I have recently become single and am in no way ready to take on a physical relationship with another man right now. I'm still very emotionally hurt by my last breakup because the guy turned out to be so fake and crazy... Anyway off that topic. I recently I started talking to a guy I met on Twitter... He lives on the east coast and I'm west so it's nice to know that we can just be online friends and can't actually go out on a date unless we traveled. Anyway I wasnt looking for love but wasn't opposed to having a little bit of fun... He's very attractive and added me on his IG and Twitter that's it. He works doing something for a radio station and he has a ton of followers. I know that he is real because I have face timed him. It's not a catfish situation. Here's my fear... I don't really know him at all and most of our conversations are sexual which was fine with me because that's all I was interested to an extent. A little bit of friendship would have been ok though. Now Suddenly I have developed this paranoia that he is sharing my photos and videos or even snapping pics of our face time conversations, with other people... A lot of it has become very dirty and recently I heard that there is private sites where guys post this kind of stuff... The reason I'm becoming so paranoid is because he only talks about sex never anything personal and he always wants vids and pics from me of the very dirty sort. I'm not going to lie I was flattered and had fun with it at first but now I'm scared all this could be shared with the public and I'm so mortified that I did this without even really knowing this person... I pray that this was just something fun for him as well but I'm scared now and there's no going back. I guess what I'm asking and maybe this is more a question for guys. Is it common for men to do this to share photos online of girls? And if so are the sites private like meaning my personal friends or co workers would not find out... I mean we do live on opposite sides of the country... Not that that matters I'm just saying most the people I know wouldn't be on sites like that anyway. I'm just afraid that this wasn't a private thing.... Edited November 8, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
J21 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Just stop doing it. Better to be safe than sorry. I don't see why there was a reason to have done that sorta thing in the first place. 1
CarrieT Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Unfortunately, yes - for guys trolling the internet asking girls to do things like you have done, there are a TON of sites where that stuff gets shared and you might never know of its existence. Since it is done and there is nothing you can do about it, take it as a warning and don't do it again. And just hope that some future suitor doesn't find you on one of those sites. 1
thecrucible Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Is your face in any of the photos? You can also do reverse image search to see if the pics are anywhere else. 1
xcupid Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 It's possible. Too late now if he has done anything you're worried about. I think I'd fade away on this one if I were you. 1
Author Robot_heart Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 Just stop doing it. Better to be safe than sorry. I don't see why there was a reason to have done that sorta thing in the first place. Because I'm human and have desire... Idk why I did it but it felt good at the time and it is one of my fears that when I go to get a new boyfriend one day again he will find something like this and I will look like some kind of porn slut. I know I'm just being paranoid maybe... If I do a reverse search I do it on one of the dirty pics correct?
Author Robot_heart Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 (edited) Is your face in any of the photos? You can also do reverse image search to see if the pics are anywhere else. I did a reverse search on a bunch of my pics And nothing came up.... Edited November 9, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Removed photo link ~6
CarrieT Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 The reverse image search may only work for individual images but not for any videos that may have been recorded.
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Oh dear. This is a VERY real possibility. There is no harm nor shame in having online virtual fun (I've had plenty of fun myself in the past) BUT there are rules to doing it safely, precautions one must take especially as a woman in order to safeguard yourself from online predators. I've known several women and even one man who was blackmailed as a result of being so naive. You can NEVER EVER be too careful!!!! I agree that what's done is done now. The only thing you can do is fade out and cut all ties with this guy. DO NOT make a stink about this. It's better to exist quietly in matters like this. Does he have any personal information on you like where you life, your email, phone number etc.? OP, take this as a lesson of what NOT to do. If you're going to engage like this again in the future it's best to do some research on internet safety. I'd invite you to send me a PM to discuss this in more detail privately but it appears you're too new to have those privileges yet Good luck. 1
darkbloom Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Anything you share over the Internet can be made available to the public. So yeah something might be 'fun' but it's also probably not a good idea of you know nothing about the guy you're sending dirty pics to. Sending naked pictures to a dude youve never met in person and met on Twitter though screams bad idea.
Author Robot_heart Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 The reverse image search may only work for individual images but not for any videos that may have been recorded. Ya I'm confused about it because I put in a bunch of pics and it showed zero results.. Even my Twitter profile pic. That should have come up... Anyway I guess it's water under the bridge now. It is what it is I wont be doing this again unless i know the person. I just think it makes people look bad when they are not... I enjoyed it I just wanted to make sure it was private and I didn't think of that until I started hearing about these sites...
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Internet predators are very savvy these days. Rather than pulling pics from online sites and catalogs and such, they will often steal REAL pics of people off social media pages that are wide open to the public. This is one very good reason to keep your sh*t set on private! Reverse image search engines rarely will pick up real pictures and never videos, or at least I haven't ever heard of it. Just because you dropped a few pics this guy sent you into the image search and it comes out clean means very little these days. He'd have to be a super novice to use photos that would be easily searchable. And having IG and Twitter accounts with countless followers means ZILCH when it comes to authenticity. Just watch Catfish to have your mind blown at the level some people will go.
MightyPen Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 OP, I certainly won't criticize you for having some online fun (many of us have done similar things), but I think it's important to really, really vet your playmate(s). I mean, you have to slowly build trust and slowly get information on them. It takes time, because the other person will want it to be equitable, which is fair. A slow, steady build is the safest way to go where you both slowly exchange info in a way that allows mutual assured destruction. Jumping into something with a stranger only works if you provide no details about yourself at all (including no pics obviously). And it's always safest for women (and men) to only provide "normal" pics, or if you're going to provide more risqué ones, make sure your face (and any other distinguishing features) are not visible. 1
burnt Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 I don't see why there was a reason to have done that sorta thing in the first place. Yes, there IS always a reason for why we do the things we do. The reason may not be helpful or healthy, it may not seem like a 'sensible reason', but there is still a reason. It sounds like more of a way to cope with the breakup with the 'fake and crazy' ex. In retrospect, hindsight 20-20, of course it was a mind baffling kind of behavior; but, when we are in pain, out of desperation, we lose ability with reason things in rational ways and do things that we regret later. to OP: If he has shared photos already, nothing you can do about it; but in case he hasn't, don't mention what you're worrying about and 'carefully' cut contact w/ this guy.
Author Robot_heart Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 Yes, there IS always a reason for why we do the things we do. The reason may not be helpful or healthy, it may not seem like a 'sensible reason', but there is still a reason. It sounds like more of a way to cope with the breakup with the 'fake and crazy' ex. In retrospect, hindsight 20-20, of course it was a mind baffling kind of behavior; but, when we are in pain, out of desperation, we lose ability with reason things in rational ways and do things that we regret later. to OP: If he has shared photos already, nothing you can do about it; but in case he hasn't, don't mention what you're worrying about and 'carefully' cut contact w/ this guy. That's exactly what I'm doing I'm just going to lay low. And in all fairness we did talk for a bit prior to the sexual stuff it wasnt just bam right off the bat... He's a musician so he would ask me to tell him a song and he would cover it and sing it then send me the file.. Which i guess helped with the flattery ugggg. And he's not a catfish. I did face time with him and he's who he is in the pics. I played with the reverse search again a different method and found lots of my social media pics but none of the dirty ones. I'm not saying that makes me feel better he still could share them on a private site but as long as this is not for the public to see... What I did find is there are some nasty pics out there! Oh my... I guess I'm just embarrassed of all this and needed to vent.
joseb Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 (edited) This is why I never ever send any compromising pics of myself to anyone (even someone im dating!) as who knows what might happen down the line. And I'm a guy! On the positive side, given the amount of this kind of material out there, it's fairly unlikely that a future partner will happen to have seen your pics even if they are on some site. And it could that he's not going to share any of them anyway. But yeah, I wouldn't do that again. And don't piss him off Edited November 8, 2015 by joseb 1
loveweary11 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 So um... I volunteer to spend a week reverse image searching, scrubbing anything bad, contacting hosts to get images taken down, basically anything I can do to help at all for an invite to the Robot Heart camp! :love:
wheream_i Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Can someone explain what reverse image search is?
mystikmind2005 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 You can take comfort in the fact that there is SO much of this kind of stuff on the internet that even if he did upload it anywhere, you won't get noticed, your just one leaf on one tree in the amazon jungle!! And if you did get noticed by anyone you know,,,, i would go and buy a lotto ticket! There is safety in numbers - not that it is any reason not to heed the good advice given here by other posters! But seriously,,, wear a mask! there are plenty of sexy masks 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Can someone explain what reverse image search is? Reverse image search is a search engine technology that takes an image file as input query and returns results related to the image. Search engines that offer reverse image capability include Google and TinEye. Some websites, such as Reddit, also provide a reverse image search capacity. It's 100% accurate especially these days because of how savvy people are with where and how they steal their pics but it's worth checking out nonetheless.
thecrucible Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 I honestly feel for you OP. When I was younger, I'd share pics with boyfriends. Now I'm older I sometimes wonder who saw the pics and whether they are anywhere I wouldn't know since it's been a long time after we broke up. It's really easy to get caught up in the moment. Thing is now I wouldn't dream of sharing pictures, even with a boyfriend. I would just say "you don't need a picture. You can see me in the flesh". One of my guy friends is a teacher and he tells me that schools are focusing on teaching teenagers about the risks of 'revenge porn', something that none of us had to contend with before. It's scary. The only thing I'd worry about is if they are identified to your name. So I'd do a google search on yourself to check. If they are identified with you then I'd seek legal advice. 1
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