ErinSeMa Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Met Tinder guy on Tinder. Looks cute and good profile so I swipef right. We didn't chat much and right off bat he asked to meet. I didn't mind that since it was lunch anyways. We had lunch and he didn't seem too interested. After that "date", I haven't heard from him for 3 days. I decided to text him and asked to do lunch again. Even though he was active but it took him 30 mins later to reply, so maybe he wasn't sure? Second date actually went quite well IMO. He told me he thought I looked cute and invited me to go somewhere (outside, not inside) with him next week. Also mentioned a few times to see me again (We should grab lunch again, oh you should visit this place near my area, going to this location we both talked about etc.) I definitely felt that he was interested. Thing is...still no text since the last lunch. It has been a few days. I know it's stupid but I am not on Tinder anymore so I cannot see his last active. What should I expect? Behavior shows that he doesn't like me, but he keeps mentioning these things? Last time I checked his last active time, he haven't went on for almost a whole day (so maybe he met someone after our first date?) I really do like this guy.
Author ErinSeMa Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 (edited) Btw, forgot to mention. We are around 10 years apart. I don't think it's a huge problem for him since he asked for first date knowing my age..right? Also, don't think he's after a hookup since all the plans we have made so far and for the future is for outdoors. Edited November 8, 2015 by ErinSeMa
Inaa Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 If a guy is interested, he texts or calls. And who knows, he might be married or something, you don't know him. If you like him, you could text him something like "hi, how are you" and see if he's still interested in talking to you.
scorpiogirl Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 He doesn't sound too interested. If he were, you'd know it for sure. When he mentioned future get-togethers, did he ask with a specific day and time? If not, you don't have a "next date" yet. You've already shown your interest, now don't text or invite him on your next outing. He knows you want to go out. My guess would be that he'll say, " you should let me know when you're in my area." If he does say anything like that, don't you dare go running. That's not a date. It's evident that you " really do like this guy." It's too soon for you to be obsessing over him. Go on a date with a different person. Don't sit and wait for him. It will drive you nuts. Good luck
Author ErinSeMa Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 He doesn't sound too interested. If he were, you'd know it for sure. When he mentioned future get-togethers, did he ask with a specific day and time? If not, you don't have a "next date" yet. You've already shown your interest, now don't text or invite him on your next outing. He knows you want to go out. My guess would be that he'll say, " you should let me know when you're in my area." If he does say anything like that, don't you dare go running. That's not a date. It's evident that you " really do like this guy." It's too soon for you to be obsessing over him. Go on a date with a different person. Don't sit and wait for him. It will drive you nuts. Good luck We didn't make plans this weekend because he was out of town, but he said next weekend.
frus69 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 This is an interesting one..I'd like to know why he suggests lots of things but doesn't follow through.. Although I'm interested in his intention, I wouldn't pursue this anymore because his action/no action is a deal breaker . Would not text him would not even reply had he texted me.
mike_89 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Last time I checked his last active time, he haven't went on for almost a whole day (so maybe he met someone after our first date?) I really do like this guy. Maybe the guy is just busy. Imagine if he had a job that has him work 40 hours a week excluding travel times or meetings. Of course he wouldn't have time to text every day, more likely he would only get distracted by texting and be less productive.
scorpiogirl Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Maybe the guy is just busy. Imagine if he had a job that has him work 40 hours a week excluding travel times or meetings. Of course he wouldn't have time to text every day, more likely he would only get distracted by texting and be less productive. Nonsense. Nobody says he needs to contact her every day. However, if you were interested in getting to know a girl better and you thought your previous dates went well, would you risk her slipping through your fingers by not establishing your interest in her? You know you'd lock her down for dates and be sure to contact her enough to remind her that you're there.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 I think your initial guess that he's not very interested is accurate. You'd have heard from him by now if he really wanted to keep your interest. Some people will go out with others not necessarily because they're eager to get to you know you, but because it's convenient to do so, kill some time, when they're bored and so on. Sounds like that's the case here. I'd consider it done. 1
mike_89 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Nonsense. Nobody says he needs to contact her every day. However, if you were interested in getting to know a girl better and you thought your previous dates went well, would you risk her slipping through your fingers by not establishing your interest in her? You know you'd lock her down for dates and be sure to contact her enough to remind her that you're there. Right I'll take myself as an example. I'm working as a researcher for the university and I am completing my master's degree in statistics at the same time. Very often after a date I just don't text her again for a couple of days because I really am that busy. I am not exaggerating when I say I have only 6 hours of leisure time from Monday to Friday, and I use this time to meet up with my friends, not to text girls (and no, texting doesn't take just 5 minutes because you know you'll get a new text within the hour usually). Eventually I'll text again but only when I have time to get distracted by such things, which is usually the end of the week. If this guy is in a similar position I could very well understand how he would be interested and still not text often.
frus69 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 . Very often after a date I just don't text her again for a couple of days because I really am that busy. I have only 6 hours of leisure time from Monday to Friday, and I use this time to meet up with my friends, not to text girls Eventually I'll text again but only when I have time to get distracted by such things, which is usually the end of the week. It just means, you are not that into her. 3
phineas Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Met Tinder guy on Tinder. there's your problem. tinder is the lowest form of dating you can get these days. i'm surprised anyone actually meets someone using that app. 1
Gaeta Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 He is not interested. You're just a contact in case you decide to get to bed with him. When a man is interested he is in you face with it and you don't need to ask yourself 'is he interested' Stick with men that show their interest toward you. Sign a man isn't interested *maybe you should come in my area sometimes *we should do lunch again Sign a man IS interested *About next Sunday you come to my area and we go xyz *I'm heading out of town but would you like to grab lunch next Wednesday
mike_89 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 It just means, you are not that into her. By this logic I'd never be into a girl. It just means that I value my job, my study and my friends more highly than a girl I don't really know yet. These are healthy priorities if you'd ask me. My point is that you shouldn't let your insecurities corrode your decisions. He is possibly a quality guy (you seem to like him for sure) so if you are doubtful whether or not he is interested just pin a date at an exact time within 2 weeks (1 week is too short, it is possible that he is busy every day, 2 weeks is long enough that he really should be able to free a couple of hours in his schedule). And I don't mean "I want to meet up in the next 2 weeks", I mean "I have time 20 November at 15.00, does that fit you?".
Gaeta Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Right I'll take myself as an example. I'm working as a researcher for the university and I am completing my master's degree in statistics at the same time. Very often after a date I just don't text her again for a couple of days because I really am that busy. I am not exaggerating when I say I have only 6 hours of leisure time from Monday to Friday, and I use this time to meet up with my friends, not to text girls (and no, texting doesn't take just 5 minutes because you know you'll get a new text within the hour usually). Eventually I'll text again but only when I have time to get distracted by such things, which is usually the end of the week. If this guy is in a similar position I could very well understand how he would be interested and still not text often. You don't belong on a dating site and if it's this man's case he doesn't belong on a dating site either. If you guys only have time for casual bi-weekly dating than say so and indicate so in your profile instead of misleading women who are out there looking for something with substance. 3
mike_89 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 You don't belong on a dating site and if it's this man's case he doesn't belong on a dating site either. If you guys only have time for casual bi-weekly dating than say so and indicate so in your profile instead of misleading women who are out there looking for something with substance. I am not on a dating site and I am sure he isn't either. Tinder is not a dating site, it's a hookup app. I have only dated one girl who was looking for a serious relationship for Tinder. If you're looking for a serious relationship you'd better get out in the real world or get on a real dating site. The thing is that you are confusing "having a life" with "only interested in dating casually". Sure, I'm happy to reserve a day a week for a girl if I find her interesting but first she has to prove that she is worth the time that I could also be spending with my friends or family. When you have so little time you can't just go out and date every girl you're going to date weekly after the first date.
Author ErinSeMa Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 I think he might be a little shy because our "dates" are very friendly. He never really tried to make a move on me or tried to make any sexual comment (which is def.a plus). I am definitely not a 10/10 girl, maybe a 5/10 with a cute side. He is probably a 7/10 (quite short and skinny but very cute). I don't think he get a lot of swipe rights and maybe that is why he is still going out with me (to keep me around?). I have used real dating sites such as OKC and have around 10 dates I can settle with right now. Some of these guys are quite a catch, BUT i like this guy! . Should I still go on dates or would that be considered leading people on? My first dates are usually very friendly.
Author ErinSeMa Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 He is not interested. You're just a contact in case you decide to get to bed with him. When a man is interested he is in you face with it and you don't need to ask yourself 'is he interested' Stick with men that show their interest toward you. Sign a man isn't interested *maybe you should come in my area sometimes *we should do lunch again Sign a man IS interested *About next Sunday you come to my area and we go xyz *I'm heading out of town but would you like to grab lunch next Wednesday Well, so far he hasn't show any sign of that and from the first "date", I've already told him I don't sleep around. He seems interested and very nice in the "dates", but he just doesn't show it through text I know he has his phone with him . The thing is, I am talking to around 10 guys and it is hard to keep their interest on me when I keep pushing my plans back. I told some of them I can only do dinner next week (I want to see this guy for a 3rd time first), but I am afraid they will find a better catch by next week.
Odinani Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 I'd say he certainly doesn't see you as a priority. Or barely even as an option.
Gaeta Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Well, so far he hasn't show any sign of that and from the first "date", I've already told him I don't sleep around. He seems interested and very nice in the "dates", but he just doesn't show it through text I know he has his phone with him . The thing is, I am talking to around 10 guys and it is hard to keep their interest on me when I keep pushing my plans back. I told some of them I can only do dinner next week (I want to see this guy for a 3rd time first), but I am afraid they will find a better catch by next week. You don't work 10 prospects at the same time. You're gonna end up with 0. When you got 2-3 interesting prospects you hide your profile and you work on those you have already find. This way you won't burn you bridges with men you don't have time to on dates with and you will avoid over-exposing yourself online.
Author ErinSeMa Posted November 9, 2015 Author Posted November 9, 2015 You don't work 10 prospects at the same time. You're gonna end up with 0. When you got 2-3 interesting prospects you hide your profile and you work on those you have already find. This way you won't burn you bridges with men you don't have time to on dates with and you will avoid over-exposing yourself online. I am just going on first "dates" or "hang out and get to know each other" as we call it.
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