inrepair Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 What is everyone's opinion on friends you have made through your ex (her friends)? Obviously her close friends are going to stick by her, but what about a boyfriend of her friend? Is it ok to remain in touch and still have a "bro" night with him if he's willing to? Also, what about remaining friends on social media with these people? In my instance, I have unfollowed everyone of my ex's good friends/relatives whom I met/got close with during our time together on Facebook, so that their updates don't show on my feed. Because they're simply not bothered to do so, they're obviously not going to unfriend me. I genuinely like them all, and I would feel bad unfriending them, but at the same time I feel as though it gives my ex a way to keep tabs on me (not assuming she would want to, but if she did) and that kind of weirds me out.
PrettyEmily77 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 If the friendship with the friend's boyfriend is genuine on both ends, then there's no real reason not to go out on 'bro' nights out, provided you /she aren't looking to get info on each other by proxy (he'll report stuff to his GF, who most likely will blab to your ex). Best to establish healthy boundaries straight up, but it's possible IME
jrode23 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 We hung out about five days after the breakup to watch some football and have a beer and it went fine. I didn't even bring up my ex at the time, he did. He said he really didn't care if we hung out and it wasn't an issue for him. And he said he didn't care if my ex cared either, as he (and his girlfriend) had seen less and less of her over the summer as well. We've only texted a few times since then, but I'd probably contact him to watch a sporting event or something soon. I guess I am more wondering about whether or not to delete her close friends/family from Facebook. I really liked them all and have nothing against them. I'm just going back and forth as to whether or not to keep them. I've unfollowed them so I don't have to see my ex pop up in a group photo or something (my ex blocked me so I can't see anything directly of hers), but I'm also kind of wondering what the point of keeping her cousin, brother, sister and a few close friends on my friends list. I haven't creeped their pages or anything, I guess I more so just don't want them reporting stuff back to her about me. But I guess that can be controlled with hiding updates from certain people, etc.
mightycpa Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 I thought you were going to ask if it was ok to bang her friends. I was all ready to give you a green light. Oh well. Of course what you describe is ok.
jrode23 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 Nah, I'd never do that, even if I was attracted to any of them. My biggest hangup is just whether or not to unfriend her friends and family. Like I said, they were all really nice to me and really receptive from day one (which made me feel really good because my ex's ex was apparently a guy no one liked), so I think I'd feel a little guilty/bad deleting them. Several of them were also really helpful with being there for me when my ex broke up with me, which they really didn't have to, since they were her friends. At the same time I will probably never see any of them ever again, so I wonder what the point of keeping them on Facebook really is. I don't know, this is a tougher call than whether or not to unfriend my ex. I have them unfollowed so nothing shows up, but I still see their names in Facebook chat when they're online and I see them show up under my "friends" if I go to my homepage. Tough for me to tell if this will impeded my progress moving on or not, I guess.
CarrieT Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 One of my closest and dearest friends is/was Best Friends to my Ex. This guy lived in the apartment a floor above us and when my BF would come home drunk, I would often knock on this guy's door in the middle of the night for refuge. He would put on a Star Trek, get me pillows and a blanket for his couch, and make me hot chocolate. Last I heard, my Ex is living in a half-way house for failed rehab addicts, but his best friend and I are still close chums. And has been for more than a decade...
jrode23 Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 One of my closest and dearest friends is/was Best Friends to my Ex. This guy lived in the apartment a floor above us and when my BF would come home drunk, I would often knock on this guy's door in the middle of the night for refuge. He would put on a Star Trek, get me pillows and a blanket for his couch, and make me hot chocolate. Last I heard, my Ex is living in a half-way house for failed rehab addicts, but his best friend and I are still close chums. And has been for more than a decade... Yeah, we weren't this close. I don't suspect I'll ever really see much of her close female friends ever again unless I bump into them while out or something. I'd maybe hang out with her best friend's boyfriend once in awhile to catch a football game or something, but I don't know that I envision much more than that, as we did tend to hangout in a large group a lot of the time.
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