jerrygordon3 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 dated for a year. spent every moment together. she never really was the kind to take MY feelings into consideration, or at least would rationalize and always end up right. after 1 year, she left me for someone else and rationalized it saying i was abusive phsycailly. ( not true), and told all her friends and family this. made me out to look like a bad guy, and then after her rebound failed cause he was a drunk, just like all her previous BF, she came back to me. I am a super loving, nice, serious guy, and want to marry her. but now i have trust issues and tonight i told her it made me uncomfortable that she was planning a GIRLS NIGHT out downtown san diego, at some party club. i told her i didn't want her to go because i was still struggling with trusting her after we broke up cause she met someone else. she said " I'm not bailing on my friends and I'm going". even though i told her that it was okay for me to feel insecure and for this preliminary period of our second chance, it is okay for me to ask her to choose me over going out to bar with her friends. her general repsonse was, i need to go, I'm running late, this is ridiculous, you're being too controlling, and you ( talking to me) should go out and have fun with your friends too. she even got a little sadistic about it and told me i am holding her back and giving her anxiety. first off, she doesn't seem to respect my wishes, and the premise is that we are working towards marriage ( pretty ****ing serious) I've asked people already and they all have told me : leave her
joseb Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 I've read some of your other threads. You're in a codependent and very toxic and abusive relationship. If you keep seeing her I predict you will eventually be up on a domestic abuse charge. Listen to what everyone is telling you. Also you probably need to work on your self esteem, and look at your codependency issues, as noone should be in a relationship like this. 3
kitty12345 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Dump this girl. Not worth it. If they dont care about your feelings in the beginning,they who is to say what will happen later? 1
Author jerrygordon3 Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 I've read some of your other threads. You're in a codependent and very toxic and abusive relationship. If you keep seeing her I predict you will eventually be up on a domestic abuse charge. Listen to what everyone is telling you. Also you probably need to work on your self esteem, and look at your codependency issues, as noone should be in a relationship like this. I've brought this up to friends and i feel like its her issue, not mine. do you think its my own issue from me, because I am just insecure? pretty much, is it me, or is she creating the insecurities? should i fix me and we would be good, or is she just bad news?
Siquijor Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Enough red flags here to fill a golf course. Anyone who makes up BS stories by pretending to be the victim of abuse is a low life. Period. Get as far away from her as you can.
kitty12345 Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Even if they are her issues, you are being sucked in to them and having to deal with them for no fault of yours.
Buddhist Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Yeah leave her. I'll tell you why.... - She already left you once and only came back when her plan A didnt pan out. She's using you as a fallback position. - She's already demonstrating little commiment to you, your feelings or the relationship. - She prioritises partying over working on the relationship. - She seems self absorbed and she slanders you I'm at a bit of a loss to understand why you even entertained taking her back to be honest. Go find someone with serious intentions in relationships.
joseb Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 I've brought this up to friends and i feel like its her issue, not mine. do you think its my own issue from me, because I am just insecure? pretty much, is it me, or is she creating the insecurities? should i fix me and we would be good, or is she just bad news? From what I have read. It sounds like she is the main problem. She sounds like she has mental health issues. You need to also "fix you" but not to save this dysfunctional relationship. You need to do that so in the future you will have a healthy relationship with someone else. A healthy relationship with her is not possible. If you were in a good place yourself, you would see this and not have taken her back (or even gone out with her)
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