thecrucible Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 If a man describes me this way, is it good or bad? I'm not sure I want to be seen as an unknowable person as it doesn't seem like that is going to help me much with dating. I've heard this from a few guys recently - that they can't figure me out or "you're an enigma", things like that.
lilmissjava Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 By their definition, you are a person of puzzling or contradictory character. Hmph. I don't know if it's good or bad. Good in the sense that you are mysterious. Men should be attracted to a little mystery? No? I would tell them to elaborate a little more when they call you an enigma. I honestly don't know what I would do if someone called me that lol.
ScienceGal Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Hmm. Do you not give answers to certain questions, or are your answers very short?
Author thecrucible Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 Hmm. Do you not give answers to certain questions, or are your answers very short? Before I was just sort of ignoring it when guys said that because it didn't seem anything other than a neutral statement. But I've heard this enough times for me to now think, "there must be something in that". To answer, I don't give short answers. I'll open up if people ask me questions but I don't tend to freely say much about myself. I'll mention the odd thing but I haven't got in the habit of talking about myself much. I had a relationship just over a year ago where the guy would just not listen to me much and would want to talk about himself all the time. I have to spend time sussing people out to begin with, until I'm sure that they're the kind of person I can trust and talk more freely around.
Author thecrucible Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 By their definition, you are a person of puzzling or contradictory character. I know. I don't like this very much at all. I want to be seen as consistent and someone of good character - not some kind of anomaly. Honestly, at first I thought that kind of statement was a compliment. Now I think it makes me seem too different and unexpected and I don't want to be seen as confusing. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 I've used the term before out of sheer frustration. It wasn't meant to be malicious but it also wasn't meant to be a compliment.
JustGettingBy Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 It would depend on the context, most likely. If he laughs at something quirky and says it, he's probably saying he enjoys that quirk. If he says it after you show a skill or talent that's unexpected, he's probably paying you a compliment. If he says it after a confusing interaction, he's probably frustrated.
Popsicle Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 It means I'm out of energy and *this* close to giving up on you. It's a warning.
Author thecrucible Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 I guess I could be more up front with my feelings. I'll start practising in non-dating scenarios. I've heard it only a few times recently - one from a date that was going nowhere anyway (I think he sensed I was ambivalent) and my driving instructor. I consider myself a nice person and most people think of me as friendly I think. I'm quite easygoing. I'm probably not very expressive about what I'm actually thinking. I'm going to have to learn fast because I don't want this problem to crop up again.
Wewon Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 If a man describes me this way, is it good or bad? I'm not sure I want to be seen as an unknowable person as it doesn't seem like that is going to help me much with dating. I've heard this from a few guys recently - that they can't figure me out or "you're an enigma", things like that. Are you consistently wrapped around a riddle? You probably have views, hobbies and interest that are varied and divers.
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